The Lost Prince
by Spunky0ne
Summary: After failing to go through with his arranged marriage to the Spirit King's Daughter, Byakuya sacrifices everything for a final chance to regain the heart of his one true love...but failure means paying a horrible price...
1. The Royal Wedding

**The Lost Prince**

**By Spunky0ne**

**XXXXXXXXXX**

**_You said that my pride was the reason that you walked away, so I counted you among the many sacrifices I made out of necessity. But my heart would not let go. And slowly, I broke apart…until nothing was left, not even that pride. Now, walking among the lost, I myself, have been forgotten._**

**XXXXXXXXXX**

**Prologue: The Royal Wedding**

Byakuya stood silently on the balcony outside his room at the Spirit King's Palace. His eyes fixed on the enchanting gardens below, he tried to focus on the beauty of this place that was to be his new home and to forget everything that he was leaving behind. He knew that in another nearby room, Princess Eri was being carefully prepared, as he had been for their impending nuptials. There were only minutes left before he would be led into the gardens, where thousands were gathered, and bonded to the Spirit King's daughter, and heir to the throne.

He tried not to let himself dwell on his losses, but one in particular assaulted his mind forcefully, blotting out the daylight, making the gardens disappear and bringing a tear to the corner of one gray eye. He wouldn't let it fall, of course, but neither did he deny it it's place.

_"I don't give a damn what that order says!" Renji snapped, his red-brown eyes flashing, "I love you! I want to be with you. You said that you wanted the same things. How can you just sit back and accept this without a fight?"_

_The heat of his lover's anger burned uncomfortably against his skin. He took a pained breath and continued._

"_You don't understand, Renji. I don't have a choice. I cannot disobey a direct order from the Spirit King. You know that."_

"_No," Renji said furiously, "What I know is that you're giving up without a second thought. You won't even question this. You haven't told anyone about us. I mean, I understood when we got together that we had to keep things private. I respected that. I knew you had to be careful so that you wouldn't dishonor your family. But Byakuya, I always thought that eventually we would find a way to tell them…a way to bring things out into the open. I didn't think you were just using me, and that you would dump me as soon as his royal highness snapped his fingers!"_

"_It isn't like that. You know it isn't," Byakuya said, his chest constricting uncomfortably, "I feel the same as you. I want to be with you as much as you want to be with me! Why won't you believe that?"_

"_Because you're just giving up without even trying! Why? Why won't you fight for us? I mean, if you love me, why not just be honest with the king and tell him that you already promised yourself to me! If you just told him…"_

_Byakuya sighed and lowered his eyes._

"_I cannot do that, Renji."_

"_Why not? Give me one good reason!"_

_He raised his eyes and felt the heavy burn of the redhead's fury again._

"_Renji, you may not be aware of this, but every noble child, as they come of age, is taken before the king and swears an oath of fealty to his service. It is an unbreakable oath and it means that whatever he asks of me, I must surrender without hesitation. In return, I am given a noble name and an opportunity to be an example to others. It is not just some useless thing to be thrown aside."_

"_You mean…not like me?"_

_Byakuya caught his breath and turned his face away to conceal the pain Renji's words caused._

"_How can you say that to me?" he whispered in a wounded voice._

"_How can you leave me like this?" Renji whispered back._

_He could hear the tears in the redhead's voice and didn't dare look at him. He fell silent, waiting for the last painful words._

"_I guess that's it then. If you won't do anything. If you're determined to go through with this, then there's nothing for me to fight for."_

"_And what would I win by fighting," he said, surprising himself by speaking, "You know that if I disobey the king's order, I will lose everything."_

_There was a moment of breathless silence._

"_Yeah, you would have to give up your mansion, your noble name and clan leadership. That is a hell of a lot for you to lose, Byakuya. I know that. But in return, you and I would have each other. Maybe it's not so glamorous and we wouldn't have much…"_

"_Especially because, having defied the king, we would also be removed from captaincy."_

_He turned and moved closer, touching the fine fabric of the haori around Renji's shoulders._

"_I only just placed this haori on your shoulders. Renji, being a captain is something that you worked hard to achieve. I won't let you throw that away just to be with me."_

_Renji touched his face gently, then kissed him lingeringly._

"_I don't give a damn about being a captain if it means losing you. I will fight to the ends of the three worlds to be with you. And we would be fine. We don't need riches or titles or haoris, Byakuya. We just need each other."_

"_And what about my clan? Am I supposed to dishonor our name before the king? And then leave them? Renji, you don't have family, so maybe you don't understand…"_

"_The hell I don't understand!" Renji fired back, "I just think that in the long run they'll make peace with it. Byakuya, if you want to be with me, then yes, you will have to make sacrifices. I know that will be painful. But I will repay that sacrifice every day of the rest of my life. I swear to you. Just…don't go. Don't do this. At least tell the king about us and see if there is any way he will release you from this. Please…"_

"_I am…sorry. It is my duty."_

"_Then, I guess there's nothing left to say."_

A tear rolled down one pale cheek and he placed a hand on his abdomen, trying to quell the awful ache inside. He didn't want to think about Renji, about how happy they had been together, or how proud he had been being the one to set Renji's haori on his shoulders. That was all in the past, a past that he had to let go of, and one he would pay for in silence for the rest of his life. But it had been his choice. He had chosen to accept the order. He could have tried, as Renji said. But he couldn't stomach the thought, not of his own dishonor, but that he would dishonor his father's name…his grandfather, and all of the ones who had raised him to lead his clan. To be made part of the royal family was the greatest marker of success a noble could achieve. To then, refuse it would bring the king's anger. And even though Renji steadfastly refused to believe that the king would punish the entire house, Byakuya knew he would. His only course of action was to quietly accept marriage to Eri. Then when she was made Spirit Queen, to act as her consort in seeing to the care and well being of the three worlds. It was important work that he had been chosen to do. And so it seemed he was required to sacrifice his own happiness because of that. He knew that the others among the nobles were envious of the honor he had been given. It would be a slap in the king's face and in the face of his clan if he dishonored himself by turning his back on his duty.

And yet, his heart ached so badly at losing Renji, he wondered why no one had yet guessed…

"Lord Byakuya, it is time."

He followed his servant silently out of the room, through the twisting hallways and out into the gardens. He was taken to the front of the crowd and to the top of a large platform. He stood quietly as the princess was brought out, as she reached him and smiled shyly at him through her veil. He did everything he was supposed to, until…

"Lord Byakuya?" the king said questioningly.

_All that is left is to say is 'I will.'_

He swallowed hard and tried to force the words out, but they refused to sound.

"Lord Byakuya…"

"I," he managed, his heart pounding strangely and his head spinning as the king's reiatsu began to flare.

The king's blazing eyes met his and Byakuya felt as though he could no longer breathe. There was a flare of power around him and everything went ominously still. He looked around and realized that every guest, servant, lord and lady stood or sat frozen. The only two left mobile were the king and he, himself. He couldn't look into the king's eyes anymore, but lowered them and dropped slowly to his knees.

"Lord Byakuya," the king said in a low, stern voice, "Is something wrong? Why did you hesitate? Did you not accept the honor of our invitation to become a part of the royal family?"

"I did, my lord."

"And yet, you did not answer me when I asked you if you would honor your vows to my daughter."

"I meant to speak," Byakuya said softly, "but I could not make myself say the words. Gomen nasai, my lord. I did not mean to disobey you. Truly, I am honored you asked me to wed your daughter."

"But," said the king, "even though you are obedient in mind and body, your heart refuses to obey."

"My lord," said Byakuya, trying to keep his voice calm, "what am I to do? I know I must obey you, but even as I try, my heart is somewhere else…with someone else. It grieves me to disappoint you, and to dishonor my clan, but it is the truth. Perhaps Renji was right. Perhaps I should have told you."

"No," said the king, "You never had to tell me that you were in love with Renji Abarai. I knew that, as I know all things. I knew it when I chose you. I need your powers, the powers I granted you, to look after the three worlds. You were given those powers and your place in the Kuchiki family for that reason."

He looked down at the noble's bowed head and thought for a moment.

"Byakuya," he said finally, "do you truly love Renji? Enough that you would sacrifice your powers and your name for a chance to be with him?"

Byakuya lifted his eyes and met the king's gaze directly.

"I love Renji with all that I am. And if I was not bound by the powers and place you gave me, if it would not dishonor my family or my king, then I would choose to be with Renji."

The king gazed deeply into his eyes.

"But if you had not your powers or your name. If you were poor and powerless, do you think that Renji Abarai would still love you?"

A small, unbidden smile came to Byakuya's lips and a tear formed in the corner of one eye.

"Renji loves the person beneath the power and the Kuchiki family name. He is the only person who ever loved me in such a way."

"Are you certain?" the king asked solemnly, "Would you stake your future on it? Your life?"

Byakuya's smile widened and he met the king's eyes with more confidence.

"Renji's love is the one thing that I am most certain of."

"And he would love you, despite the fact that you left him?"

Byakuya's smile faded.

"I do not know. He was terribly hurt by my leaving."

"And yet, you cannot actually go through with leaving him and marrying my daughter. Your obedience, it appears, is incomplete. So you leave me with no choice."

"M-my lord?" Byakuya said uncertainly.

"You say that Renji Abarai's love is the one thing you are certain of. And you say that if not for your powers and your responsibilities, you would be with him now."

"Yes, my lord, but…"

"If this is what you truly believe, I will give you the chance to prove it."

"How?" Byakuya asked warily.

"I will send you back. I will remove your powers and your name, as well as your memories. I will make it so that no one who looks at you will recognize you as Byakuya Kuchiki. I will leave you in the place where your beloved Renji grew up. If you and Renji are truly meant to be together, then Renji will find you. If his love is as true as you say it is, then it will allow him to see through to who you really are. And if he does, I will forgive you for this disobedience. I will give you back all that was taken, and I will release you from your obligation to my daughter. But if, in one year's time, you and Renji have not found and recognized each other, then you will permanently lose everything…powers…name…even the face you wear. You will live and die a poor man on the streets of Inuzuri."

He stopped speaking for a moment and studied the noble's strained expression.

"Are you so certain of your love now?" the king asked, "Are you certain enough to let your fate rest in the hands of that love? Will you accept the consequences if you fail?"

Byakuya closed his eyes and braced himself against the fear that rose up in him, even considering the king's challenge. He nearly couldn't answer, but then something came back to him.

_"Why are you staring at me?" he asked, looking up into Renji's red-brown eyes and feeling the redhead's heat still circling inside him._

"_I'm looking at you," Renji whispered, kissing him, "but for the first time, I'm really seeing you."_

_Renji's fingers ran lightly down his face and touched the skin of his throat._

_"I see your heart. I see who you really are. And now that I've seen that, I will never forget you."_

"But will you remember me if I have even forgotten myself?" Byakuya whispered.

"It is a great risk, the king warned him, "Think carefully."

Tears rose up in his eyes and his heart raced painfully, but he knew what he had to do. Renji had been furious with him for being unwilling to fight. What the king offered was horribly dangerous, but it was a way to win the right to love Renji openly without dishonor coming to the ones he loved.

"But…how will we find each other?" he asked breathlessly.

The king's eyes softened unexpectedly and he slipped a hand beneath the noble's pale chin.

"You do not have to do this," the monarch told him, "but if you wish me to free you to be with Renji, then you must prove first that you are perfectly devoted to, and trusting of, that love. You must be willing to risk everything to find it. And once it is yours, you must never let it go as you did. Do not worry. If you fail, I will spare both of you ever remembering each other. You will simply live out the rest of your life as a poor man of Inuzuri…a hard life, perhaps, but then, you are resourceful. You will cope well, I am sure."

Byakuya knelt at the king's feet, considering carefully. He felt the king's expectant eyes on him and looked up.

"You have made a decision then?"

"I have."

"Then…do I marry you to my daughter or do I send you on this journey to find your true love?"

"I will accept your terms," Byakuya whispered, "I will sacrifice my memories, my powers and my name for a chance to have a future with Renji."

"Are you sure?" the king asked softly.

"I am sure."

The king's eyes flared with power and white light rose around Byakuya, making the gardens and all of the people around him disappear. His eyes remained open, but all he could see was depthless white. A weariness stole over him, then he seemed to go numb inside. He tried to remember then, where he had been, or what had happened before. He tried to remember what it was that had been causing him such pain, but found that the pain and the cause had disappeared. His mind spun and he closed his eyes against the motion. He heard whispers of voices and felt his body being lifted, touches of healing, and an admonition to sleep. His eyes opened for only a moment, and met an old man's gentle gaze.

"You're lucky you were found quickly enough," the old man said, "On a night like tonight, you would have frozen to death out there all alone like that. Now sleep. A good night's rest, and you will be all right."

"B-but…who are you?"

The old man smiled.

"I am Michio, the town healer, and this lovely girl is my wife, Noa. Might I have your name, fortunate stranger?"

Byakuya said the first name that entered his mind.

"B-bya. My name is Bya."


	2. All That We Need

**Chapter 2: All That We Need**

**XXXXXXXXXX**

_**Raindrops fell and drenched my wings. They grew heavy and I could lift myself no more. Fallen from the sky, I lay in your arms, thankful you found me, but profoundly alone…**_

**XXXXXXXXXX**

"Captain Abarai, a hell butterfly for you, sir. It's from the head captain."

Renji nodded briefly, hardly looking up from the papers on his desk.

"Thanks."

_Captain Abarai,_ _word has come from the spirit dimension that Prince Byakuya has disappeared from the palace. He was supposed to be married to Princess Eri today, but is nowhere to be found. While it is known that he was not pleased at the prospect of marrying the princess, there is no known reason for him to have abandoned this marriage. His reiatsu has disappeared, but a weak signal was sensed somewhere in the Rukon. Take a group and search the Rukon. His majesty fears that he may have met with foul play!_

"Huh…" Renji grunted unhappily, "or maybe he just abandoned her like he abandoned me, ne? We could start our own club. The Byakuya Kuchiki Former Lover's Association."

He knew better than to let himself go too far down that line of thinking, Instead, he busied himself picking out team members. He was tempted to delegate the search and not go himself, but with the order coming directly from the head captain, by royal directive, he was bound to be reprimanded for it. Byakuya had drilled it into his head.

If it's important enough for the head captain to send a private message, or if it is a directive of the king, it is to be handled by the captain personally.

"Yeah…I know. But why the hell did they pick me?" the redhead muttered.

He knew exactly why. The head captain had figured them out. And while Byakuya might never have said anything, and Renji, himself, had kept quiet about it, there were probably a few others who knew.

And let's face it. Who else knows him well enough to track him if he doesn't want to be found? There's me, and there's…uh, me, and then there's—you guessed it…me! Fuck.

"Captain Abarai," the third seat reported, "You sent for me?"

"Yeah," he answered off-handedly, "I need you and the others on that list I sent you ready to head out to the Rukon in an hour."

"How far will we be going into the Rukon and how long should we plan to stay, sir?"

Renji sighed resignedly.

"As far and as long as it takes. Kami knows, Princess Eri needs her Prince Charming."

"Um…yes sir!"

XXXXXXXXXX

Bya opened his eyes and found that it was early morning. Soft light came through the window and he heard morning birds beginning to chirp outside. He tried, as he had the night before, to remember anything of consequence…who exactly he was, where he came from, why and how he had come to Inuzuri and what he planned to do. But as much as he strained to remember, nothing came back to him.

He slipped out of bed and tied his thin gray yukata more tightly around his slender waist. He didn't intend to overhear, but the doctor's voice issued softly in the hallway outside his room.

"Did he remember anything at all last night, Noa?"

"No. He did seem to be trying, poor dear. But as hard as he tried, all he could remember was that his name is Bya."

"Ah, well. He will have a few more days while he recovers from whatever happened to him. If he hasn't remembered anything more by then, we'll just have to help him settle in here."

"I worry for him, if that happens," said the doctor's wife, "He doesn't strike me as the kind who should be here, Michio. He is…different. Don't you feel it?"

"Hai. But there may be no choice in the matter. If he doesn't remember, he still must become able to fend for himself."

"He seems an intelligent type. Perhaps he could assist you."

"You know he has no powers, Noa."

"But he is intelligent. He can help you with the things that don't require power."

There was a short pause.

"You seem quite fond of him," the doctor commented.

"Well," said Noa, "I think he reminds me of someone. I don't know who, just…someone."

She chuckled softly.

"My mind is going. I can't for the life of me think of who it was!"

The voices faded away and Bya was left alone again. He stepped out of the bedroom and into the hallway, then froze as he heard a soft sound coming from a room a few feet beyond his. He moved forward and peeked in through the partially opened door. A young girl with pretty red hair knelt on the bed, resting her head on crossed arms on the windowsill. She hardly made a sound, but he could see from the soft tremble of her shoulders that she was crying. He moved closer and let a hand touch her shoulder lightly, then stared in wonder as he was met with large, doelike gray eyes that were filled with tears. And one breathless moment later, the girl had turned and thrown herself into his arms, sobbing. He sat down on the bed by the window, holding her and looking out at the stars. And before he really knew what was happening, a memory flashed in his mind.

"There, there, Little One. It will be all right. I know who you cry for. I cry for her too. She may not be here to hold you, but you have me. And between the two of us, we will have all that we need."

Then he heard a soft male voice singing. His eyes widened and he held the crying girl tighter, repeating the words he knew he had heard many, many times.

**Maybe ships on the sea will bring us no treasures**

**And dreams that we have just can't be**

**Maybe we'll never live in palaces or castles**

**But darling, you'll still have me**

**xxx**

**We're not bound for glory, not headed for heaven**

**We have nothing more than you see**

**But paradise is more, than money can buy**

**And the best things are given for free**

**xxx**

**So take my hand and turn in a circle**

**No one needs follow or lead**

**We'll dance until dawn and sing our hearts barren**

**And we will have all that we need**

**xxx**

**We don't hunger or thirst, our bodies are strong**

**And we carry a lightness inside**

**And even when left on our knees and with nothing**

**Our hearts remember our pride**

**xxx**

**So don't let the storm, the thunder, the lightning**

**The rain or the rumbling succeed**

**Just put your arms 'round me, your head on my shoulder**

**And we will have all that we need**

**Yes, we will have all that we need**

**You and I will have all that we need**

**xxx**

"That was lovely," said Noa's voice from the doorway, "Where did you learn it?"

Bya looked away from the girl, who was now sleeping quietly, her head rested on his shoulder.

"I don't know. I just heard her crying and when I came in and saw her, I remembered a man holding a baby and singing that. I don't know who the man or baby were…or where the memory came from."

Noa gazed at him sympathetically, then her eyes moved on to the girl resting in Bya's arms.

"That is little Emiko. She lived in a group of cottages near the end of town. The hollows attacked a few days ago. Her parents were killed and she was injured. She's healing all right, but she cries a lot and hasn't been really speaking to anyone. Hasn't wanted anyone to try to comfort her until now."

She paused and gave him a warm smile.

"You are good with children."

Bya looked back at her thoughtfully, but said nothing in answer. Noa studied him for a moment.

"Well, we have a rule here on the streets of Inuzuri. And that's that when you find someone weaker than you, you use your strength to protect the weaker ones. So, because you found Emiko and helped her to open up a bit, she will be your responsibility."

Bya blinked in surprise.

"B-but, I don't have any way to take care of her. I don't even know how to take care of myself. I'm not saying that I won't, but…"

Noa laughed softly.

"Not to worry, Bya. I am sure that a smart lad like you will find your way."

She sighed softly.

"And it kind of makes sense, you know. You and Emiko both being orphans of a sort, you can look out for each other."

Bya set the girl back in bed and placed the covers over her, then turned to leave. He followed Noa out to the kitchen and joined her at the table. The old woman set a cup of tea in front of him and poured out one for herself.

"Are you feeling better?" she asked, "You still look a tad paler than you should, I think."

"I feel much improved over last night," Bya told her, "I am grateful to you and Michio for taking me in and caring for me."

"Well," said Noa, dropping a sugar cube into her tea, "we are healers. That is what we do. We mend what we can and get people back on their feet. The ones that can't fend for themselves, we arrange in groups so they can take care of each other. Out here in Inuzuri, that's all we can do."

Bya looked down into his cup, swirled the tea and took a sip.

"I am grateful, just the same. And if there is something I can do to repay you…"

"I'll tell you what," Noa said, inclining her head, "You help us out while you are here and take Emiko under your wing and we will call it even, ne?"

Bya gave her a small smile.

"Very well."

Noa nodded.

"After you finish your tea, I have some medical supplies that just arrived. I will need your help sorting and putting them away, then you'll need to take some of them to Michio."

Bya listened quietly as Noa told him more about the town, and the two drank the rest of their tea. He busied himself for the next few hours helping Noa, then looked in on Emiko briefly before leaving to take the medical supplies to Michio. He kept himself hooded, as Noa had insisted was best, and didn't make eye contact with the rougher looking people roaming the town. He reached the edge of Inuzuri and found Michio, tending to a family that had fallen ill.

"Thank goodness," sighed the old healer, "Supplies come in, but slowly and I was about out of a few things. Why don't you go and tend to the children over there and I'll look through these."

Bya knelt next to the sick boy and girl, sponging their faces and making sure they were warm enough. He felt someone watching him and turned his head. His eyes found those of the children's mother.

"Bless you," she said in a tremulous voice, "I've wanted to get up to help them, but…"

"Do not worry," Bya told her, "They will be all right now. The worst of the illness is past."

The woman smiled and closed her eyes. Bya cleaned up the healer's work area, then rejoined Michio as he gathered his things and left the cottage. They started back into town together, walking slowly through the darkened streets. Just outside the center of town, they spotted a large man walking in the opposite direction. Michio made a sound of discontent and nudged Bya into the shadows. They were nearly past the man, when he suddenly turned and glared at them.

"Old man," he said in a rough, grating voice, "You get yourself a new wife?"

"Go home, Toru. You are drunk," Michio said shortly, continuing past him.

A moment later, Bya felt a hand grip his shoulder. He turned swiftly and knocked it away, then angled himself protectively in front of Michio.

"Oh," said Toru, his black eyes glinting, "You're not a girl. Funny. You look like one."

Toru moved in close again and Bya attacked, striking him soundly with brutally fast hands and feet. Toru stepped back, brushing a thin line of blood away from the corner of his mouth.

"I don't hit like one," Bya said warningly.

Toru's eyes narrowed and Byakuya sensed the presence of others around them. Michio made a small move and light and smoke burst from his hands.

"Run!" he hissed, taking Bya by the arm and pulling him along.

Bya followed, but hadn't taken more than a few steps, when another body struck his unexpectedly, taking him to the ground, holding him down and covering his mouth. In seconds, Michio was gone and Bya was surrounded. His attacker dragged him to his feet and another helped to hold Bya as Toru approached. The black eyed man glared at him and pulled away his hood.

"What's your hurry, pretty boy? Don't you know it's rude to run off without giving a guy an appropriate 'hello?' So then, why don't you give me a proper greeting."

Bya gasped and doubled over as a fist struck his abdomen. The ones holding him forced him to his knees. Toru stepped forward and began moving his clothing aside.

"I run a brothel in town. I own about twenty whores, male and female. I could use a guy with a pretty face like yours. Why don't you show me what you can do, and I'll see you're taken care of, ne?"

"Don't flatter yourself," Bya said, glaring as the man closed in on him.

He waited until Toru was a breath away, then tore free and threw himself forward, striking the man in the exposed genitals, then breaking into a run as Toru screamed and fell. As swift as he was, a few of his pursuers could flash step, and he was dragged down again, just short of the street on which Michio's building stood.

"Oh no, you don't," growled one of his attackers, "You fucked with the wrong guy, this time."

"Hold him!" yelled Toru, limping towards them, "I'll kill that little bitch!"

Bya tried to pull free again, but too many hands held him too tightly now. They dragged him onto his knees and tore at his clothing as Toru flash stepped in and began kicking and hitting him. He struggled harder, but was frozen in place as Toru's body started to glow and his spiritual pressure rose until Bya couldn't breathe. Toru grabbed him by the back of the neck and shoved him down on his stomach, forcing his legs apart.

"Now, you'll learn your place. And if you live, I'll own you. If you die, then that's your tough luck."

Bya closed his eyes against what was about to happen, then opened them again as a different voice reached him.

"Hado #31 Shakkahou!"

Sharp red flashes of light struck the men around Bya and a moment later, they were all on the ground, unconscious. Bya's head spun and spots danced before his eyes as he was turned over and his clothes were set back in place.

"You all right?" his rescuer asked.

Warm, calloused hands touched his face and he looked into a face that was familiar to him, but that he could not attach to a name. The man's eyes went wide.

"B-byakuya?" he gasped.

Then, he looked more closely and shook his head.

"Sorry," he mumbled, "Thought you were someone else."

He stood and brought Bya up with him.

"You okay now?" he asked.

"I am fine. Arigato…"

"Renji," the man told him.

"You are a shinigami…a captain?" asked Bya.

"Y-yeah. Look, do you have somewhere to go? You still look a bit rocky. There's a healer on the next block. Want me to take you there?"

"N-no," Bya said, turning away.

He managed a few steps, then collapsed onto the ground. Renji smiled gently and shook his head.

"Damn, you are like him."

The smile faded and he bent to gather the unconscious man into his arms. He started in surprise as a pale arm wrapped instinctively around him and the man's head dropped onto his shoulder. His eyes widened for a moment as a memory struck him.

"What are you doing?" Byakuya asked as he lifted the dozing noble off of the ground and watched several sakura blossoms fall to the ground at his feet.

"What does it look like?" Renji chuckled softly, "I'm taking you back to your room. You're exhausted. Meetings, paperwork, dinner, moonlight, sake and hours of lovemaking? You have to be exhausted."

"I am a bit drowsy. I will go to sleep, but only if you will stay."

"What?"

"Stay with me tonight."

"What, here at the manor? I thought that…"

"I don't care. I want you to stay."

A pale arm wrapped around him and the noble's head dropped onto his shoulder, the lovely face burrowing into his throat.

"Hey," Renji laughed, "Knock it off, will you? I won't be able to concentrate well enough to get us past your security guards without being seen."

"Think you can, do you, Abarai?" Byakuya asked, smiling and nipping at his neck.

"Child's play," the redhead said, breaking into a flash step, "Remember where I come from."

He blinked at the slight scent of sakura and looked down at the man in his arms again.

"Ah, who the hell am I kidding?" he sighed.

He carried the other to the end of the dark street and halfway down the next. He was surprised to find the door to the healer's building standing open and the old healer and his wife peeking out worriedly. They caught sight of Renji and dashed towards him, making sounds of relief.

"Thank goodness, Renji-san! You found him! We were so worried when he didn't come back!"

"Yeah, he ran into some trouble. He took a pretty nasty blow to the head and got knocked around a bit, but I think he'll be all right."

He followed Michio into a bedroom and set the unconscious man down. The healer leaned over him as Renji watched.

"You know him, then?" he asked Michio.

"He appeared out of nowhere yesterday. Ryuu and Toshi found him unconscious in the scrub area outside of town. He was half frozen and lucky to be alive."

"Hmmm…" Renji responded.

"Renji-san, we haven't seen you for a while. Not since you were here with Byakuya-san for the summer solstice. How are the two of you doing?"

"Oh…" Renji said, his lips tightening, "I'm fine. I just…Byakuya and I aren't together anymore."

The healer looked up at him in surprise.

"But I thought that you two were so happy together! I know Byakuya-san was. It was the happiest I'd seen him since he lost our Hisana. Do you mind me asking what happened?"

Renji sighed.

"Royal Privilege, that's what happened. We were together for three years, then poof, a hell butterfly arrived and everything just…disappeared. He was supposed to marry Princess Eri. Actually, Byakuya is what brought me here. He disappeared from the palace yesterday just before he was supposed to be married. The king thinks it may have been foul play. Byakuya's reiatsu was briefly sensed somewhere in the Rukon, so they sent me to check it out. Have you seen him?"

Michio shook his head.

"He hasn't come by. But if we see him, we'll let you know. And if you stay another day, you could check out by the river, where Hisana found him. He goes there every year on the day they met. Maybe he'll be there."

"Maybe," said Renji, "but I wouldn't hold my breath."

Michio looked at him sadly.

"Renji-san, I am sorry that things did not work out for you and Byakuya-san. I know he had to leave you. He couldn't defy the king's order, but…Noa and I could see how much love there was between you."

"Yeah," Renji said in a soft voice, his eyes straying to the injured man sleeping in the bed, "There was."


	3. Reflections

**Chapter 3: Reflections**

**XXXXXXXXXX**

_**I searched everywhere, but I could not find myself…not in the places I walked, or the honors I earned, not in the words I said that were forgotten almost as they left me. The only place I saw myself reflected was in the warm shine of your eyes.**_

**XXXXXXXXXX**

Renji carried the injured man into Michio's building, then into the bedroom Noa directed him to. He moved aside to make room for the old healer to do his work, but watched and offered what assistance he could. Under the stronger light, the unconscious man still bore some resemblance to the missing noble, but there was no denying that, although his pale coloring and delicate look were like Byakuya's, and the man was certainly very comely, there was no way that this was his former lover.

He had to have simply been imagining things when he turned the man over and clearly saw Byakuya's face. He quickly wrote it off as meaning that he had seen what he wanted to see. Because despite the way he tried to brush off the thought, he was still very much in love with the noble. He knew in his heart that although Byakuya had followed his sense of duty and left him, that the noble was still deeply in love with him. And though sometimes he felt anger about having been abandoned, his heart wouldn't let him stay angry. He was hurt and sad, and he pretended to have given up, but for some reason he couldn't fathom, he still felt an odd little shadow of something that felt like hope. In any case, the fact that Byakuya was missing and that foul play was suspected, ignited that old familiar protectiveness that lingered in his nature. He might not be anything to the noble now, but he was once the man's protector. And one, he thought, didn't just get over that urge to protect overnight.

"How does it look?" Renji asked quietly.

"The head wound is bad, but manageable. The rest is mostly cuts and bruises. I'm only really concerned about the head wound because he had already had a blow to the head before he was found yesterday. Poor lad doesn't remember anything beyond his name."

"He lost his memory?" Renji asked, frowning.

"Apparently. He and Noa spent some time together and he was remembering a few bits, but nothing much."

"And he's not from around here, I guess or you would have known."

"If I'd seen him before I'd remember. He looks a bit like an angel, and seems gentle like one, too. He won the heart of little Emiko. Poor child lost her parents to the hollows a few days ago, and Bya was the first one could make her come out of her shell."

"B-bya?" Renji whispered, furrowing his brow.

He looked again at the man and still registered the differences. He scanned more thoroughly and his frown deepened. He shook his head slightly. It was a coincidence. It had to be, because this man was of very reduced reiatsu, the eyes he had seen had been larger and perhaps lighter. His features were softer and the fall of his hair was wrong. No, even Byakuya had not perfected his skills so that his former lover and vice captain would not know him this close up. He was sure. He sighed softly.

"Is there any more I can do to help?" he asked.

"No," Michio replied, "I am finished healing him. We'll watch over him tonight to make sure…"

He broke off as a small gasp issued from the doorway and a little red-haired girl who Renji judged to be about five years old burst across the room and to the unconscious man's bedside. He watched curiously as she reached Bya's side and started to cry and tug on his sleeve.

"Bya! Bya! Wake up!" she sobbed.

Michio slipped an arm around her and glanced up at Renji for a moment.

"There, there, little one. He'll be all right. He just got a bump on the head and some scratches and bruises."

"W-was it a hollow?" the girl asked breathlessly, "Are they back again?"

Michio sighed softly and held her more tightly.

"No, child, this was no hollow. Just rough people."

The girl calmed and as Renji and the old healer watched, she dropped her head onto the pillow beside Bya's and slipped a hand into his. The two men blinked in surprise as soft green healing light began to glow around the girl and then flowed slowly into the sleeping man. Michio shook his head and smiled.

"It looks like we may have a young healer on our hands," he commented, "If she is fortunate, then maybe when she is of age for the academy…"

He let the thought trail off. He and Renji both knew exactly how much chance there was of her surviving to that age in Inuzuri.

"Look," said Renji, his eyes on Bya and Emiko, "I have to go and check in with my squad. I'll come by tomorrow after I go out to…after I check out the area some more."

Michio nodded.

"It's the winter solstice tomorrow as well, and our Emiko's birthday. There is a party in the town square in the afternoon. You are welcome to join us."

"Yeah, thanks. I'll see if we can stay until then," Renji answered, turning towards the door.

All the way back to the squad's meeting point, Renji mulled over the situation in his mind. Finally, he put it aside and went back to wondering what had happened to his missing former lover. But as the night wore on, he was no closer to knowing what had become of Byakuya Kuchiki. It was as though he had simply disappeared.

And there was no reason for him doing that that Renji could fathom. Because if Byakuya _had_ run from his wedding to Princess Eri, his heart told him that the noble would have returned to him.

_My heart might be broken, but I know that for a fact._

He continued to mull over the strange fact of the situation as he dropped into bed and fell into a troubled sleep.

XXXXXXXXXX

Byakuya stood in his father's darkened bedroom, a picture of Soujun in his hands, and his eyes focused on the mirror. If he made his eyes blur, he could nearly look like his father. But without that little change, his mouth frowned too much and his eyes were too stern. In those ways, he more resembled Ginrei. As much as he dearly loved his grandfather, he wanted to be more like Soujun.

_He knew that the elders would laugh at him and call him silly to want such a thing. But there were things about his father that Byakuya desired strongly to inherit. And as he looked into the mirror and searched for the resemblances, he reminded himself of those things that meant something to him. It mattered nothing that Soujun's powers had not grown to captain level. He had a beautiful shikai, and now that Byakuya had his own shikai, he was glad there were resemblances. His father wielded a thousand shooting stars and he had a thousand sakura blossoms. They both released their attacks by pointing their swords upward. And both made something beautiful to decorate the skies overhead. He closed his eyes and remembered the thousand shooting stars, feeling tears in his eyes because he would never see them again. _

_His father was gone._

_Gone the way his mother had been the day he was born. But with his mother, there was no impression, nothing for him to hold onto. He had seen her picture, but she had never seemed real to him. Soujun Kuchiki had a lovely face, a gentle voice, a pure heart and was loved by everyone except the stupid elders. He sang beautifully and was able to play several instruments, read every book in the Kuchiki family archive, excelled in calligraphy and geography, studied history passionately, and could make plants and flowers come to life with an innate power that Byakuya was proud to have inherited._

_He stopped and looked down at his hands. Then he turned out of his father's empty bedroom and went out to the gardens. He stood in the center and looked all around, seeing his father in every color, every texture, every blend of scent and every sound. If he closed his eyes, that place still radiated everything that Soujun Kuchiki was._

_His first instinct was to keep it exactly as his father had left it, but try as he might, he lost some blossoms and plants to disease or age, and he was forced to replace them. So he honored his father by replacing them using the calm, sensual ritual that he had been carefully taught when he and his father were alone there. He stood in the center and closed his eyes, feeling the entirety of the space to be filled. He waited with a quiet mind as the image of what would be came to him and grew in texture and color, in scents and shapes…a sensual impression that remained with him as he walked, then, around the area, making it as he had imagined it. He loved the feel of the soil on his skin, the mixture of scents and the slowing of time that seemed to happen only there. In his father's absence, it was the only way to make himself feel content inside. He didn't even try to make himself happy._

_He sometimes wondered why he was still alive. He didn't long to die, but he didn't fear it either. He remembered his father's words as the life was leaving his body._

"_Do not be afraid of death when it approaches, sochi. It takes us, but gently and moves us forward. And to hide from our fate, even if our fate is death, is to be left standing still on the pathway. We will be together again, Byakuya. I promise you."_

Bya felt the dream he had been having fade away and even though he tried to hold onto it, within moments, nothing was left but a feeling of loss. A wet cloth settled onto his forehead and small fingers touched his face. He tried to move, but although he could sense what was happening around him, he could not move or open his eyes.

"Please don't die, Bya," a girl's voice whispered, "Please don't die."

"He will be all right, little one," said Noa's calm, matronly voice, "He was hurt, but Michio healed him. He only needs rest, and for you to tend him, and he will be up and around very soon. You have talent, child. I think you will be a healer someday."

"I want to be a healer," the small, sweet voice said, as her fingers traced the lines of his face, "I want to make people better when they get hurt or sick."

He could feel the warmth of Noa's smile even without seeing it.

"Well, child, you will. And you will start with helping mend our Bya. Keep freshening that cloth and talking to him. He will wake soon. When he does, you must tell him to stay in bed and encourage him to drink the tea I taught you to make."

"I will."

He felt Noa's presence leave the room and in the deep silence that was left behind, he could hear Emiko's soft breaths. She sat quietly, talking now and then, but much of the time just sitting in silence, sharing space and the comfort of her spiritual presence. He loved the feeling of security in not having been left completely alone. It helped him doze off, but he rose out of sleep again later to the sound of a child's voice humming softly. He felt himself smile as he realized what song it was. He listened contentedly and drifted off again, waking to find that the room had warmed and sunlight was streaming in through the window. He sat up slowly, then climbed out of bed and placed the sleeping girl where he had been. He kissed her forehead lightly and wrapped a second thin yukata around him to keep himself warmer.

Moving out into the kitchen, he found that Michio and Noa both appeared to be out. He slipped out the front door and walked slowly towards the edge of town, not knowing quite why he felt compelled to go that way. He was grateful that the day was going to be warm. It had been nothing but cold since he woke at Michio and Noa's home. His feet moved slowly and in a direction it seemed very much like they knew.

Bya reached the end of the town and continued to walk along the trail that led into a scrub covered plain. Spotting more greenery to his right, he turned and made his way to a cool, tree shaded river area. Something tugged at him inside as he looked at the rushing water, then noticed a smaller trail leading into the trees. He was just moving onto the trail, when he saw that he was not alone. A young woman with dark hair and violet eyes knelt beside the water, holding a bunch of flowers in her hand and crying soundlessly.

He knew he should leave her to her mourning, but as he turned away, he heard her catch her breath.

"B-brother?" she said so softly he barely heard it above the sound of the rushing river.

He turned back and met her eyes, then watched sadly as disappointment registered on her pretty features.

"Oh…I'm, I'm sorry," she mumbled, "I was mistaken."

Bya remained frozen on the riverbank.

"I am sorry to have bothered you," he said quietly.

He turned back to the trail and walked away. The small trail ended, leaving him and a rugged, rocky area that looked deserted. He explored the area briefly, and just as he was preparing to leave, found the well-hidden entrance to a cave. He moved the brush and passed through to the inside, and frowned as a feeling of familiarity washed over him. The cave was comfortably large and looked as though some time ago, someone had lived there. A small cooking area had been made that vented up through a thin, natural opening in the rock. The floor was smooth and with the light that filtered in, he spotted an old, ragged bed of long field grasses. He studied the room for some time, then decided that it looked like a good place to settle.

The cave was cold, but there were plenty of things to use to fuel a fire, as well as a safe place to vent it. There were some sheltered areas he had seen where he and Emiko could grow food, and the river would provide water. The cave was well hidden and set far enough off the trail that they would not be bothered. All in all, it seemed a good choice. Once they were provisioned, he thought, they could move into the cave.

He would have to bring Emiko to see it first, of course.

He left the cave, replacing the scrub at the entrance to cover it again. He crossed the rough ground and found the trail that led back along the river in the direction of the plains outside town. As he returned along the river's edge, he heard a familiar voice and paused, just out of sight of the ones talking. It seemed to be the woman he had seen earlier, and the man who had rescued him from Toru the night before.

"Rukia," said the man, who he remembered had identified himself as 'Renji,' "Look, I'm sorry. I've looked everywhere, in all of the places that I could imagine him being. I really did try to find him."

"I know you did," the woman said in a choked voice, "I'm just scared for him, Renji. Why would he do that? Why would he just vanish? I know that he didn't want to be married to the princess, but my brother wouldn't have let his sense of duty make him leave us to marry the princess, for him just to turn around and leave her and disappear like this. It just doesn't make any sense. I know Byakuya, Renji. I know that someone did something to him! I know!"

Renji gave a long, frustrated sigh.

"Yeah," he said in a low voice, "and honestly, though I don't think I want to admit it, something tells me that if he did lose it and run from his wedding, he would have somehow found a way to let us know he was all right. He wouldn't just completely disappear. I agree with you. I think something happened to him. And I'm going to keep looking until…"

He broke off suddenly as footsteps sounded on the trail. He registered Emiko's voice, then Michio and Noa's, and he backed a ways down the trail.

"Renji," said the healer, "Have you seen Bya?"

"Bya?" Renji answered, "No. I thought he was staying with you."

"He was," said Emiko, "but he left while I was sleeping and while Michio and Noa were out working, and someone told us they saw him come out this way. He needs to come back. He was hurt and shouldn't be all alone out here. A…a hollow could…"

"Oh," said Rukia quickly, "I'm sure he's fine. I saw a man go by earlier. Maybe it was him."

"A man?" said Emiko, "Was he pretty tall and had black hair and gray eyes, and really white skin?"

"Yes, actually. At first, I thought it was my brother, but then I looked closer and it wasn't."

"It's Bya!" the girl said quickly, "I know it has to be!"

He heard the tears in the girl's voice and felt guilt sweep over him at having made her afraid for him. He waited a few minutes longer, then stepped out on the trail and walked to where they were still talking, next to the river. As he came into sight, Emiko gave a high-pitched squeal and ran to him, jumping into his arms and holding him tightly around the shoulders.

"Bya," said Noa, "You gave us all a fright. You shouldn't be up and about in such a state."

"My apologies for worrying you," Bya replied, giving Emiko a kiss on the forehead, "I woke and felt better. And I was just stretching my legs and ended up out here. I think I may have found a place for Emiko and myself to stay."

The others followed him out to the cave he had found and the group sat down inside to enjoy tea and bread that Noa had brought, while Michio insisted on examining Bya.

"You are improved, but you really need to return to my home for a few more days. It may be nothing, but I still feel some concern about that head injury."

"And you have to come back," Emiko insisted, "Today is my birthday. And on my birthday, my parents always took me to the solstice party. They always have free soup and bread and tea. And they give the children cookies and a gift. And there are games and dancing and…"

"I don't think he will be up to dancing tonight, child," Michio said, "but I know he won't want to miss celebrating your birthday."

"Of course not," agreed Bya, "I will go back. We will move out here as soon as Michio feels it will be appropriate."

The group gathered their things and left the cave, starting back along the trail that led into town. As they walked, Renji touched Rukia's arm to get her attention.

"Huh?"

"Hey, do you have a little time when we get back to town?" he asked quietly.

"Yeah, sure. Why?"

Renji glanced back in the direction they had come.

"I have an idea and I'll need your help."

"Sure. Okay, what do you want me to do?"

"Just come with me."

The two bade the others farewell, then flash stepped away.


	4. Winter Solstice

**Chapter 4: Winter Solstice**

**XXXXXXXXXX**

_**He that is thy friend indeed**_

_**He will help thee in thy need**_

_**If thou sorrow, he will weep**_

_**If thou wake, he cannot sleep**_

_**Thus with every grief in heart**_

_**He with thee does bear a part**_

_**These are certain signs to know**_

_**Faithful friend from flattering foe**_

_**-William Shakespeare**_

**XXXXXXXXXX**

"Are you sure you feel up to going with us, Bya dear?" Noa asked, studying the man's pale features, "We can take Emiko and let you rest if you aren't up to it. The girl will understand."

"I really am much better," Bya assured her, "And in any case, as Emiko is my responsibility, I need to take care of her. It is her birthday, and I won't miss it."

"Very well, then," smiled the old woman, "Come with me."

"Where are we going?" Bya asked, turning to follow.

"I have something a little nicer than a yukata that I think will fit you."

She led him to a small room in the back of the building and searched briefly through the closet, then emerged bearing a simple, but lovely kimono. Bya's eyes softened in gratitude at the sight of the dark blue fabric with elegant turns of deep green vines decorating the collar, sleeves and hemline.

"We had a guest here who left it behind some years ago, but I thought it would match you. And it looks like I was right. Put it on, Bya."

He slipped into the dressing area and emerged a few minutes later wearing the kimono and unable to keep himself from smiling. Noa gazed at him affectionately.

"Now," she said quietly, "That looks much better for a celebration, doesn't it?"

"Arigato, Noa," Bya said softly, gazing at himself in the full-length mirror.

His eyes narrowed for a moment as an image flashed in his mind.

"_I told you I don't dance in public, ever!"_

_A strong arm wrapped around him and a warm hand took hold of his. Heated, smiling lips touched his ear._

"_Shut up and just go with it. This is Inuzuri and no one knows you here. You can stop being all uptight and relax a little. Come on, now. Trust me."_

A moment later, his breath was taken away as the one who held him swept him into motion.

Bya blinked and took a short surprised breath.

"Is something wrong?" Noa asked, looking concerned.

"N-no," Bya assured her, "I just…thought I remembered something, but I guess I was mistaken."

"Bya!" called Emiko from the hallway, "Bya?"

Bya and Noa left the room and walked back to where Emiko was running from room to room looking for them.

"Oh, there you are," she began, but then stopped and her gray eyes went wide.

Bya too was staring and smiling at the charming pale green, pink trimmed kimono the girl was wearing.

"Emiko," he said softly, "You look beautiful."

"Bya, you look like Prince Charming from the book of fairy tales!" the girl exclaimed.

"I think you exaggerate," he said, smiling, "So where did you get that?"

"Actually," said Noa, "I must confess, I made it for her. We treated a fabric vendor who gave us some material, because he knew I enjoyed sewing. And I thought that maybe it would cheer her up a bit."

Bya inhaled slowly and sighed.

"Noa, you have our deepest gratitude," he said, embracing the old woman gently.

"Oh, it was nothing," Noa said, blushing, "Now, off with you two. It is time for the fun to begin."

XXXXXXXXXX

"Renji," said Rukia, "are you coming?"

"Yeah," said the redhead, turning his eyes away from the red and orange sunset, "Sure, let's go."

They walked out of the small camp that Renji's search party had set up at the edge of town and walked through the twisting streets to the large town square. Each carried a sack of donated clothes, which they took to the distribution kiosk that had been set up for the solstice party. They left the kiosk and walked in the direction of the music that was playing.

"It's good to see people smiling around here," Rukia commented, watching a group of children playing tag in a nearby field.

"Mmmm…" said the redhead, distractedly.

He gazed quietly at the couples in the dance area, remembering…

"_A-abarai, what are you doing?"_

"_I'm taking my lover onto the dance floor, that's what I'm doing," he said, smiling at the curious expression on Byakuya's face._

_The noble frowned and his eyes flared._

"_I told you I don't dance in public, ever!"_

_He wrapped an arm around the noble's slim waist, took his hand, and pressed his lips to a pale ear._

"_Shut up and just go with it. This is Inuzuri and no one knows you here. You can stop being all uptight and relax a little. Come on, now. Trust me."_

"_Fine," the noble snapped, "but if anyone from the Seireitei does recognize us, I am taking you out to Soukyoku hill and killing you immediately!"_

A moment later, his breath was taken away as his reluctant partner began to move with him. A few steps further on, he pulled back slightly to meet Byakuya's narrowed eyes.

"Don't say it, Abarai!" he hissed warningly.

"If you don't dance, then how come you know the steps?" he asked, staring.

"I didn't say I didn't know how. I only said I don't dance in public."

"Renji, look, it's Bya and Emiko," said Rukia, pointing towards the dance area.

Renji's eyes found the two and he started to smile, but a moment later, the smile faded and his eyes grew sad. He swallowed hard and tightened his lips reflexively against the ache that rose up inside. He realized then that Rukia was staring at him.

"What is it?" she asked, taking his hand.

"Ah…um, nothing," he stammered, blinking a stubborn tear away, "It's just…I didn't know they still had…I mean…I knew, but I wasn't expecting…"

"Renji, you're not making any sense. Tell me what's wrong with you. You've been acting weird all day!"

He opened his mouth to say more, but stopped as the song the musicians were playing ended and the singer began to speak.

"This next one is a classic, going out to Emiko, who is with us and celebrating her sixth birthday today. The band played the birthday song and the ones gathered sang along, then the next song began. Renji bit his lower lip, remembering as he watched Bya and Emiko dance to the slow ballad.

"Renji, will you please tell me what's wrong? You look awful," Rukia said, taking his hand.

"Nothing. It's just, I was surprised because that kimono he's wearing…it's one that Byakuya bought when we came down here a couple years ago. He didn't want anyone to know we were seeing each other, so we bought a couple of inexpensive kimonos and just tried to blend in with everyone else. He must have left it at Michio and Noa's that night when he was injured."

"I don't remember this at all," said Rukia, "But then, Byakuya was very careful about his private life. I'm sure you know more about my brother than I ever will."

She sighed and leaned against the redhead, watching Bya and Emiko.

"They look cute together," she commented, "And that song…"

"All That We Need," Renji said absently, "For some reason, he always stopped and listened when he would hear it anywhere. He never explained, but I got the idea that it was special to him somehow."

Rukia smiled at him bracingly.

"All right," she said sternly, "You need to stop over-thinking all of this and just enjoy tonight. Go over there and visit with them. That's why you came, right?"

She started to say more, but was interrupted by the arrival of a hell butterfly.

"Oh, darn it," she said, frowning, "I have to go. I'll try to come back later, okay? Now, go on over and be friendly."

Renji watched her leave, then turned back to watch Emiko and Bya. As he did, his eye caught sight of a familiar man standing with several others near the dance area. He frowned, trying to remember where he had seen the man before, but was distracted as Emiko suddenly spotted him and called his name.

"Renji!" she cried excitedly, "Bya, look. It's Renji."

The girl tugged Bya's hand, leading him to where Renji stood, just outside the dancing area.

"I thought Michio said he wouldn't be up to dancing," Renji said, pretending to frown.

"I'm a quick healer," Bya said, smiling briefly.

"And we're only doing slow dances," Emiko added.

"Ah, I see," said the redhead, smiling.

He reached into his pocket and pulled out a pink hair tie.

"I heard it was your birthday," he said, offering it to Emiko.

"That's so pretty! Thank you, Renji!" the girl said excitedly.

Renji laughed softly as Emiko gathered some of the hairs on top and made a ponytail that hung down the back of the rest of her hair.

"It looks great," said Renji, "Now, can I dance with the birthday girl?"

Bya nodded and Emiko took Renji's hand.

"I hope you don't mind me borrowing her?" Renji asked.

Bya gave him another brief smile and a gentle shake of his head, then stood back to watch.

"She's cute," said a man's voice behind Bya, "You adopt each other?"

Bya's eyes narrowed and he frowned at the man.

"What do you want?" he asked quietly, "I told you that I'm not interested in…"

"Hey," said Toru, "Look, I want to apologize for acting the way I did before. I, ah…I'd had way too much to drink and I, uh…well, I was out of line, so, look, I'm sorry."

Bya studied his face carefully for signs of deception.

"I'm a pretty wicked drunk," Toru went on, "but I don't mean it. And I don't mean to bother you or nothing, but I want to make up for it. I was thinking I could help you find a job."

"I accept your apology," Bya said, glancing back at Renji and Emiko, "but we are fine."

"Oh, you found work already?" the man asked curiously.

"I am still healing, but I will find something on my own. Thank you for offering, however."

"Is this guy bugging you, Bya?" Renji asked suddenly.

Toru's eyes widened.

"Oh, hey, I was just apologizing for before."

"Good," said Renji, his eyes glowing softly, "Now, clear out."

He stepped past Bya as Emiko ran up to him and pulled him towards the dance area. Renji glared at the man and moved in closer.

"Listen to me," he said, raising his reiatsu warningly, "That man and the girl are under my protection. You hurt either one of them and you won't know what hit you. Believe me, I will be having them watched."

"What's your interest in them?" Toru asked, "They're just street rats like the rest of us, ne?"

"They're friends. Now, get out of here."

Renji watched as the man turned away and left with the men he had been standing with.

"Renji, come and dance with us!" Emiko called.

Renji walked out to them and stopped in front of Bya. Bya lifted Emiko, who reached an arm around each of them as they faced each other. Renji slipped an arm around Bya's waist and a moment later, a pale hand came to rest on his other shoulder.

"What did you say to Toru?" asked Bya as they started to move.

"I told him to leave you alone," Renji said, meeting Bya's eyes, "The guy's a creep. You should stay away from him."

"I don't plan to seek his company any time soon," Bya assured him, "Even though he apologized, I know he's not a person one should trust. I may have lost my memories, Renji, but I am not naïve."

"That's good to know," Renji answered, turning them in a slow circle, "Look, I have to go back to the Seireitei in the morning. You two are still staying with Michio and Noa for a few more days, right?"

Bya nodded.

"Michio insisted, because I was still having some dizziness. We'll move out to the cave after he feels I've healed enough. I will be going out tomorrow with Emiko to clean it up a bit in preparation for our move. Why?"

"Ah, I don't know," Renji admitted, coloring slightly.

Emiko giggled.

"Why don't you just _tell_ Bya you like him? I think he'll like you back!"

"Emiko, that's not polite," Bya said quietly, "Besides, Renji is a Gotei 13 captain. He hasn't time to squander on such things. In any case, isn't he Rukia's boyfriend?"

Renji laughed.

"Rukia's like my own sister," Renji corrected him, "But before he got called off to marry Princess Eri, I was seeing Rukia's brother, Byakuya."

"The one you are looking for?" Bya asked.

"Yeah, that guy."

Bya's eyes softened.

"I think I understand," he said, meeting Renji's eyes again, "I remind you of your friend, so you feel protective, is that it?"

"Ah…uh, well, yeah, I don't know exactly," Renji said, blushing furiously, "Things are kinda confusing right now."

"Renji," said Bya calmly, "It's fine. I'm not asking you for anything. I will certainly welcome sharing your company when you come into town. I don't expect more than that. It seems that you are conflicted, and I would not want to confuse things even more."

Renji stared and swallowed nervously. Emiko giggled again.

"I think he just told you he likes you too," she said, dropping to the ground and scampering off to meet Noa.

Renji looked down, realizing his arm was still wrapped around Bya. He removed it and stepped back.

"Well, it was nice seeing you and Emiko again," he said, smiling, "I come here every so often with Rukia. We used to live here and we come back to bring clothes and things for the street kids."

"That's good of you," Bya said, smiling, "I hope that Emiko and I will see you again soon, then."

"Yeah, me too. Nice meeting you, Bya. Take care."

Renji flash stepped away and returned to the shinigami camp, still smiling and blushing. Toru watched quietly from a distance as Bya and Emiko joined Michio and Noa, and walked back towards the healers' home.


	5. Cautious Footsteps

**Chapter 5: Cautious Footsteps**

**XXXXXXXXXX**

**_No matter how lightly I tread, your heavier steps follow mine. Stalking ever closer, you offer a friendly face, a peaceful hand, all the while, you seek only to pull me down into the dark place you come from._**

**XXXXXXXXXX**

"Welcome back, Captain Abarai," the captain commander said cordially as Renji entered his chambers and knelt in front of him to make his report, "I have been waiting anxiously to hear if anything was found."

"Sir, we performed careful searches of each section of the Rukongai, and we questioned numerous people, but we found no sign of Kuchiki Byakuya there. We also sensed a weak reiatsu signature, but when we tried to hone in on the signal, it faded. I do not know if that simply means that it was left at an earlier time, or if perhaps it might be a decoy of some kind. Gomen nasai, sir. We really did give this our best."

The head captain nodded.

"I am certain that you did. I know that despite his being chosen to wed the princess and the discomfort it has to have caused you, there is no one more invested in Kuchiki Byakuya's safety than you."

Renji blinked back the sudden emotion that rose inside and nodded silently.

"I admit I was hurt by his leaving. I was angry. But sir, I would not want anything bad to happen to him."

"I believe you. And because of that, I am making this your personal mission. I am placing your division on Rukon area detail indefinitely. You are to keep rotating patrols within those districts to keep the peace. And as they do, you will order them to remain vigilant and to report anything they learn, no matter how insignificant it seems."

"Yes, sir."

Renji looked up at his superior officer questioningly.

"Sir…if I might ask. Why do you seem so invested in Byakuya's fate? I know he is a former captain, but…"

"My family has a long history with the Kuchiki clan. And Byakuya's grandfather is my best friend. Ginrei serves in the spirit dimension as Captain of the Royal Guard now and we rarely have the chance to speak to each other, but I would not allow the disappearance of my old friend's grandson go unsolved. That is why I am counting on you to find him. If he is being held captive, then you must free him. If he has been killed, you must bring him back for proper burial. And Captain Abarai, if it turns out that he ran from his marriage to the princess, then I charge you with bringing the man to his senses, so that he does not disgrace himself and his family. Do you understand?"

Renji's eyes grew sad and he nodded silently.

"Very well, then go and set up those rotating patrols, immediately."

"Yes, sir!"

XXXXXXXXXX

Bya stood quietly at Emiko's side as she gazed at the burned out group of cottages in front of them and gripped his hand more tightly.

"The one farthest back was ours," she said softly, "We cleaned every day and we grew wildflowers in the yard, because we would go and gather seeds from the open fields. We got two apple trees and two orange trees to grow and we would trade with other families for other things they would grow or make. We all knew each other."

She stood silently for a few minutes, listening to the wind in the burned and dying trees.

"When the hollows attacked, I was in the apple tree. Papa lifted me up to get an apple and I grabbed onto a branch and climbed up to sit there. He made sure Mama didn't see, because she was scared I would fall. But I knew to hang down and drop. I was about to, when Papa turned around and looked at something, then he told me to stay there, and he ran back to the house for Mama. I heard them scream and the hollows roaring at them."

Her voice dropped to a whisper and Bya knelt next to her and slipped his arms around her.

"They tried to hide in the houses, but the hollows attacked and set everything on fire until even the trees started to burn. Then, they turned around and looked at something behind them. There were two shinigamis. I don't know who they were. But they killed the hollows and then tried to get people out of the houses. I jumped out of the tree and ran into my house, but everything was on fire, and I couldn't breathe. One of the shinigamis came into the house after me and grabbed me to take me back out. But the house started to fall on us. The other shinigami came and pulled us out before we were burned up, but I was unconscious. I don't remember that. I just remember waking up…and Noa hugging me a lot and telling me I would be all right, and not to worry about anything. They were afraid to tell me about my parents, but they didn't know that…before the house fell…I saw them. They were in the part of the house that fell and burned and they weren't moving and they had blood on them."

Bya pulled Emiko close and let her head rest on his shoulder. As he held her and she loosed her sadness in soft, quiet sobs, something rose up in his mind.

"_Pull back! The Captain wants us to hold here."_

_Gentle dark eyes met his and a hand touched his shoulder._

"_Wait here with the support group."_

"_But I want to go with you, Dad!" he objected, "I am a seated officer too! I can fight."_

"_But I am his vice captain. It is my duty to protect him, and that is what I will do. Be patient, segare, the time for you to join the battle will come."_

_He watched the graceful, slender man turn away and felt an ache open up inside him. As his father disappeared into the valley below them, the sky opened up and filled with hollows. Seeing the danger, he shouted a warning and ran in the direction his father had gone, drawing his zanpakutou. His mind disappeared into the fighting as he fired his small body through the hollows, his kido throwing them aside and opening the way. Frantically, he fought his way forward, his eyes seeking that one familiar form. He wasn't prepared when it suddenly went silent around him…when he flash stepped down off of a sharp slope and slid to a stop in front of his kneeling captain. The old man's eyes rose and met his, and then he saw who it was, resting motionless in the captain's arms. The gentle eyes met his one last time as he dropped to his knees and bent close._

"Do not cry, segare," he whispered, "My love is with you always. Do not be afraid of death when it approaches. It takes us, but gently and moves us forward. And to hide from our fate, even if our fate is death, is to be left standing still on the pathway. We will be together again..."

"Bya, are you okay?" Emiko asked, pulling him out of the memory, "Bya?"

He forced a smile.

"I am all right," he assured her, "and why are _you_ asking _me _that question? You are having to cope with losing your parents so recently. Do not concern yourself with me, child. I should be offering you comfort."

Emiko rubbed her damp eyes and blinked away the last of the tears.

"If we're both feeling bad, then we should comfort each other," she corrected him, "That's what my mom said."

"Your mom was a very wise woman…and she has a very wise daughter. Come, Emiko, it is time to go and settle into our new home."

Emiko giggled.

"A cave makes a funny home," she commented, "but our cave will be special, once we fix it up."

"It will take a lot of work, but you and I are strong. We will have it fixed up in no time."

They walked past the burned out houses and continued out into the plains, then turned towards the river. As they reached it, they spotted a man sitting on the riverbank fishing. A moment later, Bya realized that it was Toru.

"Well," he said in a friendly voice, "Bya and Emiko. It is nice to see you two."

"Good morning Toru," Bya said quietly as Emiko ducked behind him.

"What brings you two out this way?" the brothel owner asked cordially.

"We were stretching our legs," Bya answered, giving Emiko a short look of warning.

"Ah, and I was relaxing and fishing, something us business owners don't often get to do. I actually managed to catch a few fish. Why don't you join me for lunch?"

"Gomen nasai," said Bya politely, "We have to refuse this time. We have already made plans for lunch."

"I see," said Toru, "Noa is a very good cook. I cannot imagine my cooking will be so good as hers. You are fortunate."

"We are," Bya agreed.

"Well," said Toru, smiling, "I have to be off. I have to get these beauties back to where I can cook them on my stove. Better spices at home too."

"Good day, then," Bya said, nodding.

They watched in silence as the brothel owner meandered away. Emiko waited until he was out of hearing, then looked up at Bya.

"That man scares me," she admitted softly.

"Emiko," Bya said, dropping to his knees on the riverbank, "When a person makes you feel uncomfortable, you should trust your instincts. Toru is not a friend. He tries to sound like one, but you should not trust him. Do not ever go anywhere alone with him. Do you understand?"

"Hai," the girl said, nodding.

"And after we have cleaned our new home and had lunch, I will begin to teach you some things you can do if someone tries to bother you."

"You mean like fighting?" she asked curiously.

"Well," said Bya, "As a rule, I think you should avoid fighting if you can. But yes, I will start teaching you some fighting skills. If you are going to be a shinigami someday, even if you are a healer, you must learn to fight, so that you will not be hurt while you are out healing fighters on the battlefront."

"How do you know about shinigamis and fighting?" Emiko asked suddenly.

Bya frowned thoughtfully.

"I'm not sure," he sighed, "I don't remember how I learned it. I just know it."

They left the river and followed the trail to the end, then left it to venture out to the cave. They slipped inside, blinking as their eyes adjusted, then Emiko gasped in surprise and Bya's eyes widened.

"D-did…someone move in here while we were gone?" Emiko asked.

Bya blinked and stared at the cleanly swept ground, the cooking utensils, large pot, pan and kettle. In the back of the cave were two privacy screens and two small sleeping pads with sheets and blankets already on them. At the end of the smaller mat was a small tub with several books and toys inside. A large stuffed rabbit sat on the smaller bed as well. Between the beds, a bar had been set in the wall and hangers on the bar held several yukatas and a kimono in each of their sizes. Another shadowed corner held a small supply of beans, rice and potatoes, several kinds of seeds and two fishing poles.

"You don't think it was that man, Toru?" Emiko asked, looking worried, "Does he know we are going to live here?"

"I don't think so," said Bya, "But I do think it's a little too much of a coincidence that these things look made for us, ne? I think I have a suspicion."

He noticed a slip of paper on a low table near the stove.

_"Dear Bya and Emiko, we just wanted to make sure that the two of you got off to a good start in your new home. These things should see you through the winter, and the seeds can help you grow some of your own food in the spring. We hope to see you soon for a visit. Love, Rukia and Renji."_

Emiko giggled.

"I told you Renji likes you!" she laughed, "When someone is talking to you and their face turns pink, you know they like you!"

"Emiko, hold your tongue!" Bya said with mock sternness, "Renji is a good friend…as is Rukia. When they come back, we will be sure to thank them. In the mean time, I think we should eat the lunch that Noa packed for us. I will start a fire and make some tea. You can take our lunch out of the basket and put it on our plates there on the table."

"Okay, Bya," the girl said, taking the basket from him and carrying it to the table.

XXXXXXXXXX

Renji sighed and leaned back in his chair and closed his eyes for a moment. If he used his imagination, it almost felt like he was in his vice captain's chair, back in the sixth division. And as much as he wanted to regret the steps that he and Byakuya had taken together in that place, he knew that if given a chance to go back in time, he would do it in a heartbeat…

_Waves of boredom swept over him as he sat staring at, and then signing off on report after report. A few times, he started to drop off with a report in his hand. He would feel his head droop and his eyes roll and would come awake with a jolt. It was during one of these 'drop offs' that his captain happened to get up from his chair to drop some pages into his inbox and to pick up a few from his outbox. Byakuya paused for a moment, looking down at the half-dozing redhead and feeling an odd warmth inside, then with a sigh, he shifted back into 'captain' mode._

"_Abarai, is something wrong?"_

_He jumped awake and realized belatedly that he had dozed off while tilting his chair back, and when Byakuya woke him, the jolt of waking carried him over backwards and crashing onto the floor._

"_Dammit!" Renji yelled, "OW!"_

_He started to get up and to right his chair, but ended up tripping himself and falling forward into a surprised Byakuya's arms._

"_Ah, hell, sorry captain!" Renji sighed in frustration, "I don't know what's wrong with me today."_

"_No harm done," Byakuya said quietly, then he turned away._

_He took his seat again and tried to go back to work. He did concentrate better, but was distracted by memories of the noble inhaling sharply and catching him as he fell. He remembered looking up into that calm, quiet expression, and seeing that unusual, curiosity. And he wondered if it was his imagination or if Byakuya had bitten at his lip for a moment. He glanced over at Byakuya, just in time to see him look away. As he looked back at his work, he could just see out of the corner of his eye, the light blush on the noble's pale cheeks and throat._

_It was easier to stay awake after that. He enjoyed stealing glances at the noble as he worked and thinking about what he would do if only he was bold enough._

"_Not like it will ever happen," he whispered to himself._

"_Did you say something, Abarai?" Byakuya said, looking up at him questioningly._

"_N-no, nothing, Captain."_

_He looked back at his work, but noticed how Byakuya's eyes lingered on him. He watched Byakuya constantly after that, being careful to get his work done, of course, but carefully watching and reading those quiet, pale features._

"_I think there's definitely something there," he told himself._

"And there was," Renji whispered, opening his eyes to make the images go away, "There was so much beneath that calm, quiet surface. I never met anybody like you, Byakuya. And even if I can't have you, I just need to know you're okay. Wherever you are, I hope you're warm, that you have enough of what you need, and that you don't have to feel that awful loneliness you used to. You said that I took that loneliness away. If I can't do that anymore, I really hope there's someone else who can. Kami, I miss you…"

Renji brushed the tears from his eyes, gathered himself and threw himself into his work.

XXXXXXXXXX

"The stars are so bright out here!" whispered Emiko.

She turned her head to look at Bya, who was lying on his back next to her with the back of his head resting on his hands.

"There aren't so many lights to hide them. You can see more of the constellations."

"It's really pretty. I'm glad we live in such a pretty place."

She sat up and Bya sat up with her.

"Arigato, Bya," she said softly, her eyes filling with tears, "I don't think anybody would have wanted to take care of me if you hadn't been there. I was really sad and scared when my parents died. I still am sad, but I'm not scared anymore. As long as you are here, everything will be okay."

Bya leaned forward and kissed her on top of her head.

"I will always be here for you," he said softly.

"You shouldn't say something like that, Bya," the girl said in a sad, sleepy voice, "My parents said that…and they died anyway."

Bya smiled sadly back at her.

"I know it makes you feel like you will lose others, but you must try to remain hopeful."

"But there are so many things that can hurt me. I'm scared a lot of the time."

Bya sighed and nodded.

"Me too. But we just have to do the best we can. I will take care of you. I will help you to grow up strong, so that you can protect yourself and others, weaker than you. And the bigger and the more learned you get, the less things there are that can hurt you. You will be all right. Come Emiko, it is past your bedtime."

The red-haired girl stood and took a last look up at the sky. As she did, a star shot across the night sky. Emiko caught her breath.

"Did you make a wish?" she asked Bya.

"Yes, did you?"

"Mmhmm. I think I know what you wished for," the girl said.

"What's that?"

"Hmmm, something sensible, like that we will have enough food or something."

"Oh? And what did you wish for?" Bya asked, smiling.

"I wished for Rukia and Renji to come back," the girl said, turning towards the cave, "I like them. They are good friends."

"Yes," said Bya, taking a last look up at the stars, "They are."

"Can you tell me something?" asked Emiko.

"What?" Bya queried, looking down at her.

"_Do_ you like Renji?"

Bya chuckled softly.

"Yes, I do. He is a good friend."

"No, I mean do you _like_ like him!"

Bya frowned at her.

"What a thing to ask," he said, reprovingly, "You stop meddling and go to bed!"

He followed as she giggled and crawled back into the cave. He tucked her into bed, then slipped into his own bed and closed his eyes. But even once he fell asleep, he found himself thinking of Renji.

_I wonder why…_


	6. Manipulations

**Chapter 6: Manipulations**

**(Warning…This chapter includes consensual sex between a male character and a legal aged, but younger male, as well as some violence at the end. Just don't want to shock anyone. It is included because of its importance to the storyline. Things will lighten up again in the next chapter.)**

**XXXXXXXXXX**

_**Most eyes are the windows to the soul, but your eyes are deeply shaded. They show only what you mean to reveal, and the rest is an abyss. I do not lean close to study them for fear of falling inside.**_

**XXXXXXXXXX**

Bya looked up in surprise as Emiko approached the vegetable garden where he sat mending the broken fence. Noa walked on one side of the girl, holding her hand and talking over her to Toru, who stood on the other side. The two were frowning and looked unnerved about something. Emiko's eyes were wide and frightened.

"Emiko?" Bya queried, "Why have you come home early from school? Did something happen?"

"Hollows," said Toru in a low voice, "I was nearby and felt their presence, so I went to the school and found that they had attacked."

"Emiko," said Bya quickly, "Are you all right?"

The girl sniffed and nodded.

"She has good fighting skills," noted Toru, "Unfortunately, I can't say the same for the teacher and the other students."

He broke off as Emiko started to cry and burrowed her face into Noa's skirt so that she wouldn't have to hear.

"Emiko," Bya said gently, "Go on inside with Noa and help her make some tea."

The two men watched as the old woman and the child disappeared into the cave. When he was sure that the two were out of hearing, Toru continued.

"The teacher was killed, as were three of the children."

Bya closed his eyes against the news and worry for Emiko flooded him inside.

"Emiko managed to get free of them…and Bya, she saved the rest of the children by evacuating them as the hollows were devouring the ones they killed. She is a very bright child.

"That is why I was so encouraged when the school opened. There are so few opportunities for the children to learn here. I can teach her here, but I am overwhelmed with just trying to provide food for us."

"Yeah," Toru said, frowning sympathetically, "You're great at making things grow, Bya, but it seems something always happens. Animals breaking the fences and eating the crops, thieves, bad weather…oh, and the fact that you would rather give it away than sell it when you do have enough."

"I only gave some away to the street children. You know how difficult it is for them."

"Yes, and the little thieves thanked you by stealing more from you and leaving you without enough for you and Emiko."

"I do not worry for myself," said Bya, turning his attention back to the fence, "My reiatsu is so low that I hardly require food. But Emiko is talented. She will be a shinigami someday. I have to make sure she keeps up her strength by eating enough."

Toru laughed sadly.

"But she is just like you. When she goes to school, you know that she ends up giving away a good portion of what you send with her. She cannot look at another person suffering and hold herself back."

Despite his concerns, the words made Bya's lips curve upward.

"She has a good heart."

"But a good heart isn't going to keep her strong, Bya," Toru said, shaking his head, "You need to have a steady source of food. And what you have here isn't enough."

Toru bit his lip softly.

"Could you ask your friends Renji and Rukia for help?"

He concealed a smile at the other man's lowered eyes and quiet response.

Renji was injured in a skirmish at the Hueco Mundo shinigami base. He was left unconscious and Rukia is caring for him. She comes now and then, but she is so worried about Renji that I cannot ask her for anything. Besides, I need to do this on my own. I have to be strong and resourceful enough to take care of Emiko. She is my responsibility."

Toru blinked slowly and sat down next to him. Bya took an uncomfortable breath at his closeness, but only continued to work on the fence.

"Bya, I know that you said that you wouldn't. I respect that decision. But if things come to the point where it will affect her health, you may want to consider a short term stay at my brothel. Don't say it. I know you don't want to…but you're being a little naïve. Look, life is very difficult here…and sometimes you get down to the last of your options. Like it or not, a lot of people need to resort to using what they _do_ have to get by."

Bya shivered as Toru's hand touched his cheek lightly.

"My business is clean. I take only a small percentage to pay for overhead and to make my own living. I get a lot of men from the better districts because I keep my building up, have good security and know how to keep my mouth shut. It wouldn't be like the other places. And as attractive as you are, you would only have to work a few nights to earn enough for a whole season. Emiko could stay with the healer and his wife, and you could just tell her you were going out of town. She would never have to know."

"Toru…"

"I know you don't want to, and I won't push anymore, but Bya, if the situation becomes any worse, you need to think about your options. You are running out of them. You have been here for more than nine months and you are barely making ends meet. So look, please forgive me for pressuring you. I just worry for you and Emiko."

"I know, and I appreciate that. But I cannot do something like that. I know it sounds like having too much pride, but…I don't mean it that way."

"No, I know that."

Toru was quiet for a moment.

"There may be something else that could help."

He paused and took a breath.

"I am not a rich man, but I could afford to…"

"No Toru, I told you. I have to take care of Emiko. I cannot depend on you, because you are struggling too."

"Bya, I wasn't offering you charity," the man said haltingly, "I was offering you and Emiko a home…with me."

He sighed softly and touched Bya's hair gently.

"You know how I feel about you," he said quietly, "You are a beautiful man. And we have been friends for some time. If you want to do this honorably, we can marry and I can buy us a small house to live in together. You wouldn't have to live at the brothel. And we would take care of each other."

He leaned forward and brought his lips slowly to Bya's, kissing him once, then again, while looking into the dark, conflicted eyes.

"No," said Bya, pulling away, "I am sorry. You have been good to us, Toru. But don't you understand? I am not in love with you. To pretend to be…to use you like that would be wrong. I cannot do that. You know I can't."

Toru took a disturbed breath.

"Still dreaming that Prince Renji will come back and take you away from all of this, Bya?" he asked softly, "I don't mean to be cruel, but let me tell you about the way the world works. Renji is a Gotei 13 captain. You are a powerless peasant in the worst part of the Rukongai. What could you possibly have that a man like him would want? Think about it. You talk about not wanting to have to resort to selling your body to make a living? If Renji did come to take you away, wouldn't that really be the reason why? I mean…that is the only thing you have that Renji would want, ne? We only dress up the truth when we try to call it something different. I know you think I am wrong, that there is more, but wasn't it you who told me that you thought he noticed you because you looked like his missing former lover? His love for that other man hasn't faded. He is fighting it. And…just maybe, that is why his 'recovery' is taking so long, ne?"

Bya looked away and said nothing. Toru sighed heavily.

"There, I've gone and upset you. I am sorry. I didn't mean anything by it. I just don't want to see you torment yourself over this. Let's leave this for now. I am sure that the tea is ready. And Emiko needs your attention. Today has been difficult for you."

Bya rose and turned towards the cave.

"Will you be staying for tea?" he asked quietly.

"No, I am sorry. I can't."

Bya lowered his eyes.

"Because I have angered you?" he asked.

"No, Bya, you haven't made me angry. You were honest with me. That was difficult for you. I am not offended. I merely have to go back to town because I am helping to make repairs to the school building. Unfortunately, with no teacher, I don't know what use it is."

He shook his head and started to walk away. Bya watched solemnly, then caught his breath softly.

"Toru?"

The brothel owner stopped with his back to the other man, and a sly smile on his lips.

"Yes?"

"Do you think the ones who fund the school would consider me for the teaching position? I may not have my memory, but I haven't lost my academic knowledge."

Toru turned to look at him, tilting his head slightly.

"You also have good survival skills," he commented, "That would be good for the other orphans and street kids to learn. Well…I am on the committee that decides such things. I will see what they say. And something I can do without asking is to make you an interim teacher. They don't have to be approved. It's less money, and it would mean that you would need to move into town and live at the school until we decide on the permanent teacher."

"But it is a job," Bya said, nodding, "and it will help me to provide for Emiko."

"Very well, then. Talk it over with Emiko and let me know in the morning. If you accept, I can help you move what you need into the schoolhouse. There is a small living quarters in back. There are a few things there that the last teacher left behind. You are welcome to them. Just…let me know."

Bya stood, silently watching as the brothel owner walked away.

XXXXXXXXXX

Toru turned out of the trees and onto the edge of the plains. He grinned slyly as a group of ragged children approached him cautiously. The oldest boy looked up at him warily.

"Good job," he commented, "I want you to keep raiding the gardens. He's too damned good at getting things to grow to replace what's taken, so do some damage…quietly. Just, be sure you do not harm either of them. They are mine."

He threw a small bag of coins to the boy and scanned the group. His eye fell on an older youth with large, gray eyes, long black hair and a slender build.

"You," he said quietly, "You come with me."

He glanced back at the others as he walked away with the nervous youth at his side.

"Don't worry," he told the youth, "I'll send you back to them in the morning, and if you please me, I will give you something for it."

"Yes, Toru-san," the boy said in a soft voice, "Thank you for helping us."

"You are welcome…Bya."

"S-sir, my name is…"

Toru pulled him off the trail and into a small area behind the bushes.

"While you are with me, your name will be Bya. Do you understand?" he asked.

The youth nodded.

"I assume you are of legal age?" he asked.

"Yes, sir. I am nineteen."

"Good. I don't do it with children. Have you been taken?"

"No, sir."

"Also good," Toru said, loosening his clothing, then opening the youth's yukata.

He gazed at the smudged, pale flesh hungrily.

"You are lovely," he commented, "A bit on the thin side, but with proper care, you could be useful. Do you mind letting men fuck you?"

"If they pay for it and it helps me stay alive, then I will do it, sir," the youth answered, "My sister and I are just trying to stay alive."

"And you are a good brother to work so hard to take care of the two of you. Your sister is younger, ne?"

"Hai, she is only fifteen."

"But in a few years, she will be old enough. I will help her too, if she is pretty like you, and if you work to keep her well fed, ne?"

"I will, sir," the youth promised.

"Very well, lie back. Here," he said, handing the boy his pack, "Lean back against this and open your legs. I want to look at you."

The youth shivered nervously under Toru's cold eyes, but forced himself to remain still as the man's eyes roamed over his body.

"Tilt your head back a bit more."

He moved forward and leaned over the youth.

"The first time doesn't have to be painful. I will be gentle with you. Don't worry."

The youth swallowed hard and nodded briefly, trembling softly as the older man's hands ran down his body and the rough lips claimed his.

"Mmm, Bya…" Toru moaned, "You are so soft. I do not know if I should do this. I may not be able to resist devouring you."

"That is all right, Toru-san," the youth panted as the man's hungry mouth kissed its way down his throat and chest.

He ran his tongue along the younger man's flesh and watched the strong reaction in his body.

"You weren't lying about it being your first time," Toru whispered, "Many of you street kids do…"

"I was telling the truth," the youth said breathlessly as Toru descended on him.

He fed the younger man hard, deep kisses, caressing him all over, and rubbing their bodies together.

"I shouldn't do this," panted Toru, "They like it better if you've never been taken, but when the first one asks, you will tell him you are pure, ne? You won't tell him about this?"

"No," moaned the youth, "I work for you. I will do as you ask."

"Good," Toru said, slowly preparing him.

He turned the young man onto his stomach and lowered himself onto the slender white back, breathing slowly to keep his control.

"I've wanted you for a long time, Bya," he whispered, his eyes glazing over.

"I belong to you now," replied the youth.

"Yes…yes, you are mine."

He entered the pale body beneath his slowly.

"It isn't too uncomfortable, ne?" he asked.

"No. Just a little."

The youth flinched as he pushed in harder, groaning with the effort to hold back. He burrowed into the dark hair and licked the youth's throat. His breath quickened and his eyes began to glow a soft red. He began thrusting, moaning with delight as the slender white hips pushed up into his. He thrust harder, fighting with himself to maintain control, but was overwhelmed as the soft, attractive form beneath him began to look more and more like the man he wanted so badly. He shifted to change the angle of his thrusts and turned the youth's head so their mouths met as the body underneath him seized with pleasure. He devoured the youth's cries of completion, feeling his restraint slip as his own climax began.

"Bya…" he moaned roughly, "Ah…gods, Bya!"

Red light blazed from his eyes and his body shimmered strangely as he the youth tightly and released violently. His groans of pleasure deepened into a growl. The youth beneath him made a sound of distress and turned his head to look at Toru more closely. His eyes flew open wide and he started to scream. The hollow that had been Toru dispatched him quickly, then took his time feeding until the youth's body faded away, and all that was left on the ground was his torn and ragged yukata.

The hollow glowed softly and slowly returned to Toru's form. He looked down at the yukata and shook his head.

"You shouldn't have looked."


	7. Approaching Storm

**Chapter 7: Approaching Storm**

**XXXXXXXXXX**

_**I seek the strength to stand on my own. Step by slow, struggling step, I make my way forward. When I fall, do not carry me. Only set me on my feet and encourage me to move forward again.**_

**XXXXXXXXXX**

"Are you sure you should be going so far so soon after being released from the healing center?" Rukia asked as she followed Renji through the Seireitei gates and out into the Rukongai, "Your reiatsu is still kind of low."

"Don't worry about it," the redhead assured her, smiling through the aches in his tall form, "I have to build up my strength. Besides, I know even though you wouldn't tell me everything that things have gotten bad for Bya and Emiko. Every time I asked you about them, your face changed. I need to get down there and make sure they're doing okay."

Rukia gave a soft, sad chuckle.

"Not like Bya would let you fix things for him anyway. He's very determined. But Renji, it just seems that no matter how smart and capable he is, things keep happening."

"Yeah," Renji replied, his eyes focused on the street ahead of them, "You told me that. And despite the fact that we both know the way things are in that place, it just seems a little too convenient that he continues to have these 'odd incidences' that keep throwing him off balance."  
"Hmmm…" mused Rukia, "I guess we'll find out when we get there, ne?"

She shook her head ruefully at Renji's grunted reply and flash stepped after him. Some time later, they reached the edge of Inuzuri and followed the road into town. They moved quickly through the twisting, narrow streets until they reached the other end of town.

"They moved into the schoolhouse a few weeks ago," Rukia explained, "Bya told me that he was taking a temporary job teaching the children, while the committee that oversees the school decides whether or not they might hire him permanently. He should have received word by now."

"I guess we'll find out," Renji said, flash stepping forward.

The stopped just outside the schoolyard fence, spotting a group of children gathered in the gardens around a man, who was kneeling on the ground and speaking to them quietly. A moment later, a happy squeal sounded and one of the children broke away from the group and ran to the fence to greet them.

"Rukia! Renji!" Emiko cried, "Bya look! It's Rukia and Renji!"

Bya looked up and smiled, then sent the group of children off to play. He climbed to his feet and joined them as Emiko opened the gate and let them into the schoolyard.

"Sorry if we interrupted," Rukia said softly, "We can come back later, if you like."

"No," said Bya, brushing the stray hairs away from his eyes and smiling, "I am glad to see you."

His eyes met Renji's warmly.

"Renji, I am very glad to see you on your feet again. Rukia told us about your injury. She said that it happened in Hueco Mundo."

"Yeah," Renji said, nodding, "It was stupid, really. I only accepted the assignment because there were rumors that Byakuya might be Sousuke Aizen's prisoner. I didn't wait for proper investigation. I just took the first assignment anywhere near there and broke orders to stay away from the fortress. I busted in with a rogue group."

"Did you find him?" Bya asked softly, "Or any sign he had been there."

"No," Renji said, his eyes darkening with pain, "We rescued a lot of prisoners, enough so that I wasn't punished when I got back home. But Byakuya wasn't there…and there was no sign he had been. I even cornered Gin and interrogated him…looked everywhere in that damned place. It was Aizen, himself, who finally brought me down. I lost it and screamed at him to tell me where he was hiding Byakuya. But I saw it in the man's face. He hadn't a clue where Byakuya is. No one does. I don't know that anyone ever will know what happened to him. His reiatsu disappeared a long time ago, and there's been no trace…just rumors."

Bya's softened eyes met his sympathetically.

"And you will never stop looking for him, I think," he said quietly.

Rukia gave Bya a sad smile.

"_We_ will never stop searching for him," she said, curling an arm around Renji's.

"Enough of that," Renji said, looking up at them, "I am through chasing ghosts. I'd like to hear more of how you and Emiko are doing. Should we wait at Michio's place until you are done?"

"No, there is no need. We were nearly finished with our lessons for the day, anyway. We were only going to do some kido practice. Perhaps you could stay and work with them on that. It is difficult for me to show them much of anything. Mostly, I explain and Emiko demonstrates."

"Sure," said Renji moving towards where the children were playing.

He watched, smiling as Bya called the children over, and the group immediately ran to him, flocking around him and observing Renji and Rukia with wide eyes.

"This is Renji Abarai," Bya told the children, "He is a captain of the Gotei 13, and his friend is Rukia Kuchiki. We are lucky enough to have them to give you your kido lesson. Now, if you will go over to the targets at the far end of the grounds, I think we can convince Renji to demonstrate how to use your kido for self defense."

"Is he going to show us what his zanpakutou does?"

"Can he blow up buildings?"

"Is that girl his girlfriend?

"He looks like a person-tiger!"

"Shut up! He'll blast you with his kido!"

"Children," said Bya, silencing them with nothing more than his cool tone and calm, expectant expression, "You must be quiet and respectful for the two shinigamis who are our guests today. As you know, our town faces many threats. And to keep ourselves and our loved ones safe, we must know what to do when there is trouble."

"Like helping the littlest kids?"

"And the big kids holding them off so the little ones get away?"  
"Like looking for weak spots?"

"And putting our power together to make a stronger attack?"

"And having a warning system?"

Renji narrowed his eyes.

"You taught them all of that?" he asked, tilting his head questioningly, "Where'd you get the strategic knowledge?"

"Oh, Renji," Bya said, flushing slightly, "Most of it is really common sense, ne?"

"Y-yeah," Renji said, a look of nostalgia entering his eyes for a moment, "I guess it is."

He turned his focus to the children. As he started to speak to them, Bya felt someone watching, and turned to see Toru standing just inside the fence. He forced down the odd chill that passed through him and greeted the brothel owner amiably.

"Toru," he said, following the man's eyes to Renji and the children.

"So, he finally returned, ne?" Toru said in a low tone, "You must be pleased."

"Toru, I…"

"I won't stay. I just came to tell you that the school committee approved you as the permanent teacher here. Bya, the amount they will pay you is enough to move you and Emiko to a better part of the Rukongai. You won't have to stay in Inuzuri."

Bya stared at the man in wonder.

"Toru…arigato, truly. I know that without your intervention…and your support with the committee, this wouldn't have been possible."

"Now, that's not necessarily true," Toru said, a flush rising on his skin, "I only told them the obvious things…that you work well with children, that you are intelligent and well educated, and that they wouldn't find one more qualified than you."

Toru sighed and closed his eyes.

"I knew you would find your way out of here, at some point. Bya, you are a very special person. It didn't take the committee long at all to come to that conclusion."

His eyes opened and fastened on Bya.

"I hope that even after you and Emiko relocate, that I will still see you when you come to teach."

"Again arigato Toru," Bya said, lowering his eyes, "This wouldn't have happened without you. I owe you for this, for helping me."

Toru smiled.

"Then will you do me one honor, Bya?" he asked, slipping a hand into Bya's and locking their eyes together, "Will you have dinner with me tonight?"

Bya glanced back at Renji and Rukia.

"T-tonight? But Renji and Rukia…"

"Bring them along. And bring Emiko as well."

"T-toru…Gomen nasai, I cannot accept. I have promised Michio and Noa that I would join them tonight. And Renji and Rukia will be there as well."

"Ah, I see."

"I am sorry. I do not mean to offend you."

Toru shook his head dismissively.

"Who can blame you?" he asked softly, "You are being pursued by that powerful, rich captain. Why would you lower yourself and consort with a lowly brothel owner, like me."

"It isn't like that…truly, Toru," Bya objected, "It's just that…it's been so long since Renji was here…"

"And because he finally found the time to grace you with his presence, you will not miss the chance to see him. I understand. In any case, I am always here."

"I know that," Bya said, meeting his eyes warily, "You have always been here, and you have always tried to help me."

"Which is more than he has done. He has had his focus on saving his former lover. And why shouldn't he? Byakuya Kuchiki was special to him. Why shouldn't Renji be concerned and try to find him?"

"Try to find him, yes. But Bya, you have to realize, he still loves Byakuya."

"He cannot have Byakuya. He knows that."

"Yes," agreed Toru, "which is why he seeks you. Bya, do you know how many men come to my brothel and ask for whores who look like the ones they loved?"

"Toru…don't say things like that, please."

"I don't mean to hurt you," the other man said quietly, "but you must see that he will only be using you to remind him of Byakuya."

Bya stood, spellbound as Toru moved closer.

"Sooner of later, he will take you to bed."

"Stop…"

"And when he does…as he takes you, he will see Byakuya."

"N-no, no. Renji is my friend. We aren't…I mean, he doesn't…"

"Of course he does," Toru breathed against the shell of an ear, "He yearns for what he cannot have anymore, and because Byakuya is no longer his, he will sate himself with you. He will feel guilty for that."

"Toru, you must stop…" Bya whispered, trying to push the other man away.

"And his guilt will make try even harder to hide the truth from you. But he won't be able to hide it forever. Sooner or later, he will realize how wrong it is to use you. He will tell you the devastating truth…"

"No…"

"And he _will_ break your heart. When that day comes, I hope you will come to your senses, that you will see where you have always belonged, whose heart has always been yours from the first day you arrived."

His lips met Bya's lingeringly and the entranced man felt Renji's eyes turn towards him. He lifted his eyes to the brothel owner's.

"I am sorry Toru. I never meant to hurt you. Honestly, I didn't. You have watched out for me and for Emiko. You have helped us through the difficulty. And you remain a close friend. But…"

"Stop there," Toru said, touching his lips with tightened fingers, "Say no more. I would not want you to say anything you would regret later on, when you realize I am right."

Toru disappeared in a flash step as Renji returned to him.

"Is, uh, everything all right?" the redhead asked, looking in the direction Toru had gone.

"Oh, yes," Bya said quietly, "Toru was just here to tell me that my job has become permanent."

"That's good," Renji said, smiling.

"Yes," Bya went on, "Emiko and I will be able to move out of Inuzuri soon. It won't take long at my higher wages for us to do that."

Renji's smile widened.

"That's great, Bya. I'm really glad for the two of you."

The two fell silent for a moment.

"So…" Renji went on as they watched the children file out of the schoolyard, "I noticed that you and Toru…seem somewhat closer."

Bya looked up into Renji's eyes questioningly.

"Is there…something wrong with that?" he asked softly.

"N-no," Renji said quickly, "I was just curious. Because, as I recall, the guy once tried to force you into entering his brothel. As I recall, I stopped him from trying to rape you."

His eyes narrowed.

"You haven't forgotten that, have you, Bya?"

Bya folded his arms across his chest, shivering softly.

"Toru did do those things," he admitted, "and I haven't forgotten them. But he apologized…and for the last nearly ten months the man has been nothing but kind to Emiko and me. Renji…he has helped me every time something has gone wrong. And when he could have tried to push me into his brothel, instead he helped me to repair what was broken, to replant what was lost, to keep my head above water. He helped me to get this job."

"And what does he want in return?" Renji asked in a low voice, "because to me, it looked like he was moving in. I saw him kiss you."

Bya lowered his eyes.

"Am I supposed to be alone for the rest of my life? To turn my back on someone who has been there for me?"

"Do you love him?"

Bya caught his breath softly.

"Well?"

"No."

"Then," Renji went on, slipping a hand beneath his chin and raising his eyes, "why are you letting him corner you? You know that's what he's doing, right?"

"Of course I do. Do you think I am stupid?"

"No, Bya, I don't. It's just…"

"I know what he wants. And I have resisted his advances for nearly a year while I have struggled to make ends meet on my own. But Renji, this is Inuzuri," Bya said, his eyes taking on a wounded look, "There are no fairy tale endings here. No one is going to come and take me away from here. So…I wonder. I wonder sometimes if imperfect love…if settling, is all I can hope for."

Renji smiled bracingly.

"Don't you dare settle for someone you don't love. I know you. I know you wouldn't be happy."

"Maybe not," Bya said softly, "but I could be content. And Emiko would always have what she needs…and it wouldn't have to be so difficult. I don't know, Renji. I don't know what's right anymore. I hold to my standards, my values, myself as best as I can, but no matter what I do, something always happens."

"Well," said Renji, "Things are going to be different now. You have a full time job, a home and soon you'll be able to move out of here. And there is something else you have."

Bya's brow furrowed questioningly.

"You have my friendship and Rukia's. I noticed that, not once during those difficult times did you ask us for anything."

"Renji, you weren't here. You were in the Seireitei, and you were consumed with finding Byakuya. I'm not complaining. You love him, and even if your love is in the past, you should honor it by trying to help him if he's in trouble. I didn't want to interfere with that. And then you were injured, and…"

"Well, I'm not injured now. I want you to remember this. The next time something happens and you need help, I want you to contact me. I want you to tell me. I know you are a proud person, and that you like to do things for yourself, but sometimes you need a hand with things. That's what Rukia and I are here for. We want to help. But you have to let us know when you need us."

He paused for a moment, searching for the right words.

"And one more thing," he said, bringing his face closer to Bya's, "Don't stop believing in love. Don't settle and don't let yourself be cornered. Love has a way of finding people unexpectedly. It will find you, too. I promise."

Bya sighed softly.

"Arigato, Renji. You are right, of course."

Renji smiled.

"Of course I am. Now, come on. Everyone's already left for Michio and Noa's. They're going to wonder where we are."

The two turned together and passed through the gate, then turned in the direction of the healer's home.

Behind them, Toru stepped out from behind a building, his eyes glowing red with hatred. He flash stepped to the edge of town, where he emitted a sharp whistling sound that made a large hollow appear.

"Arashi," he said softly, "I have a job for you. Tomorrow…I need you to make a storm."


	8. Storm

**Chapter 9: Storm**

**XXXXXXXXXX**

_**I never knew power until I learned the power of love. It travels through your eyes and into me, holding me on my feet as everything falls away. My eyes cannot cry as long as yours hold them captive, and my heart will not weep until you turn away…**_

**XXXXXXXXXX**

"Look here," Bya said, kneeling in the rich, dark soil, "These plants we started have taken root."

He looked up at the children who surrounded him as Renji watched from behind them.

"Now that they are settled in, it becomes important to tend them. We desire them for sustenance, and for them to nourish us, they must first be nourished. These plants, like all living things are capable of telling us what they need."

"They can talk?" asked a wide-eyed girl.

"In a manner of speaking, yes," Bya told them, "but instead of words, they tell us in other ways. Look at the way the plants are leaning. They are telling us that they crave light and warmth from the sun. And if they are not watered and given nutrients, they will begin to wither. Our bond with plants, like other living things can be strengthened…and when we learn to understand and provide what these living things need, they begin to trust us. And what you will see now is not magic, but simply what is possible as the lines of communication open and balances of give and take are achieved."

Renji's eyes narrowed and he moved closer as Bya placed his hands on the ground, encircling a tiny plant. He watched as pale light began to glow between the plant and the hands that tended it. The children leaned closer, watching as the plant fluttered softly, as if touched by the wind, and then began to grow.

"As I told you," Bya said softly, "This is not magic, nor is it shinigami power. All of us have the ability to improve our connections with all living things. That is all I have done."

He lifted his hands away and touched a rich, green leaf.

"This plant will grow more quickly and be more healthy for that I have fed the bond between us. I have shared something of myself and so it shares something of itself in return."

He gestured to a row of plants and motioned for the children to gather around them.

"I want each of you to interact with your plant. Focus and place your hands at the base, like this…then open yourself and let it connect with you."

Renji's lips frowned slightly as a memory returned to him.

_"Will you tell me something?" he asked, sliding a hand over Byakuya's naked hip and resting his face against the noble's, taking in the beautiful sights and smells of the gardens around them, "How is it that Kuchiki Manor gardens are more beautiful than any of the others I've ever seen? You must have the three world's best gardener."_

_He watched as several pink petals floated down to decorate his lover's pale skin. He picked one up and looked closely._

"_What? Do you have some secret?" he asked._

_Byakuya's eyes remained half-closed and dreamy and his fingers touched a tiny plant in the grass that looked as though it was about to flower._

"_It is no secret, really," he said quietly, "It is all in how we communicate with the life around us. Just as we have languages, so do all living things. My father created this garden, using his ability to do that…and I continue that tradition…and someday…"_

_He stopped and sat up, his eyes taking on a lost expression._

"_Well, someday, I must pass on that gift, so that the gardens that grow here will continue to flourish."_

_He wrapped his arms around the noble and kissed away the melancholy he sensed, but deep down, he understood. Because if they remained together and Byakuya never remarried…he would have no heir to pass his gift on to. And as much as Byakuya pretended that it didn't matter, at times like this, he thought that it really did._

"Renji?"

The redhead caught his breath, realizing suddenly that he hadn't even noticed when Bya had risen and come closer.

"Sorry," he mumbled, "Just got lost in my thoughts for a moment."

"Renji," Bya said, his voice carrying a note of concern, "Do you feel that?"

Renji met Bya's eyes and felt the sudden chill in the previously warm air. He looked up into the sky and caught his breath in surprise.

Above them, the sky was still blue and filled with puffy white clouds, but in the distance, black clouds were forming. They curled around each other, growing and swelling, then floated towards the town.

"What the hell?" Renji breathed as the sky slowly darkened over them and rain began to fall, "There's an odd reiatsu in this…like…like hollow reiatsu."

He turned to Bya, his eyes intense.

"Take the children inside. I'm going to go and check this out."

"Renji," Bya said quickly, "What's happening?"

"I've seen one of these before. It's a hollow that can cause storms. I have to get to it quickly before…"

"Go then," Bya said, his eyes calm and trusting, "I will take the children into the storm cellar and wait for you to return."

Renji nodded and flash stepped away. Bya turned to the children, who were just beginning to notice the light rain falling.

"Come, children," Bya said quietly, "We must go inside. It seems a sudden storm is coming."

Lightning flashed, making the younger children squeal in fright. Several seconds later, thunder rumbled loudly all around them. The rain began to come down harder.

"Come now, inside," he urged them, "We will go into the storm cellar until this is over."

He led them into the schoolhouse and to the back, where the living quarters were, then opened the door built into the ground and motioned for the children to go inside.

"Use kido to make light for yourselves," he told them, "and keep the door closed."

"But Bya, aren't you coming inside too?" asked Emiko, her voice trembling slightly.

"I will remain out here to watch the weather conditions," Bya explained, "Don't worry. I won't leave you."

He closed the door and walked back into the living area, sighing resignedly at the sight of water already leaking in in a few places. He moved things around in the living area, then out in the classroom, then looked out the window, listening to the heavy pounding of rain on the roof. Lightning flashed and thunder rattled the windows and thin walls. He heard screams coming from the storm cellar, then calm voices, settling the children who were afraid. The wind outside the schoolhouse rose to a howl and the wooden building shifted and creaked. Bya stepped back from the window and started towards the storm cellar, but stopped as the sound of a crying child reached his ears. He followed the sound to the playhouse in the carpeted area of the classroom and looked inside.

"Aika," he said softly, "Child, you need to be down in the storm cellar with the others."

"B-but the storm is so scary…and the cellar is dark."

"Come," Byakuya said, "The older children have made light using their kido."

He took her hand and the two started across the room. Halfway to the cellar, they froze as the wind rose into a roar and the schoolhouse rattled and groaned ominously. Bya grabbed Aika and ran towards the cellar door. Steps away from the door, the room exploded around them, and heavy wind and pelting rain and ice struck at them from all directions. Aika screamed, but the sound was nearly swallowed up by the raging wind and water. Bya dropped onto his hands and knees, holding the girl against him and crawled towards the cellar. He ignored the cold that tore through him, the sight of everything he and Emiko owned being picked up and tossed around, the sound of breaking glass and cracking boards. He struggled to keep moving forward, but every inch took huge amounts of strength. Aika sobbed against his chest, but the sound could no longer reach his ears. What was left of the schoolhouse groaned and cracked and began to collapse.

"N-no!" Bya gasped, watching in horror as wooden beams above them shattered and began to fall.

He forced Aika into a corner of the room and covered her body with his as debris rained down from above them. The girl's shrill screams rose above the sound of the storm as what was left of the schoolhouse came down on top of them.

XXXXXXXXXX

"Take that, you son of a bitch!" yelled Renji, sending the skeletal snake soaring towards the huge hollow that stood on the plains in front of him.

The creature turned and hurled a blast of wind, ice and rain at the shinigami, then its eyes flashed like lightning and its roar rumbled like thunder. It raised itself onto its hind legs and reached out to grab the snake as it closed in.

"Not on my watch!" Renji shouted, "Hikotsu taihou!"

Red fire blasted from the mouth of the snake and bore down on the hollow. But at the last moment, the beast flash stepped aside, and the skeletal snake screeched as it forced itself into a hard turn to avoid crashing down.

"Hado #31, Shakkahou!" Renji shouted, running forward.

As the wave of red kido blasts rained down on the howling hollow, the skeletal snake turned and again glowed with red fire. Again, as the snake closed in, the beast disappeared and reappeared next to the entrance to Inuzuri.

"No way!" Renji howled, "There's no way I'm lettin' you…"

He flash stepped madly and placed himself between the hollow and the town. The hollow paused, glaring down at him and conjuring flashes of electricity on its large black claws. A blast of yellow light erupted from the beast's claws and shot towards Renji. The redhead raised a shield, but screamed in pain as the energy of the attack merely transferred the blast through the shield and into his unprotected body. The strength of the blast sent him tumbling backwards and sent a shockwave pulsing into the town behind him. The redhead dragged his rain and blood drenched body to his feet and raised his skeletal snake, wrapping it tightly around him and blocking the town entrance.

"Try to bust through that, you moth eaten, bug-eyed electrical bitch!" he yelled.

He took a few minutes to breathe, to examine himself for injuries and to bind his wounds, then retracted the skeletal snake and raised his reiatsu to full strength again.

The storm hollow stood a few feet in front of him, sucking in air and gathering black swirls of reiatsu that poured out of nostrils, mouth and ears to create more large, black clouds.

"Gearing up for another round?" the redhead muttered, "I don't think so. You're going down now!"

He held his reiatsu at full power and recalled the skeletal snake, shifting to his shikai and sending a barrage of blazing fireballs ahead of him as he flash stepped toward the hollow. Heavy winds and hail blasted his body as he closed in, raking the hollow's massive form with his zanpakutou, then firing a volley of crawling ropes to entangle it. The hollow reared back, screeching and sending more shock waves into the town. Renji turned and swept down in a move he took straight from Byakuya Kuchiki's own arsenal. Twin blasts of blue flame erupted from his hands and he threw himself into a wickedly fast senka move that he knew would have made his former lover proud. The hollow reeled under the force of the kido and screamed as Zabimaru cut through it, nearly cutting the beast in half.

Renji paused, wiping the rain and soaked hair from his eyes as the hollow froze for a moment before taking a stumbling step and tumbling to the ground. The dark body exploded and faded into mist, leaving him alone on the plain, staring at the mess that their battle had left behind. The rain lessened and slowly faded away, and the skies above the redhead gradually began to clear. Renji breathed a sigh of relief and turned back towards the town.

"Damn," he muttered, shaking his head as he passed the first storm battered houses at the edge of town, "Like these people don't already have enough to deal with…"

"Renji!" Rukia's voice called out from somewhere ahead of him.

"Rukia!" he called back.

Rukia flash stepped into view just ahead of him, her violet eyes wide and frightened.

"Are you all right?" she asked quickly.

"Of course I'm all right," he said shortly, "What? You thought I'd let some stinking hollow get the best of me?"

"Renji…things are bad in town. Some of the buildings were destroyed in the storm. And one of those buildings was the schoolhouse."

"Damn it!"

"The townspeople have evacuated all of the children…but…"

"But what?" Renji snapped, "Rukia, what happened?"

"It's Bya. One of the children didn't go into the storm cellar. Bya found her and was trying to get back there when the force of the storm made the building collapse on them. We got the little girl out, but Bya is unconscious and trapped in the wreckage!"

Renji said no more, but flash stepped towards the schoolhouse. His stomach clenched as he reached the place it had been and he encountered a group of townspeople gathered around a section of the fallen building. Several large men had their bodies braced beneath large beams and were holding them away as Toru knelt next to the unconscious man and slipped his hands beneath his shoulders, trying to pull him free.

"Just a little more!" Toru cried, "Come on…lift!"

Renji heard Bya groan and saw him shift in Toru's grasp.

"Bya!" he cried, flash stepping to the men's side and working his way in underneath the beams that still lay across his torso.

He met Toru's eyes for a moment.

"I'm going to use my reiatsu to shatter the beams. As soon as I do, pull him free."

Toru nodded briefly.

Renji let his power flare around him and carefully directed into the beams on top of Bya. As he prepared to break the boards, Bya's eyes opened and met his wearily.

"R-renji," he mouthed softly.

The redhead smiled down at him.

"Didn't I tell you to get in the storm cellar with the kids?" he admonished the trapped man gently, "Sheesh, can't leave you alone for a moment, can I?"

Bya smiled back at him weakly. He held on to Toru's arms tightly as Renji raised his power and focused it into the boards.

"Hang on!" he warned Bya.

Power exploded around them, turning the heavy beams into splinters and raining wood dust down on the gathered townspeople. Toru pulled Bya free, then lifted him carefully and carried him out of the wrecked building. He set the semi-conscious schoolteacher down and knelt beside him as Michio leaned over Bya and calmly administered a pain block. He took his time, carefully examining the injured man, then helped to load him onto a stretcher to be taken back to his home.

"How is he?" Renji asked the healer as Bya was carried away.

"He will make a full recovery," Michio said quietly, "in body, anyway."

"What do you mean?" Renji asked, turning to look at the healer.

"The schoolhouse and everything in it was destroyed in the storm. He and Emiko are all right physically, but they have lost everything…all that he has worked so hard to obtain to take care of them…all of it is gone. They'll have to start over again. And Renji-san, I don't know that he has the spirit left in him. He has had to fight so hard, just to provide what little they had. He had just been named permanent teacher and would have been able to move away from this place. With the schoolhouse destroyed and the town so damaged, he won't have a job…at least not until funding is found to relocate and rebuild. And in the mean time, he will have to struggle to stay afloat long enough for that to happen."

Renji shook his head firmly.

"He's not going to have to do this alone."

"Renji-san…"

"Michio, I know he has pride, and he has done all a guy can do to make things work. It's enough already. He'll listen to me and let me help him. I'll make him listen."

The healer's eyes met his soberly.

"Arigato, Renji-san. He is lucky to have you as a friend."

XXXXXXXXXX

Bya felt a fresh cloth being laid on his forehead and opened his eyes. Emiko smiled down at him and slipped a hand into his.

"Emiko," he whispered, "I'm glad you're all right. You were very responsible, I hear, making sure that the other children got out of the storm cellar safely and went home with their guardians or groups. Arigato."

"We all just did what you taught us, Bya," the girl said softly, "We all stayed safe because we knew what to do…because you taught us what to do in an emergency."

There was a long silence between them. Bya sat up and Emiko helped to adjust the pillows behind him. He gazed at her quietly, searching for words.

"Emiko," he said finally, "I am sorry."

The girl frowned at him, looking mystified.

"You're sorry?" she asked, "Why?"

Bya hugged her and let his fingers run through her long, dark hair.

"I am sorry because everything we had…is gone…everything we built. We have nothing again. We have to start over. It will be difficult."

Emiko met his gaze squarely.

"I don't care about that," she said solemnly, "We may have lost all of our things, but we are still here. We are still together…and that is all that matters, Bya."

Bya closed his eyes and let his head drop onto the girl's shoulder, neither noticing as the door opened and Renji peeked inside. He watched in silence as Emiko wrapped her arms tightly around Bya and rested her face against his. And just as he prepared to say something, he was stopped by the sound of the girl's voice singing softly.

_**Maybe ships on the sea will bring us no treasures**_

_**And dreams that we have just can't be**_

_**Maybe we'll never live in palaces or castles**_

_**But darling, you'll still have me**_

_**xxx**_

_**We're not bound for glory, not headed for heaven**_

_**We have nothing more than you see**_

_**But paradise is more, than money can buy**_

_**And the best things are given for free**_

_**xxx**_

_**So come take my hand now, and turn in a circle**_

_**No one needs follow or lead**_

_**We'll dance until dawn and sing our hearts barren**_

_**And we will have all that we need**_

_**xxx**_

_**We don't hunger or thirst, our bodies are strong**_

_**And we carry a lightness inside**_

_**And even when left on our knees and with nothing**_

_**Our hearts remember our pride**_

_**xxx**_

_**So don't let the storm, the thunder, the lightning**_

_**The rain or the rumbling succeed**_

_**Just put your arms 'round me, your head on my shoulder**_

_**And we will have all that we need**_

_**Yes, we will have all that we need**_

_**You and I will have all that we need**_

_**xxx**_

A smile rose on Renji's lips and he backed quietly out of the room.

"Poor dears," Noa said suddenly, startling him as she appeared in the hallway, "Things always seem to be so difficult for them."

"Yeah," Renji agreed, "but something tells me that they will come through. And even though I know Bya has his pride to think about, I'm going to help him. I'll find a way to make him let me."

Noa smiled.

"Bya and Emiko are very lucky to have you," she said quietly.

"B-but…I haven't been able to do much at all. How have I really helped him?"

"Oh…the ways have been small, yes," the old woman said, taking his hand, but you respect him. You let him do as much as he can on his own…and you never ask for anything in return. And Renji, his face lights up whenever he speaks of you, and whenever he sees you. Bya thinks very highly of you."

"Well, it's mutual. Because, I'll be honest with you. I've seen people with frightening amounts of power, and it's all wasted, because they don't have respect for what matters. The things that matter to Bya are always clear. He works hard to provide for himself and Emiko. He loves that little girl with all of his heart. And he protects her with all of his strength. Noa…I think that I…"

He stopped himself, staring at the old woman in silence.

"Renji-san," Noa said softly, "You know, even though you will not say the words, they are written clearly on everything you do. You love our Bya and Emiko. Now, you just have to decide where that love will lead you."


	9. In Shadows

**Chapter 9: In Shadows**

**XXXXXXXXXX**

_**These are the things you see when you do not look directly. Out of the corner of an eye, in bright flashes or in the flickering images of a dream. The world is distorted and odd, and even the obvious things become obscured. Look then at me, but do not look too closely, or I will disappear.**_

**XXXXXXXXXX**

Renji turned and moaned softly in his sleep, the lingering discomfort from his battle with the storm hollow nagging at him as his weary body tried to rest. He felt Rukia's presence briefly and woke to find her applying new bandages to his wounds and washing his face.

"Go back to sleep," she told him quietly, "Even big, powerful captains need to rest after a hard battle."

He tried to think of a retort, but found himself dropping off again. More comfortable now, his sleep was deeper, and soon he was entrenched in dreams.

"_R-renji?"_

_He raised his aching head and found that he was collapsed on top of Byakuya in the dark tunnel that he had dragged his captain into when Byakuya was injured. He met the noble's eyes and read the pain, then fell to checking his body carefully for damage and setting about binding his wounds._

"_Arigato, Renji."_

_Pale, cold fingers sought his face as he leaned over the noble, swearing softly at the severity of the injuries, but not daring to use any healing power. They were still in enemy territory, and that meant they had to stay hidden._

"_Sorry that I can't do more for you, Captain," he said softly._

_He was surprised to hear a soft chuckle issue from the man he had never heard laugh._

"_You are sorry?" he repeated softly, his lips quirking, "You don't think that busting into Las Noches, incinerating an entire unit of hollows and breaking me out of Aizen's prisons just in time to save me from being sexually assaulted by every Arrancar in the place qualifies as 'enough,' Abarai? I mean…I am a perfectionist, but truly…"_

"_Well," he said, gazing down into the noble's pained eyes, "You got hurt."_

"_I did," Byakuya acknowledged, "but I was also freed…and not raped. And for that, you have my deepest gratitude, Vice Captain."_

_Renji laughed softly._

"_Captain, as much as I appreciate that, you might want to save the gratitude for when we are safe."_

"_And where would be the amusement in that, Renji?" Byakuya asked, his lips twitching softly again._

_Renji inhaled sharply as it struck him that Byakuya had just made a joke. Pinned down deep within enemy territory, injured and unable to be healed, his solemn, quiet, serious captain was joking with him…_

_He met the dark gray eyes in the half-light and a smile crept onto his face._

"_Gomen nasai, Captain," he said, washing the noble's smudged face with a cool, wet cloth, "You never told me you liked being amused before."_

_His body was shaken with a sudden fit of laughter that he stifled so as not to give them away. Byakuya stared up at him with a curious expression._

"_Abarai, have you taken leave of your senses? Why are you laughing?"_

"_Mhmm…hah, sorry Captain. It's just that I…"_

"_What?"_

"_S-sorry, I can't seem to…aha!"_

_Byakuya frowned._

"_Abarai, collect yourself and tell me what is so funny, because I think I missed the joke."_

"_Ahm…erm, s-sorry. I just realized, you know, why you…"_

"_Why I what?" asked the noble, an edge of impatience in his tone._

"_Why you picked me!" Renji managed before biting back another bout of laughter._

"_Why I picked you?"_

"_To be your vice captain," Renji explained, grinning, "I mean, what could be more amusing than watching me blow up kido spells in my own face, ne? That is funny, Captain. Or me being tossed around and beaten nearly into unconsciousness before turning things around and figuring out how to overcome my enemies? Captain, I'm a source of endless amusement, right? I'm as clumsy and awkward as a clown."_

_Byakuya's eyes softened and he reached up to touch the redhead's cheek, freezing him in place._

"_There was nothing clumsy or awkward in what you just did, Renji," he said quietly, all signs of humor leaving his handsome face, "Your entrance was timed perfectly. Your kido spells were powerful and on target. You maintained perfect control over your zanpakutou, and you were able to extract the hostage while taking minimal damage."_

_Renji fell silent, a flush rising on his face and throat._

"_Well," he replied softly, "I guess when it's a matter of life or death for someone I love, I stop fucking around and get serious."_

_Renji's eyes widened as he realized what he had just said. He bit his lips in embarrassment and started to turn away. He froze again as a slender hand took hold of his wrist and held him in place. Byakuya sat up, his eyes locked on the redhead's holding him, staring and silent as the distance closed between them. The noble stopped with his lips tantalizingly close to Renji's, and the redhead felt a jolt inside as the scent of sakura broke across his senses, making him forget the desert, the sand, the endless night, the danger…everything but the beautiful man holding onto his wrist and gazing hungrily into his eyes._

"_So," Byakuya breathed, his lips almost touching Renji's, "I wasn't imagining things. You are…attracted to me?"_

_Renji managed a wavering smile._

"_C-captain, I…"_

_He caught himself suddenly. Because he wasn't looking at someone normal…someone average, someone like himself. He was looking at his ideal of power and beauty, one he had once hated, and now adored. But Byakuya was, first, his captain and second, the leader of a noble clan. He had no business making advances on this man…none._

_But somehow, even in the darkness of the cave Byakuya's eyes held an affectionate shine. His lips had curved upward into something just short of a smile. He still held Renji's wrist in a deceptively delicate looking hand. And the expression on the noble's face was inviting, warm and movingly hopeful. It was a reckless move for both of them, certainly. But in the rush of heady adrenaline from Byakuya's rescue, he felt his excuses fall away and simply told the truth._

"_Aishiteru yo," he whispered as Byakuya leaned forward and brought their lips together for the first time._

_Their first kiss was shaky and hesitant, the second, longer and deliciously lingering, and the third left the redhead feeling weak. Byakuya's arms wrapped around him and the noble laid back and rested his head on the ginpaku kazahana no uzuginu, his dark hair spilling onto the fine fabric all around him. Renji let his body settle onto the lovely one beneath it, his heart aching to forget they were still in enemy territory, that they could be discovered at any moment, and that one false move could get them both killed. He sighed softly, taking in the wonderful warmth and beautiful scent of the body beneath his._

"_Kami," he whispered, sinking his fingers into the noble's silken hair, "No wonder those Arrancars were so damned distracted by you. I could have done a tap dance naked in the middle of that room and half of 'em wouldn't have noticed."_

"_I would have noticed," Byakuya said, a genuine smile gracing his lips._

"_You would, huh?" Renji said, closing the distance between them again and indulging in several long, open-mouthed kisses, "Ah, Captain, we'd really better stop for now. I mean, this can wait until we get back…"_

_He broke off, meeting Byakuya's eyes hesitantly. Byakuya gazed back calmly, but Renji felt the question both were considering._

"_I mean…if…"_

_He fell silent again, just resting in the noble's arms and wishing they didn't have to be two such different people…that he could have been noble born, or Byakuya a peasant. Then what they felt would be all that mattered. But both men were all too aware of Byakuya's exact position, of the expectations and hopes of his clan. And while, in the flush of victory and in the darkness of a cave, they might partake of each other, all bets were off the moment they reached the safety of home._

"_Is that all that you think I want from you, Renji?" Byakuya asked softly, "Just this night, this place, this moment?"_

_Renji let out his breath and closed his eyes for a moment._

"_Come on," he said, lacing his fingers together with Byakuya's, "You and I live in the real world, Captain. We come from very different places. It's not a bad thing…not at all. It's one of the things I love about us…that we're so different on the surface. But beneath your perfect breeding and my questionable blood, between your strict upbringing and my days of running wild in the Rukongai, inside, we're not all that different. We are both powerful fighters. We both have strength and courage. And we would both die to protect the people we love. It's not all that surprising that we would feel close to each other. But you and I both know how well an affair between us would go over with your council. And honestly, I think my friends would be scared shitless if I showed up to play cards and drink too much with you on my arm."_

"_Well then," Byakuya said, not missing a beat, "We won't have an affair. We will devote ourselves to each other. And we needn't tell the council or your friends. We can keep this private, if you prefer it that way."_

"_What," Renji said, furrowing his brow, "You would actually tell the council? Really?"_

"_In a heartbeat," Byakuya whispered, kissing the startled redhead on the tip of the nose, "But as I do not wish to interfere with your relationship with your friends and neither do I want you annoyed with the elders' poor behavior, I will agree to see you privately."_

_Renji opened his mouth to object and found it being unexpectedly invaded by a devilishly warm and playful tongue that teased his into motion, stroked it and curled around it pleasantly. And Byakuya's hips pushed upward into his, rubbing their hardening lengths together through their clothes. He caught a breath and lost it again as the noble's hands slid down his back and settled on his hips. Renji thrust into Byakuya's hips, sucking at his tongue and letting himself fall deep into the smoky depths of the noble's placid eyes. His mouth left Byakuya's and he traced the strong jaw in light kisses, then fell on the graceful, white throat that was nearly always hidden by the ginpaku kazahana no uzuginu, nipping and sucking until Byakuya's body pushed upward harder into his, and the noble bit his earlobe in warning._

"_Renji…Renji, don't tease me like this unless you plan to take this all of the way. I don't enjoy being teased…"_

_Renji smiled down at him, the uncertainty falling away._

"_I'm not teasing, Captain. And if you want me to take this all of the way, then I want that too. Just…you have had a male lover before, ne?"_

_A thin touch of anxiety rose in the noble's eyes and he shook his head briefly._

"_Never. There was only Hisana. And we were only together a few times before she became ill. So I think I shall have to rely upon you to take the lead."_

"_What? You assume I'm some kind of slut or something?" he said, feigning annoyance, "I'll have you know that I have only had two lovers. And both times, I was completely monogamous. I don't sleep around or anything, if that's what you're insinuating!"_

"_Of course not," Byakuya replied, disarming him completely with a fleeting smile, "I only meant that I assumed that someone as attractive as you probably receives a lot of romantic attention."_

"_Hmmm…just a more polite way of saying the same thing, I think. But I'll let it go…if you will."_

"_I will," agreed the noble, kissing him again, "but I won't let you go, not ever. So, I hope you weren't planning on lengthening that list of lovers any time soon."_

_Renji's smile widened._

"_I think that after tonight, I won't remember that there ever was a list. After tonight, all that will exist for me is you."_

"_And you will be all that exists for me, as well, Renji."_

_They stopped speaking then, and let their hands speak instead, peeling away each others' clothes and baring themselves completely. Renji found himself surprised as his tanned flesh touched Byakuya's paler skin and it proved to be, not cooler, as he had imagined it, but hot and already lightly misted with sweat. His hands moved of their own accord, traveling the lovely curves of Byakuya's body and touching him in ways and places he hadn't dared dream that he would. Byakuya's fingers played dreamily over the black markings on his skin, and the dark gray eyes were wide and curious, the way they were when he watched the koi swimming in his pond at home, or how they looked when he sat beneath a tree, looking up at the night sky. And even though he didn't say a word, Renji felt the compliment in the gesture, the genuine affection in the touches Byakuya offered him. He lifted himself away and admired the beauty of the man who was about to become his lover, then smiled warmly at him._

"_Just let me know if I do something uncomfortable. It's not just that it's your first time. Remember, you were injured and haven't been healed properly yet."_

_Byakuya nodded and locked his eyes on Renji's. The redhead swallowed hard at the trust he saw reflected there and moved forward cautiously and with utmost respect for the man who laid beneath him. He wet his fingers in Byakuya's mouth, then returned to kissing him, penetrating deeply with his tongue and running a hand down the long, white torso, pausing to sink into his navel, then continuing down further, finding his entrance and commencing a slow, gentle preparation. He continued kissing the noble, their eyes still focused on each other as his fingers carefully continued in their path. He almost lost his breath again at seeing the hunger, the longing that rose in Byakuya's eyes as Renji shifted and parted the soft, white thighs and settled in between them. He wondered if he should give the noble any more warning, but decided that it was probably best to take things slowly and let Byakuya experience their first lovemaking in his own way._

_Byakuya's hands tightened on him as Renji entered him, watching the play of emotion over Byakuya's face as their bodies joined. He stopped when he was fully entrenched in his new lover, and smiled at the beautiful expression Byakuya wore. The fingers of one of the noble's hands removed his hair tie, and his red hair trickled down onto his shoulders and gently tickled Byakuya's sensitive skin. Their mouths met again in a fierce bout of deep kisses as Renji drew back, then thrust in again. The noble moaned into his mouth and his hips rose against Renji's as he continued to move together, devouring the soft sounds of pleasure that emerged from his lover's lips and lacing their fingers together. Byakuya's fingers clenched his tightly, his chest rose and fell more quickly, and his eyes misted over as the lovely sensations overtook him. The noble's back arched as the redhead's hardness found the pleasure center inside him. He buried his mouth in Renji's to keep himself from crying out and attracting the attention of the hollows, as his body seized and shuddered and hot seed erupted onto their skin. He barely managed to keep himself from moaning too loudly as Renji climaxed, filling him with his seething release._

_They laid together, dizzied and sated for a long time after…until well after it would have been safe enough for them to leave and to continue on their way home. Their hands and lips explored each other slowly, lingering in the sweetness of afterglow, touching and tasting each other longingly before they reluctantly parted and began to prepare for the journey home. As Renji moved towards the cave entrance, Byakuya rested a hand on his shoulder, stopping him._

"_Renji," he said softly, "Whatever happens once we leave here, this cannot be taken away. My heart belongs to you, and I will never give it to another again."_

_Their lips met once in silent promise, then they flash stepped into the desert again and turned towards home._

Renji opened his eyes and blinked away the tears. He knelt on his bed and looked out at the stars and white moon, still feeling as though Byakuya had kissed him only moments ago.

"Even when they took you away from me, you kept that promise. Even though you had to leave me and marry her, your heart was still here. I guess that's why I couldn't move on," he whispered, "But you are really gone from me now…and I know you wouldn't want me to keep going on over you like this. I love you as much as I ever did, but even if you came back right now, you wouldn't be mine. And finally…finally, I am starting to feel like I could be falling in love again. But to open that door, I have to close this one. Goodbye, Byakuya. I hope that wherever you are, you are safe and warm. And I wish that somehow, you could let us know that even if you can't come back, that you're all right."

He paused, blinking as a star shot across the sky outside the window, leaving a glowing trail in its wake. He sighed softly, a tear sliding down his face as he turned away from the window and laid down to go back to sleep. He was just drifting off as soft, urgent voices reached his ears. Shaking off the heavy emotion, he slipped out of bed and into the dark hallway. Noa stood just outside Bya's room, holding a crying Emiko in her arms.

"What is it?" he asked, flash stepping down the hallway to join them, "What's happening?"

"B-bya wouldn't wake up," the girl sobbed, "I tried and tried to wake him up, but…"

Renji met Noa's worried eyes for a moment, then entered Bya's room and closed the door behind him. Michio leaned over the injured man, still examining him, but with eyes that looked worn and defeated.

"What is it? What's wrong? I thought you said he would be all right!"

Michio shook his head.

"It was the head injury. You know that he suffered a severe head injury when we first found him. He never recovered his memory after that. And when the schoolhouse collapsed on him, it re-injured him. There is swelling in his brain…"

"But you can heal him, right? In the Seireitei, we…"

"Renji-san," the healer said quietly, "This is not the Seireitei. This is one of the lowest districts of the Rukongai…and this is not royalty. Bya is a peasant. And with us peasants, sometimes we recover, and sometimes we do not. We haven't the means for the type of procedures it would take to treat this properly. I will do my best, but I can make no promises."

Renji stared at him for a long moment, then his eyes moved from Michio to the unconscious man in the bed and he felt something snap inside him.

"No," he said in a low, angry voice, "I won't accept that."

"R-renji-san…"

"I said, no!" Renji said louder, "Michio, I already lost Byakuya. I loved that man with everything I had, and he loved me every bit as much! It has taken a long time to get over him, but I have finally begun to move on. I love Bya…end of story! And pride? Status? Power? Those things don't mean shit right now! I am _not_ losing him. I am taking him to the Seireitei."

"B-but…"

"Just get him ready."

Renji turned back to the door, opened it wide and gathered Emiko into his arms. He looked into the girl's teary eyes and smiled.

"You mind taking a little trip with me?" he asked, "I want to take Bya to a healer in the Seireitei. She is a very gifted healer, like Michio, and in the Seireitei, they have what they need to help him get well."

"R-really?" the girl stammered, sniffling, "They can make him wake up?"

"They will do their best. But we have to go quickly now. Go and get dressed."

"Hai!" the girl shouted excitedly, "Arigato!"

Michio curled an arm around Noa and smiled gratefully at Renji.

"You know you're setting a bad precedent. Bya is a proud man. And even if not for that, if you take him in, how long will it be before your house is filled with strays? You can't take in every peasant in Inuzuri, lovely though they may be."

Renji shook his head firmly.

"He isn't just some peasant," he said, turning his head to look at Bya, "I love him. And I'll be damned if I'm going to let pride or poverty be the reason I lose him!"


	10. The Loved and the Lost

**Chapter 10: The Loved and the Lost**

**XXXXXXXXXX**

_**Your love led me out of the shadows, but I dare not stand in the light. What once was loved is lost, and what once was a dream has come to life. The only thing holding us back is the person I was. Do I hold on to him? Or do I let go?**_

**XXXXXXXXXX**

"Kami, how long has it been since we heard anything?" asked Rukia, glancing down at Emiko, who was leaned up against her and fast asleep, "I would have taken Emiko back to Kuchiki Manor with me if I had known it would be such a long time. She needs the rest."

"You do too," Renji said quietly, "You've been as worried about him as I've been."

"I'm okay. And anyway, I wasn't the one who was out there fighting that storm hollow. I will be…"

She broke off as Captain Unohana entered the private waiting room. Renji nudged Emiko awake and the three looked up at the fourth division captain with questioning eyes.

"I am glad to tell you that Bya has escaped death. We were able to decrease the swelling in his brain, and there appear to be no signs of lasting damage. He did have significant injuries, so even once he wakes, he will need to remain in the Seireitei for an additional week or so to receive continuing treatments."

"But he will wake up soon?" asked Emiko worriedly.

The healer gazed at the girl sadly.

"I cannot say. That depends on many things, but I think that if you sit with him for a while and talk to him, it will help him to find his way back. Talk to him about the good times and things you have enjoyed together, and talk about the things you want to do when he gets well. Isane will be here to monitor his condition. Rukia, why don't you go ahead and take Emiko in to see him? I am sure she is very anxious. Captain Abarai, I would like to speak to you for a moment."

Renji watched silently as the two followed Isane out of the waiting area.

"What is it?" Renji asked quickly, "Is there something more wrong with him than you wanted to say?"

"Well," said the healer, "I found something very odd when I examined him."

"What do you mean?"

When I scanned Bya's body for damage, I discovered something unexpected. You see, with his low reiatsu, I would have expected for him to lack proper spirit centers. The ones who do not develop into shinigamis usually have fewer, less developed spirit centers. But when I scanned Bya's body, I found that, not only did he have seven spirit centers, marking him as a person with strong potential, his spirit centers are fully developed, indicating years of training and advancement."

"B-but…how is that possible?" Renji asked, his eyes widening, "I mean, if his spirit centers are like that, then why is he without powers?"

"I sense a powerful seal that has been placed on them. You know that normally, we seal away a shinigami's power using the spirit bands set in our wrists. But this seal defies all known logic. It is a heavy enchantment. And not one among the shinigamis today is capable of placing such a seal. It has been directly placed upon the spirit centers, something that none of us have the power to do. And in that, it suggests divine intervention."

"Wha…you mean…someone from the spirit dimension did this to him?" Renji whispered in shock, "Who would do that? And why?"

Unohana shook her head sadly.

"I cannot even tell if it was a friendly spirit or demonkind. And because we are not allowed to directly interact with that world, it is unlikely we will ever know. But I thought that you would want to be aware."

"So, what do we do?" Renji asked softly, "How do we help him?"

The healer shook her head.

"There is really nothing we can do. We cannot give him back his powers, so we must make him well again and let him choose his path from there."

"Damn," Renji sighed, "I guess this must have something to do with the fact he can't remember his past, right? So does that mean he never will?"

"I do not know. But, if he does remember, at some point, then it may open a path to returning his powers. There is just no way to be certain unless he remembers how this was done."

"I see," said Renji, nodding, "Thank you, Captain Unohana. I guess I suspected all along that there was more to Bya than meets the eye, but…hell…I had no idea!"

He watched as the healer took her leave of him, then turned in the direction that Rukia and Emiko had gone.

XXXXXXXXXX

_Byakuya felt the onset of tears and, not wanting to be seen in such a state, he masked his reiatsu, left his room and flash stepped away from the manor, passing through the darkened garden trails and out onto the forest path. He ran through the trees to the place where they ended at the waterfall and dropped down onto the open meadow below. He fell to his knees at the edge of the lake and stared at the moon's reflection on the surface of the water, trying to force down the dark emotion that threatened to overwhelm him._

"_We should not shed tears," he whispered, closing his eyes, "That is the surrender of the body to the heart. It is only proof that we are beings who to not know what to do with our hearts."_

_But the words his grandfather had taught him, the words passed down through time in his noble family refused to comfort him, even as he repeated them._

"_W-we should not shed tears. That is the surrender of the body to the heart…"_

_And he had a strong heart. He had resolve and discipline. He had stood quietly and with a solemn expression when his parents died, when Hisana died, and as he had watched Ginrei disappear into the spirit dimension, even knowing his grandfather would not return. But none of those things had cut him with such severity as walking away from the best thing that had ever happened to him…knowing that each of them would still be alive and well, but that they would be locked into different dimensions…and that even if he returned for the cherry blossom viewing once a year, his heart would never stop feeling empty. The princess might be as beautiful as the moon and stars, and she might be a wonderful person, but she wasn't Renji. And the only person his heart longed for was Renji. He couldn't see anything, not even royal privilege or duty changing that. He might have to quietly take the steps that led to the palace, but it would never be his home. And he might have to give his hand in marriage to the spirit king's daughter, but she would never have his heart._

_And his heart would be trapped here, far away from his body, in this place where he and Renji had spent so many secret hours holding and loving each other. He might never see Kuchiki Manor again…because even though he would be allowed to travel there once a year, he didn't know if he could come back…if he could bear to see Renji. He hated to think of how badly his lover would be hurting, or of the anger he had expressed the last time they saw each other._

"_Are you still angry with me?" he whispered, "Do you hate me for this? Kami knows, I hate myself."_

_And suddenly it was too much for him. He collapsed on the edge of the lake, sobbing almost more silently than the softly blowing breeze that touched his unbound hair. He wasn't sure how long he laid in the mud at the edge of the water, crying, but gradually, he managed to regain control. He lifted himself slightly and caught sight of his reflection in the water._

_And he was glad Renji couldn't see him…_

_Because dressed in nightclothes, on his hands and knees in the mud, his hair tumbled and his face drenched in tears he should have been able to control, he was a complete disgrace. One so weak in heart, he thought, wasn't worthy of that kind of love, so maybe that was why fate was taking it from him. But whatever the reason, he just couldn't seem to accept it._

_But the night was passing by. The hours and minutes still carried him towards his fate, even as he clung desperately to the love that was about to be taken from them. He was secretly glad that he had made Renji angry at him. The anger would temper the feelings of loss. And Renji would have Rukia to comfort him. He would still be surrounded by his friends. But with the exception of Rukia, no one had known they were seeing each other. And once he entered the spirit dimension, not one soul in that place, but Byakuya's would know. And it wouldn't matter if he and the princess grew to be affectionate. The loss of Renji, the fact of being alone in that pain would shatter him inside._

"_No," he breathed on the cold night air, "I am already shattered."_

_And he couldn't bear the thought of facing the sun when it rose. He wanted this night's moon to stay in the air overhead, the stars to freeze in place. But there was no way to stop time, no way to be loosed from its tight embrace, except…_

_He shivered as the thought passed over him. It was a thought as weak as the tears he had been crying. But as the night wore on and the cold seeped into him, he felt the emptiness that had opened up inside and felt his senses leave him. Everything was gone. He was losing everything that mattered…Renji, Rukia, leadership of his clan and squad, the only home he had ever known…everything. Even knowing he would finally see Ginrei again was no comfort. His spirit was suddenly exhausted, as if giving himself over to this marriage had finally broken him._

_He didn't know quite how he ended up on his feet, with Senbonzakura appearing in his hand, or what made him drive his weapon into the soft earth and grass beneath the sakura tree where he and Renji had last lain together. All he knew as the power swelled around him was that it was a way to stop hurting so badly, and cowardly or not, at least his heart would be at rest._

"_Master," Senbonzakura whispered in his mind, "are you sure?"_

"_Senbonzakura," he breathed, "I am sorry my heart was not made stronger."_

_"I understand."_

_He took in one last breath of the sweet night air they had loved, and relaxed, letting his spirit centers open wide and calling forth the power that would incinerate Senbonzakura and him, destroying them, and turning them to ash upon the ground. _

_But as he did, a warm, calloused hand took his where it rested on the hilt of his zanpakutou and pulled the blade free of the earth. The power around them faded and the field went dark and quiet again._

_He waited in silence for Renji to loose his anger, to berate him for being a cold-hearted bastard, for being weak, for giving up. The last thing he expected was to feel his hair drawn back over one pale shoulder, and soft kisses planted on his throat beneath his ear, to have warm, loving arms wrap around him and bear him to the ground beneath the tree. And before he could speak, his mouth was filled with the taste of his lover, his nose blessed with his exotic, masculine scent. The hands that had always stood between him and death, freed him of his yukata, spreading the soft material around his outstretched body, touching his hair where it lay, spilled out around his head. Lips and fingers calmed away the tears and the soft purr of Renji's heart against his breast soothed him._

_He waited for the questing touch on his thigh, for the redhead's eyes to transfix him, for his fingers to prepare him for their lovemaking, but that strong, beautifully tattooed body rose over his and settled atop him, taking his length inside instead. He inhaled in a sharp, pained hiss, and lacing their fingers together, he began to move._

_Byakuya had never seen anything so beautiful as Renji's well-muscled and moonlit body moving with catlike grace as the redhead's proud face gazed wordlessly down at his. His eyes fluttered fitfully and ached to close, but if this was to be the last time, then he wanted to stay connected, to watch, too see everything. He didn't want to miss a moment of their final coupling. Pleasure swept over him and gripped him, and for this one time, he surrendered, giving up his cries of passion to the night sky, not holding back anything._

_The flames of completion hadn't yet begun to fade, when the redhead pulled away and entered him, roughly enough to make him cry out again, to make him grab the hard shoulders and bite down on the sweat-slicked, tanned flesh to manage the pain. Renji didn't stop to ask if he was all right, and he couldn't have answered anyway. He was already under the spell of those lovely red-brown eyes, buried in that wonderfully hot mouth and pulling impatiently on the redhead's thrusting hips. His fingers tightened and spread over his lover's round bottom and held him tightly as Renji gasped with pleasure and Byakuya felt the beautiful eruption of seething heat inside him. The redhead moaned and sighed with completion, then fell onto his chest, loosing a barrage of finishing kisses, leaving both calm and sated, with the heat of their lovemaking still flaming and circling inside them._

"_Why?" Byakuya asked finally, "Why did you come here tonight? I thought I had driven you away. You were so angry…"_

"_Huh…yeah," Renji agreed, a sad smile rising on his lips, "I was angry for all of about five minutes until I realized what you were really doing. You forget. I've watched you more closely than anyone else ever has. I know what you're going to do, sometimes before it happens…and I know what is beneath every word you say. I knew you wanted to make me angry, so that the pain of your leaving wouldn't be as bad for me. But I wasn't about to let you get away with that. I wasn't going to let you face this night alone."_

_Byakuya felt a flush rise on his skin and turned his head away._

"_I am…sorry for my weakness. I shouldn't have allowed myself to fall into such a disgraceful state."_

_Renji laughed softly._

"_You are not even close to disgrace," he said, kissing the noble lingeringly, "You're breathtaking."_

"_I am covered in mud, stains and tears and surrendering to my emotions like a child. I feel sorry for myself, even when I should be there for you. Renji, you are always here for me. I am never there for you. Never."_

"_That's not true," the redhead said, stopping him with a bout of fiery kisses, "You gave me everything I need to get through this. You gave me your heart, your body, and tonight you gave me a gift you have never given anyone. You shed tears for us. You've never done that, no matter how bad things got. You've held me more than a few times when I cried, but you've never let yourself be that open, not even with me. And even though I'll only ever see that this once, I will keep it with me forever. And I want you to keep it too."_

_Renji rolled onto his back and pulled the noble onto his chest, smiling as his lover's face buried itself in his shoulder and throat, as it had so many times before._

"_Byakuya," the redhead whispered, "Take this night with you. Don't try to make yourself forget. Just…when you're cold or you feel too alone, remember what this was like. Just because it seems like we'll never be this way again, doesn't mean everything is lost."_

"_What are you talking about?" Byakuya sighed, "I am marrying the spirit king's daughter. I will have to make heirs and perform my duties as prince, then when she takes her place as queen, I will be made royal consort. I cannot escape any of that. It is a lifelong commitment, Renji."_

"_Yeah…it does look that way. But you know what? The truth is…that as long as we're living and breathing, fate can still give us back to each other. Remember that."_

They fell silent after that, looking up into the sky and holding each other quietly. As Byakuya's thoughts drifted, he remembered a time they had traveled to Inuzuri and Renji had made him dance in public. And he heard again the gentle ballad that played as they danced together.

**_One Last Dance_**

**_The fire is gone from your eyes_**

_**And tears run down your face**_

_**As we reach the final hour**_

_**Of this long, slow fall from grace**_

_**I can't see the future, and I can't escape the past**_

_**There's only time left now for one last dance**_

_**xxx**_

_**We were reaching for the stars**_

_**We were ready to make a stand**_

_**But we didn't see the path**_

_**Of fate's merciless hand**_

_**We gladly would have given it all to take a chance**_

_**But there's only time left now for one last dance**_

_**xxx**_

_**So how did it fall upon us**_

_**And steal you from my arms**_

_**And why am I alone now**_

_**Beneath this lovely moon and stars**_

_**And where are you now as the years go sailing past**_

_**And all we have left now is our last dance**_

_**xxx**_

_**I won't forget your eyes or that long last parting glance**_

_**And I won't forget the love in our last dance**_

_**xxx**_

_**As the beat starts to slow**_

_**And the tune begins to fade**_

_**As our hands must let go**_

_**There's one last thing to say**_

_**I will not be sorry, though it wasn't made to last**_

_**I'll just wait for you right here for our next dance**_

_**xxx**_

_**Even as you walk away**_

_**And I know you can't look back**_

_**Even though you won't stop now**_

**_And alone is where I stand_**

_**I know the day will come when at last you'll take my hand**_

_**I'll be waiting for you right here for our next dance**_

_**I'll be waiting for you right here for our next dance**_

XXX

Byakuya felt light pressure on his hand and heard a girl's voice talking to him. His mind spun, trying to make sense of what had happened. He remembered being in the spirit dimension, the failed wedding and the king's challenge. He opened his eyes and sat up suddenly, startling the girl, the young woman and the man who all sat at his bedside. As he did, he caught sight of himself in a mirror across the room and inhaled sharply.

_Sweet kami…_

_I wasn't dreaming…_

_This is real!_

"B-bya?" the little girl said, staring at him through wide, teary eyes.

"I'll get Captain Unohana," Rukia said quickly.

Renji stepped forward and sat down on the bed next to him.

"Thank kami," he whispered, "Bya, I know you didn't want me to step in and do something like this, but I…"

Emiko threw her arms around his neck, sobbing and kissed him on the cheek.

"We were worried you were not going to wake up!" she cried, "We love you! We don't ever want you to go away!"

"No," Renji agreed, "I tried to honor your wishes, but I just couldn't. I was too afraid of losing you."

Byakuya stared at him in stunned silence, a breath away from revealing himself.

Then Renji leaned forward and kissed him.

"Don't ever scare me like that again, Bya. I suffered through hell to find you…and I am not giving you up now!"

_The spirit king said that his love for me would make him see me. But all he sees now is the peasant I was made into._

_And he loves that man._

_Not me…_


	11. Ways of Loving

**Chapter 11: Ways of Loving**

**XXXXXXXXXX**

_**We have turned upon a different pathway now. Softer, gentler currents bear us away and the winds have shifted. The light falls strangely over my body and you look at me with eyes that no longer remember me. And I wonder. Do I want to be remembered?**_

**XXXXXXXXXX**

Byakuya sat quietly, calmly answering Captain Unohana's questions and stealing glances at the three others who sat nearby, watching them anxiously. The healer smiled and nodded at them encouragingly.

"There appear to be no lasting effects from the head injury, however, it is important not to re-injure yourself that way. With each head injury, the danger of lasting damage grows."

"Well, we'll keep him from bumping his head," promised Renji, looking at Emiko, "Right, kiddo?"

Emiko giggled and nodded. Rukia turned to Byakuya.

"Captain Unohana has said that you will need to stay in the Seireitei for a week or so, for treatments. I was thinking that you could stay with me at Kuchiki Manor. My brother's cousin, Tetsuya, is interim clan leader until more is known about what befell my brother, and he is really wonderful. He has been very kind to Renji and me since Byakuya disappeared. So…will you stay with me?"

Byakuya lowered his eyes.

"Oh…that is very kind of you…but…I…"

"Please don't refuse," Rukia said, placing a hand on his arm, "You need a place to stay and Kuchiki Manor has everything you need for your recovery. You will have proper meals, a house healer to tend you, and there are lovely gardens to walk in."

Byakuya gave her a grateful smile.

"I appreciate the offer more than you know, but…"

"Rukia," said Renji, "I think what Bya is getting at is that it would be a little uncomfortable for him, living where Byakuya did."

"Ah!" said Rukia, looking embarrassed, "I…I just wasn't thinking. I am sorry, Bya."

"No harm done," Byakuya assured her.

"They can stay with me," Renji offered, turning to Bya, "I bought a house a little while back. I haven't spent much time there. I usually stay at my division. I was fixing it up, but got distracted by everything that happened. In any case, it has enough rooms for all of us, and I'll make sure it's stocked with food and things by tomorrow when you check out of here. It should be comfortable for you. And Hanatarou can come to check on you while you're there. Will that work for you?"

"Yes. Of course," Byakuya said quietly, "Arigato, Renji."

"You're welcome. Now…I have to go to work. But I'll be by in a few hours. Would you like me to bring you something in particular for dinner? I mean, the hospital food isn't bad, by any means. It's just…we have some really good places around here."

"You don't have to bring anything. Just your company will be fine, Renji."

The redhead laughed softly.

"You really are stubbornly independent, Bya."

"Is there something _wrong _with that, Abarai?" Byakuya asked, catching his breath softly at the fact that he had said those very words in that same tone to Renji before.

The redhead paused and frowned, studying Bya as he took a sip of water and leaned back against the pillows.

"Ah well," he said, looking as though he was trying to remember something. I will be back later."

Byakuya watched quietly as he left the room.

"I have to go too," said Rukia, "I have to check in at my division and then I'm meeting Tetsuya at the manor for dinner. I will come back after that."

She smiled at Emiko.

"Would you like to come to spend the night at Kuchiki Manor with me tonight?" she asked, "We can go for a walk to the waterfall, swim in the lake and have dinner in the most beautiful gardens you will _ever_ see. Then, we can have a real girl's night sleepover. What do you say?"

Emiko sought Byakuya's eyes questioningly.

"Is it all right, Bya?" she asked softly, "It does sound like it will be fun."

"Of course," Byakuya said, nodding, "but you mind Rukia, and be on your best behavior. The nobles are a bit less casual than we are, but Rukia will educate you, I am certain."

"I'll tell you everything you'll need to know," Rukia promised, "Just wait here with Bya until I get back and we'll go."

"Okay!" the girl said excitedly, her eyes wide at the prospect.

She watched as Rukia left, then turned back to Byakuya.

"The Seireitei is AMAZING!" she said resolutely, "I know you don't want me to get too used to being here, but it is really good being here, because now I REALLY want to become a shinigami. I can't wait until I'm old enough. Rukia took me to the academy and I got to see the dormitories and the practice rooms, the classrooms and the gardens. I've never seen a place like that before. And she said that for all of their meals, you go to the cafeteria and you choose what you want to eat…whatever you want…all you want. Bya, it's just…amazing!"

Byakuya smiled and nodded.

"I know that you will thrive here, Emiko," he said softly, "And I also cannot wait until you qualify for entrance here. It will bring me great peace knowing that you are not hungry…that you do not have to struggle so hard to get by. And I will be so proud that you are there, working hard to make a life for yourself."

The girl looked more closely at him and climbed onto the bed, nudging her way into his arms.

"But even when I'm here, and I can't come to visit you, I will think about you, Bya. You took care of me when my mom and dad died, and I will never forget that. I love you, Bya."

"I love you too, Emiko. And do not worry. I shall be nothing but happy for you when you are old enough to come here. And I will be fine. Once the school is rebuilt, I will have an important job there. I will miss you, of course and I will be very glad when you can visit. But I will not be lonely."

"Good," said the girl, dropping her head onto his shoulder, "because I hate thinking of you being sad. I don't ever want you to be hurt or sad again!"

Byakuya gave her a gentle smile and touched her face lightly.

"There will always be some times of sadness and difficulty. But remember during those times, that not everything that happens around those events is bad. You and I met because we fell upon hard times and we were fated to help each other."

"So…you think that we were meant to meet each other? To be together?" the girl asked, wide eyed.

Byakuya nodded.

"Emiko, I think that our lives are a complex mix of choices and fates, and that there are no mistakes. There are things that happen that are good and bad, but our destiny is something that we can affect with our choices. I chose to take care of you, and because of that, I have a gift in you. That is no accident. Neither is the power inside you, and the fact that you will come here to join the ranks of the shinigamis."

"And what about you?" the girl asked, "If you could…wouldn't you want to be here and to be shinigami too?"

Byakuya smiled.

"I would," he admitted, "But fate has taken me along a different path. It seems that I was meant to stay here and help other children like you to find their way. That, too, is an important fate."

Emiko nodded.

"And it makes me feel proud that you are doing that. It will help a lot of kids to stay alive when they might have died."

"Yes," said Byakuya, pulling the girl close, "So you see, we both have something waiting ahead of us."

XXXXXXXXXX

Renji opened the door to his cottage and stepped inside, the memories sweeping over him. He had carefully avoided mentioning the connection to Byakuya that the house had had. But then, Byakuya had never even known about it.

_"What is it, Abarai?" the noble hissed softly, "You practically dragged me out of a meeting of council to tell me something. Now, what is it?"_

"_You have to come with me to see it. I mean, I know you have to finish the meeting, but once you are done, I really want to show you. I think you're really going to like this!"_

"_I can see that," Byakuya commented, his eyes softening with affection at the sight of Renji's obvious elation over whatever surprise he had, "Very well. As soon as this meeting is over, I will meet you here and we will go and see…whatever has you so worked up. Will that satisfy you, watashi no koi?"_

_Renji smirked._

"_Almost," he said softly, grabbing the noble and pulling him into a sweltering kiss._

_Byakuya tensed and tried to pull away, but was cajoled into calm by his lover's deep, penetrating kisses._

"_Mmmm…Abarai…you had better be ready to sate that hunger you are inciting," Byakuya breathed against his lips, "Now…I must go. We have already aroused suspicion by closeting ourselves in this room for so long."_

_Renji glanced down._

"_I think that's not all we've aroused, ne?"_

_He kissed the noble fiercely and loved the feel of Byakuya kissing him back with equal enthusiasm._

"_You must go, Abarai," Byakuya said, pushing him away, "I cannot return to the meeting flustered."_

_The redhead met his eyes playfully._

"_Then let unfluster you," he said in his most sultry voice._

_Byakuya froze, blinking._

"_Oh…no, not now," he whispered, "If we were seen…"_

"_We won't be seen. I'm here to give a report," he said, wrapping his arms around Byakuya's slender body and dragging him to the floor, "…a very long and complicated report…"_

"_Oh…" Byakuya whispered, trying to gather his thoughts as the redhead's hands opened his clothing, "Oh Renji…this is reckless."_

"_Yeah…it is."_

"_We could be…found."_

"_We could."_

_He pulled Byakuya onto his lap, pushing the noble's creamy thighs open wide. His fingers sought his lover's entrance, but Byakuya's hand stopped him as the two exchanged a flurry of hard kisses._

"_No time," the noble managed, positioning himself._

_He sank down, burying his face in Renji's shoulder to hide his soft exclamation of pain. Then their bodies raged hotly against each other, straining and seeking pleasure as they fought to keep themselves silent. Renji wrapped his hands around the soft, lovely flesh of his lover's perfect buttocks, holding them tightly and bucking his hips upward to meet each delicious, grinding thrust. His eyes sought the noble's beautifully flustered expression, the deeply hazed eyes and clenching hands, the lovely writhing of his hips and back. He loved how very different Byakuya was while making love to him…so tender, so passionate, so unlike the quiet, reserved noble who led the Kuchiki clan. And even more, he loved luring the man into moments like this…moments when anyone could walk in on them fucking shamelessly. He almost wished they would…that the secrets could disappear and they could just tell everyone they were in love and that there wasn't a damned thing anyone could do to stop them…_

_He had been so naïve…_

_Because even as he held his lover's body, watching the pleasure explode across his features, even as Byakuya's body tightened around him and hot seed erupted between them. Even as Byakuya had to bite down on his lips to stop from crying out in ecstasy as Renji's release filled him, a hell butterfly floated towards the building with a royal order that would shatter everything._

_He was glad that in the afterglow of their lovemaking that Byakuya had dropped his head onto Renji's shoulder and held him so tightly, that he had whispered his affections into the redhead's ears as they rested with their bodies still joined and reeling with blessed satedness. He was glad that as he pulled away and dressed, Byakuya had looked down to where Renji still sat, looking up at him…and had said those sweet words._

"_I look forward to seeing what you have to show me. But I am sure that nothing you show me will be as breathtaking as you are, right now, Renji."_

_He remained on the floor, his clothes in disarray for some time afterward, enjoying the lingering taste of Byakuya in his mouth, and the noble's scent on his body. He barely moved until he heard Byakuya's voice in the hallway…the shocked sound of it and the note of devastation barely concealed beneath it. He knew better than to think it was nothing. Instantly, he was on his feet and dressed. He stepped out of the room and into the council hall foyer._

_Byakuya stood amidst the entire contingent of Kuchiki elders, a hell butterfly on his fingertip and a heartbreakingly calm expression._

"_What is it?" he asked, his mouth suddenly dry and his heart pounding._

_Surrounded by his relatives, he knew to expect a collected reply._

"_It is a royal order from the spirit king," Byakuya replied softly, "It seems that his majesty has chosen me to wed his daughter."_

Renji blinked back tears as he walked into the kitchen, for which he had crafted every piece of cabinetry and all of the furniture. He walked through to the dining area with the low table where they would have knelt to have their meals and tea. He walked slowly to the hallway and looked into the bedroom they would have shared, that still held the large, comfortable bed they would have slept in. He made his way out the back door and into the garden that he had designed and grown based on a plan they had contrived during one of their secret lovemaking sessions.

It was better, he thought, to not tell anyone.

It was better that no one ever knew.

Their love had been secret by necessity, and he wasn't even sure that Byakuya would ever have come clean with the elders anyway. He didn't doubt that the noble had loved him dearly…only his ability to defy his family by admitting his love for Renji openly.

And so maybe the way it had ended had been better.

Because neither of them had purposely left the other. Neither was to blame. He could still love Byakuya inside, the way he had before, and no one would tell him how wrong it was. And wherever he was, Byakuya could secretly love him back and no one would look down on him for it.

Renji's hand opened in front of him and caught a cherry blossom as it fell from one of the trees.

"I'm sorry," he whispered, "I'm really sorry that you never got to see this."

He sighed softly and blinked back a tear.

"I know I said that I was ready to leave you behind…but I wonder if I ever will be. Still, we have to move forward…you and I…and I know you wouldn't be angry with me for seeking love again. You would probably be relieved I found it with someone more like me. There will be less complications…less barriers. I really wish you and I had had the chance for that. But…just know and be happy that I am going to give Bya all of the love I would have shared with you. That love needs to go to someone special. And since that person can't be you, I want it to be him. But…please don't take that to mean that I will replace you in my heart with him. I will always love and remember you. It's just that he has a place in my heart too. He's the person who picked up the pieces of me after we were ripped apart…and…I think you and I both owe him for that."

He fell silent, staring at the cherry blossom in his palm. Slowly, he closed his hand and brought it to his heart. He sat down on the blanket of sweet smelling blossoms beneath the tree and cried until there were no tears left to fall.

_Kami, I wish I knew what happened to you. I could handle this so much better if I knew you were all right…_


	12. To Our Future

**Chapter 12: To Our Future**

**XXXXXXXXXX**

**_Before, we were headed towards a bitter end. We lost each other, yes, but even then, the hand of fate was kind. Our hearts still beat for each other…and our love still endured. And even broken, the pieces of our souls sought to meet again_**

**XXXXXXXXXX**

Byakuya stood by the window in his room in the fourth division, looking out over the Seireitei to where Kuchiki Manor stood in the distance. He thought back to his home there…to the walkways laid by a family of craftsmen his great grandfather had known, to the buildings that had housed the Kuchiki clan leaders through many centuries. He thought of the gardens, tended carefully by each new heir as he learned the value of all living things, and of the cool forest trails walked to cleanse and clear the mind that watched over the clan's interests. He remembered the sakura trees that had been there for as long as he could remember…and the special grove, where one was planted in honor of each clan leader. Lost though he might be, he knew his tree still flourished there. And night after night, his cousin went to kneel before it and to speak the prayer of longing for his lord's return. It was a burden to Tetsuya to lead. His cousin was capable, but did not seek the power or position. He had been the one to comfort Byakuya when the weight of leading became too much, to support always and to remind him of the reasons why he must endure despite sometimes wanting to turn and run. Yes, Tetsuya knew all of that and he would lead well. But to leave his beloved cousin in doubt about his fate…to let Rukia and Renji and all of the rest who cared about him wonder.

It was wrong…

So he knew that the only direction in which to move was forward, and the only thing to do was to do his best to return to them. But then there was Renji. Someone he loved with abandon. Someone he had longed to share all of himself with. How many times, he wondered, did they lie naked in each other's arms and wish that his commitment to his family did not stand in their way? And now, he was no longer burdened with leadership. He was no longer required to maintain distance. For the very first time, he could give Renji all of himself.

Not, he thought, that there was so much to offer…

But Renji had never been interested in what he possessed, only who he was, from beginning to end. He, of course, hated that noble responsibility held his lover back, but he sought to learn everything about Byakuya's life. Though he had never understood why, Renji learned the recitation of all of the Kuchiki clan leaders and listened to thousands of stories of their adventures as they lay together with the beautiful vibrations of their passion still echoing inside them. Renji might hate that his duty stood in the way, but he did not hate any part of Byakuya's whole self, which included his nobility. He showed deep respect of all that his lover was.

And Byakuya had returned that same loving interest, listening to Renji's stories of how he and Rukia had struggled to survive those early years in Inuzuri. Renji had been as eager to share everything as Byakuya had been to learn it. When it came right down to it, they loved each other as much for their differences as for their likenesses. There was, Byakuya thought, great beauty in seeing firsthand how much their creator enjoyed variance and growth in all life. Simply put, if they were meant to be all the same, they wouldn't have been made with these differences.

Still, knowing that fact and living it were two different things…and not so many people were as broad thinking and appreciative as they were. Yes, they were able to love across boundaries.

But now, they didn't have to anymore…

He thought back to the king's words and he wondered if this was what the king wanted him to face. This question of what or who was more important to him. Of where his loyalty would lie if truly given the power to choose his own fate. It was at once a beautiful gift and a crushing punishment. And perhaps he deserved it. Because although he had always honored his commitment to duty, he had often done it while concealing a less devoted, more conflicted heart.

So was it his absolute devotion that his king desired?

Or did his king simply seek to punish him for not being able to take the lie all of the way and marry the princess?

And what did he have left to offer his king, in any case? Everything had been taken from him. He owned nothing. He had no assurance of a next meal or a place to lay his head once he returned to Inuzuri. Yet even so, his heart was full and sated with his love for Emiko, his friendship with his former sister, Rukia and with his love for Renji, which he could now show in an unrestrained fashion. And once…just once, he wanted to give that very gift to this man who had brought so much to his life.

So he would, he thought, keep silent about what he remembered. Just for a short time. Just long enough to yield to Renji that part of himself that he had always been forced to withhold.

"What has you so mesmerized?" Renji's voice asked, startling him out of his reverie.

Byakuya turned and took in the beautiful sight of Renji, dressed in the livery of the captains of the Gotei 13, wearing the haori he had had made by his own craftsmen and set upon Renji's shoulders before offering the flustered redhead a solemn kiss on each cheek. He had been a captain long enough to stand proudly and to truly look the part. He was completely enchanting that way.

"Bya? Are you feeling all right?" he asked, frowning and moving closer.

Byakuya smiled.

"I am fine, Renji. It is just that when you came to see me in Inuzuri, you rarely dressed this way."

"Oh," the redhead said, looking down at his clothes, "I can change if it makes you uncomfortable…"

"No," Byakuya said, moving closer to him, "You have misunderstood me. I wasn't staring because you intimidated me. I was staring because you look so beautiful that way."

Renji flushed and smiled helplessly.

"Ah…uh…I…thanks, Bya," he said, as Byakuya curled into his arms and buried his face in the redhead's shoulder, breathing his scent in deeply.

Byakuya turned his head and sought Renji's lips. He closed his eyes and enjoyed again the light, tentative kisses of early love, then remained in the redhead's arms as Renji collected his scattered thoughts.

"Where is Emiko?" Byakuya asked to help settle his flustered love, "I thought she would be with us this morning."

"Oh," Renji stammered, still reeling from the kisses, "Rukia took her swimming again and then they were going to go over to the thirteenth division so she could watch some training exercises. They'll be back later. Rukia thought that would give us time to…I mean, give you time to settle in over at the cottage."

Byakuya looked up at him with troubled eyes.

"I still don't know that this is such a good idea," he said softly, "I am sure that Michio and Noa can assist me from this point…"

"Oh no!" Renji exclaimed, frowning at him, "Don't even start! You are not going back to Inuzuri until Captain Unohana says you are well enough. You need to be in better shape than this to begin putting your life back together. I get that you want to take care of yourself…"

"Very well, Renji."

"…but there are limits, you know? And you have to think of what's best for Emiko."

"I said, okay, Renji."

"Now, you may think that…"

Byakuya smiled and Renji froze, staring.

"Wh-what?" he stammered in a very uncaptain-like manner.

"I said, okay. I will stay."

"Just like that?" the redhead mused.

"Well, you obviously want this very much, and your argument that this is best for Emiko and me is valid. And though I may be a stubborn man, I am not stupid. I am very grateful for your hospitality…and for the affection you've shown me."

Renji looked at him more closely, blinked several times and shook his head.

"Is something wrong?" Byakuya asked.

"N-no," Renji said, pulling him close and kissing him again, "I just want to get out of this place. It kinda gives me the creeps."

"What, healers?" Byakuya asked, his lips breaking into an unbidden smile at what he knew was coming.

"No," Renji whispered in his ear, "_I fucking hate needles!"_

"There are plenty of those here," Byakuya chuckled, "Perhaps we should go."

"Yeah," Renji agreed, "We should."

They left the hospital room and walked out of the fourth division. Renji led him down the street and to the edge of town, where they found themselves in a lovely rural area with a scattering of cottages surrounded by fields, forest and calm, flowing rivers. Byakuya caught his breath as they moved in the direction of one that was nearly hidden in the trees and set at the edge of a small clearing in the forest.

"This place is enchanting, Renji," Byakuya said softly as Renji led him to the door of the cottage and stopped.

Renji produced a key and unlocked the door, then handed the key to Byakuya.

"That will be yours to keep."

He brought his fingers to Byakuya's lips to silence the automatic reply.

"It's for when you visit the Seireitei," he said placatingly, "because I hope that you will come here to see me sometimes, now that we are…seeing each other."

Byakuya smiled and nodded, then slipped the key into his pocket and followed the redhead inside. He stepped into the entry and instantly froze as realization swept over him in a heady rush. He swallowed hard, his eyes taking in the cabinetry that he knew Renji must have made by hand, the finely crafted furniture he also had to have made from the plans they had concocted while fantasizing about their future together. He could see out the sliding glass door across from them and into the gardens that were also a part of those plans they had dreamed up together. To see it brought to life in such a way was overwhelming.

Byakuya's legs weakened beneath him and he collapsed against Renji.

_This must be what he was going to show me that day…the day that the royal summons arrived._

He fought the tears that rose in his eyes and buried his face in Renji's shoulder, crying soundlessly.

"Bya? Bya, what's wrong?" Renji asked urgently, "Did I do something wrong? W-we can find another place if this isn't…"

"No," Byakuya whispered, "No, it's not that."

He held on to the redhead tightly, struggling to regain control. Renji's embracing arm anchored him and the fingers that ran through his hair slowly soothed him. He felt himself being lifted and carried down the hall, then deposited in a soft, comfortable bed. Renji knelt on the bed, holding him close.

"You should rest," the redhead said, lowering him onto the pillows, "I think maybe you pushed yourself too hard after just getting out of the healing center."

_Renji, this place is…breathtaking!_

He rested quietly, with Renji sitting beside him. After a fashion, he trusted his voice enough again to speak.

"You…made this place for…_him_," Byakuya said softly.

Renji stiffened.

"Oh," he said, sounding horrified, "I…Bya, I'm sorry. I didn't think that. I mean, I hoped that. No, that's not what I mean. Look, I'll be honest."

He took Byakuya's face in his hands and brushed away the tears.

"I admit that I did make this place for us, but, the truth is that Byakuya never even knew it existed."

Byakuya held his breath, staring into Renji's pained eyes and unable to move.

"I was going to bring him here. I'd worked on the place for months, building it from things we dreamed up while we were alone together. It was supposed to be a place we could go to get away from everything. But the day I was supposed to bring him to see it, the summons arrived from the spirit dimension, congratulating him on being chosen to marry the king's daughter. I'm really sorry, Bya. You don't have to stay here if you don't want to. It's just…it kind of felt good, knowing that someone would actually come and live here…even if it was just while you healed. But it was wrong…"

"No," Byakuya said, pulling Renji down and bringing their lips together, "It wasn't wrong at all. Renji, I'm not intimidated or upset by your remembrances of Byakuya. Something like this, such a powerful statement of your love for each other…makes me hopeful. I don't want that man's place in your heart. I want my own place inside you. So do not fear speaking of him to me. It seems that you had no outlet for that before. But you have one now. If we are to be involved, I think we must honor your past."

He smiled sadly.

"I don't have one, but you do. And to ignore that would be wrong."

"It's not like I'm still pining away thinking he's going to come back to me," Renji explained. I think it's just…I need to know what happened to him. I hate that he just disappeared like that. And that's what's making it hard to move forward. I need to know he's somewhere safe. That's all."

Byakuya nodded.

"That makes great sense," he replied softly, meeting the redhead for another gentle exchange of kisses, "I think that you honor him…and that…wherever he is, he will find a way to give you the reassurance you need."

"But it's been nearly a year, Bya. Where could he have been all of this time? And why hasn't he contacted anyone? Someone should know something. None of our investigations turned up anything, and no one knows him better than I do."

He shook his head softly.

"I have to stop doing this. He's gone and I may never know what really happened."

He laid down next to Byakuya, nuzzling close and resting his head on a soft shoulder.

"I have someone special in my life to think about. And I need to do _him _proper honor."

Byakuya closed his eyes as the redhead sank deeply into his mouth, exploring and pleasuring.

"It's too soon after your healing for us to make love," Renji whispered, "And maybe it's right that we should wait a while for that. But even though we're not going to make love, I want to lie down naked with you. I want get to know your body. And I want you to learn mine. Is that all right?"

_I already know every inch of you. Every curve, every hollow, everyplace rough or smooth. You are burned into my heart and I could never forget you…_

He met the hopeful red-brown eyes warmly.

"Yes," he answered softly, "It is all right. But I have one question. Renji, you are a captain. You have powers that I will never have. I know that you grew up in Inuzuri, but you have grown beyond it. The way I am, I never will. I don't have a future in the Gotei 13, and the only reason I am in the Seireitei is because you brought me here. Otherwise, I would not be allowed inside. And knowing all of that, why is it that you still desire me? What makes you think that we belong together?"

Renji smiled and didn't answer right away. Instead he climbed off of the bed and slowly removed his clothes, then he knelt next to Byakuya and removed his clothing as well. He laid his body on top of Byakuya's and looked deeply into his eyes.

"You said before that it doesn't bother you when I talk about Byakuya…and there is something that he said to me when I asked him the same kinda question. I loved the way he answered it…and that's how I want to answer you."

He slid a hand slowly down Byakuya's softly trembling torso.

_Kami…I remember this…_

"Look at our bodies," Renji whispered.

_Do you see any meaningful difference?_

"Do you see any meaningful difference?"

_The differences that exist…are the things that make us unique._

"The differences that exist," Renji said softly, "are the things that make us unique."

_Our creator loves variance, or else we would all be the same…_

"Our creator loves variance, or else we would all be the same."

He laid a palm over Byakuya's heart and kissed him lingeringly.

_It's what is in here that makes you unique. It is no wonder that the heart is where love is found. Our hearts are different, but they beat together now. They always will…_

"It's what is in here that makes you unique. It is no wonder that the heart is where love is found. Our hearts are different, but they beat together now. They always will…"

_Do not question anymore why I love you. I have entrusted to you the contents of my heart. It has been given freely. Only decide whether or not to accept it…and tell me honestly. Can you love me in return?_

"Do not question anymore why I love you," Renji whispered, "I have entrusted to you the contents of my heart. It has been given freely. Only decide whether or not to accept it…and tell me honestly. Can you love me in return?"

Byakuya stared into Renji's eyes and whispered back the same words the redhead had said to him in answer to that hopeful question.

"You never had to ask. I have been yours since the day we met…and I will be yours until the day I die."

Renji stared at him in disbelief. Knowing better than to allow the redhead sufficient time to think, Bya turned and dove into his mouth, assailing him with deep, hungry kisses and letting his hands explore the tanned and tattooed flesh. Renji opened his mouth to object and found it assaulted again, with no time given for him to regroup or to consider things too much. In moments, he was swept away. He melted into his lover's kisses and touches, forgetting all else but the feel of Bya's softly shaking body pressed against his, the desire in the gentle gray eyes, and the calm insistence in the body that held his down and despite his protestations that they should wait until he was well, brought the two together in a slow, passionate yielding to pleasure.

It meant nothing to Byakuya that as their bodies moved together, his lost all sensation and seemed to have left the ground, that his heart pounded so loudly in his ears that everything was drowned out and that as pleasure washed over them, his mind disappeared into a long devilish spin into darkness. He anchored himself to the one thing left that was his and his alone, and surrendered himself completely.


	13. Love While We May

**Chapter 13: Love While we May**

**XXXXXXXXXX**

_**Let us walk together under the bright blue sky. Take in the smell of flowers and grass, and feel the sun on our skin. Your smile warms my soul as the sun warms the earth. And the touch of your lips on mine is like the kiss of an angel. I follow the sound of your whispered words, and I know the pathway home is suspended on them. I listen and I trust them, and I seek you wholeheartedly.**_

**XXXXXXXXXX**

Byakuya woke to find himself alone in bed, Renji's warmth and scent all around him, but the redhead was gone. He slipped out of bed and stood for a moment, gathering his thoughts, then left the room and walked through the quiet house. He was nearly convinced that Renji had left, but as he neared the door to the garden, the redhead's voice sounded softly.

"I know I must be in love," he said softly, "because for the first time since you left me, I was able to think of something besides you. And when Bya and I were together, all I could think about was him. That's a good thing…ne? I'm supposed to get over you, right? It isn't an easy thing to do, Byakuya. Our love was one of the best things that ever happened to me. But there's something very special about Bya. He's beautiful, sure, kind, loving, peaceful, but he fights to survive. He protects those weaker than him. He listens well and he's really smart. He's like me, too. Life hasn't handed him much he hasn't bled for. We have something that you and I longed for, but couldn't have. We are all about each other. There's no group of elders putting down our love or interfering, no princess showing up to demand his hand in marriage. There aren't the complications of leadership. And let's be honest. When I was with you, I always felt kind of overshadowed…not like you did it purposely, but your reputation was so powerful…sorry, it was wrong to say that. I guess I just let myself get overwhelmed by it. You never tried to make me feel that way. You gave all that you could…and I will never complain that it wasn't enough…only that we didn't have enough time together. But what we had was a gift…and I will never regret it. Not even as I move on."

Byakuya backed away from the door, tears rising in his eyes. And they should, he thought, have been tears of joy for reaching a place with Renji that he had never been able to before. But there was a part of him that ached fiercely at being left behind. It was, knew, the price of being born noble, never more clear to him than now as Renji walked away from Byakuya, prince, clan leader and captain, to embrace Bya, a powerless peasant from Inuzuri, too weak to protect anyone, too poor to support himself and Emiko, but able to devote himself completely to Renji.

The choice made perfect sense, of course. Renji deserved to be loved by someone able to give his whole self to the relationship, someone who wasn't always forced to walk the line between duty and love…duty being the necessary choice too many times. And although Renji wouldn't fault him for it, he both wanted and wished for more simplicity.

And now, it seemed the redhead had gotten his wish…

Byakuya dropped wearily to his knees, just inside the door as Renji went on describing to 'Byakuya' how beautiful his love for 'Bya' was…how it was everything he had always wished they could have.

_He really wanted…this? For me to be penniless? Powerless? For me to have no family or name? Was it wrong for me to be born noble? Was there nothing good about having the power and the means to effect change? Now, Renji is the one of us with greater power and status. Was that really what he wanted? To be stronger than me? To have more? To make me dependent on him? Is that right? Because if it is…then…then he would have chosen someone like this. He would have chosen a poor man over Byakuya Kuchiki. But if that's right, then why did he choose me before? Was our love too painful for him? Did I make him feel small and insignificant? Powerless? Useless? Nameless. He was never any of those things, but being near Byakuya Kuchiki made him feel that way…didn't it?_

Tears ran down his face and he made no move to stop them. The room had gone deadly silent. He knelt near the door, a shaft of sunlight falling over him and warming his body. But the warmth couldn't reach him. He was frozen and isolated, despite Renji's presence.

_Kami…maybe this is what his majesty wanted me to see. Maybe this is why nobles and commoners shouldn't cross those boundaries…because when one does, someone gets hurt. Renji was hurt by my love, because I was noble and I made him feel powerless and poor. We crossed that boundary and we paid the price._

"B-bya?"

_That's it, isn't it? I learned nothing from having married Hisana. I thought that I was helping her by taking her out of Inuzuri, but marrying her, placing her among those who looked down on her and made her feel bad about where she was born and that she had nothing and no powers. Those things didn't matter to me, but they affected her. And when Renji and I were together, they affected him too. Renji was powerful, so the effect was lessened, but…_

"Bya, why are you crying?"

He hadn't even seen Renji enter the room.

_When I was with him before, I actually wished for this…this simplicity. I wanted it because it would have made the way easier for us. But I didn't know what I was asking for. Because in truth, I do miss who I used to be. I love my family. I did take pride in our name. I had power and used it for good purposes. And being a captain meant something to me. And I thought Renji loved me for who I was…but didn't he long for me to be different? Didn't he wish the elders weren't there between us…and that he would have my full attention?_

"Bya, please say something!"

_If he knew it was me…and given the choice, would he really want me to give up everything to be the poor peasant from Inuzuri who he loves now? Or would he still be able to love Byakuya, now that he has moved on?_

"I am sorry, Bya," Renji said, kneeling in front of him and wrapping warm arms around him, "Maybe you misunderstood what you heard me say."

_Who would you choose me to be, Renji? Would you really want me to give up everything? Everything? Would I still be myself, then? Or is it that you didn't love me, but what you wished I was. And now that you have this, you would not go back?_

"I love you, Bya," Renji whispered, kissing him.

Byakuya let his head drop onto the redhead's shoulder.

_So perhaps this was the king's intention…to show me that all the while I was yearning for Renji, and he thought he was yearning for Byakuya Kuchiki…really…we didn't belong together. We were too different, is that it?_

"I did love Byakuya," the redhead went on, "I loved him with all of my heart. But it wasn't meant to be. Byakuya and I were very different. As much as I loved him, I was always a burden to him."

_What? No, Renji, you were never that! Never! I never saw you that way!_

"He suffered because he was always taking crap from his family because of me."

No, it was because of their intolerance.

"He loved me with everything he had, but he carried so much guilt because he never thought he gave enough. I could see how much it hurt him to put his family over me…to put duty before us. I never blamed him, but he tormented himself over it."

_I never thought of it like that…never._

"He gave plenty. We both did. But sometimes, you give all you can and it isn't enough."

_Please, Renji, I know it's the truth now, but please don't say it…_

"Byakuya and I weren't meant to be together."

_Oh Kami, how can such beautiful words hurt like this?_

_When it comes right down to it, we chose a harder path by choosing each other. I'm not going to say it was a mistake. We learned so much from being together…and it made us very strong. I wouldn't change a thing about what used to be._

_But you see it now._

"But it's over."

_You accept it now._

"And I love you, Bya. You and I don't have the issues that Byakuya and I had. There are no boundaries between us."

_But you're wrong, Renji. The only difference is that now you are the one with power and privilege. You are the one who loves someone you shouldn't. Bya doesn't belong here in the Seireitei any more than Byakuya belongs in Inuzuri. Bya will be looked down on for being weak and penniless. Others will think you should have chosen someone more like you. The only thing that has changed really is that now I do not feel I am good enough for you._

"We can love each other freely. That's something Byakuya and I could never do. It's a gift, Bya…so let's just be grateful. Please don't cry. I love you. I don't want you to hurt like this. I want you to be able to tell me what is bothering you. Can you do that?"

_I want to go home…_

Renji's arms tightened around him.

_I want to walk in my own gardens…talk to my sister, and have her look me in the eyes and see who I really am. I want to feel power flow through me again. I want to be able to make a living without having to struggle so hard and start over so damned many times._

"We should get you back to bed now. You just got out of the hospital…and I knew we shouldn't make love before you recovered more. I just couldn't resist you. I love you too much, Bya."

_There is great irony in this._

"Come on," Renji said, lifting Byakuya and starting towards the bedroom.

_I am going to lose the king's challenge._

"You'll feel better after you've rested."

_I'm going to lose because Renji loves this peasant I am now more than he loved who I used to be. And then, I will really lose myself completely. Because when Renji doesn't see through to who I really am…I will lose my memory of being Byakuya Kuchiki. I really will be this other person…just Bya. I will be what he wished he had, so Renji will be happy. Mercifully, as I suffer the ultimate penalty for having defied my king, I will not feel it._

_I will lose myself completely._

_And Byakuya Kuchiki will disappear forever._

_Not even I will remember him._

_No one will. No one will miss him. No one will wish for his return. So did it mean anything to have been Byakuya Kuchiki in the first place?_

"I am sorry for worrying you, Renji," Byakuya said softly, as Renji set him in bed and tucked the blankets around him, "I was…just overcome because…I didn't expect to hear you say those things. I didn't realize how much you feel for me. I guess it's difficult for me to believe that someone like you would want someone like me."

"What do you mean, someone like you?" the redhead asked, "You mean, someone gentle? Protective? Loving? Stubborn? One who fights to make his own way? Who looks out for people weaker than him? Someone who doesn't give up and keeps fighting no matter how tough it gets?"

_Wasn't I all of those things before, Renji?_

"I meant…I don't fit into your life, Renji," he said quietly, "You would have to make excuses to people because powerless people don't belong in the Seireitei. And no matter how hard I try, I can't seem to even provide for myself, let alone Emiko."

"What are you saying this for?" Renji said, frowning, "Bya, you know that it doesn't matter to me that you come from Inuzuri."

_But it does matter._

"And you have taken care of yourself and Emiko. You've fought hard through awful circumstances. You have such strength in you…"

_I have nothing to offer you, Renji. And yet, you would choose me over Byakuya Kuchiki in a moment._

"Are you listening to a word I say?"

_Perhaps you only stayed with me because you knew I loved you…and we'd fought so hard to stay together…and there wasn't a 'Bya' to take you away from me._

"You know, Bya. I think I know why I went from loving Byakuya to loving you. I know why you were able to conquer my heart."

Renji took his hands and kissed him on the cheek.

"It isn't about being rich or poor, having to fight to stay together. It's not about power and names, or anything like that."

_What?_

"I am grateful to Byakuya, because it's because of our love, because of everything he was that I saw the beauty in you."

_I don't understand…_

"I want to be with an honorable man, one who is loving and protective, one who gives his whole heart to loving me and our family that we build. I want to be with someone who has the strength to keep fighting no matter what happens. Bya, you and Byakuya…"

Renji broke off as they heard the sound of a door opening and footsteps in the entry.

_What, Renji? What were you going to say…because inexplicably, when you said those things, I felt hope. Why?_

"We're back here!" Renji called.

A moment later, the door opened and Emiko burst into the room, followed by Rukia. Emiko slid to a stop by the bed, staring at Bya questioningly.

"You were crying?" she said, her eyes widening, "Were you hurt?"

Byakuya shook his head.

"I am fine, Emiko."

"No," the girl insisted, climbing onto the bed and wrapping her arms around him, "Something made you hurt…maybe not normal hurt, but hurt inside."

"I'm sorry, Emiko," Byakuya said quietly, "I shouldn't have let myself be overwhelmed. It was weak."

"No," said the girl, shaking her head, "You told me that it's okay to cry when I'm hurt. You said that crying gets the hurt out and lets you move on."

And so it does…

"What made you feel bad?" Emiko asked.

Byakuya smiled at her.

"Nothing. Honestly, I wasn't sad at all."

"What?" asked Emiko, looking confused.

"Renji told me that he is in love with me," Byakuya said softly, "And it just took me by surprise. I am really fine. Do not worry."

Emiko's face brightened and a smile broke out on her face.

"FINALLY!" she said, emphatically.

"Yes," said Rukia, looking up at Renji, "He finally got up the nerve to say it. You know, you've been pretty obvious, Renji. You should have told him a long time ago."

"No," said Byakuya, shaking his head, "I think Renji's timing was perfect. I was beginning to lose hope after the storm, but Renji gave me what I need to survive anything. And I know we'll be all right now."

"We will," agreed Renji, wrapping his arms around Byakuya and Emiko, "We will be fine, because we'll stick together."

_But what was it that you were going to say to me, Renji? What was it that made me really believe there is still hope? Because, despite all of my doubts, I still feel it. You are going to save me, aren't you? Somehow, you will see me. Somehow, you will break this enchantment. The only thing that weighs on me now is…that breaking the enchantment means you will lose Bya._

_Is it selfish for me to want to love you as myself?_

_Is it selfish for me to want myself back…and still to want you?_

_What is the 'right thing?'_

_I thought I knew before, but now I'm not so sure._

_The only thing that is certain is that I love you. This whole situation has only made me love you more. And whatever happens, I will not lose you. And despite the threat of losing myself, I will take comfort in knowing I won't lose you. So I can relax and breathe a bit. I can hold you and be thankful you are here. And I can hope that whatever happens in the end, we always have this._

_Love._


	14. A Day of Simplicity

**Chapter 14: A Day of Simplicity**

**XXXXXXXXXX**

_**Hand in hand, we take a new path, one lit with sunlight and bright with colors. Sweet scents and happy sounds are all around us. Storm clouds gather nearby and turn in our direction, but we know that with their darkness, they bring renewal. We accept the darkness and cold, because it always leads us back to this contentment.**_

**XXXXXXXXXX**

_Bya woke in the late hours of the night, shivering with cold and with a keen awareness that Emiko must be even colder. His breath billowed in the air as he took the blanket from his bed, left his bedroom, and took the blanket to lay over the girl. He was cautious not to wake her because he knew that she would refuse the gesture. He wrapped the edges carefully around her and left the room._

_It was not possible to sleep, so he put on a second yukata that was more thin and threadbare than the first and was long enough so that the ends could be wrapped around his feet if he sat down and curled his legs under him. He walked out of the living area and through the classroom and, because inside and outside did not vary greatly in temperature, he sat down outside the schoolhouse, looking up at the moon._

"_So cold," he whispered, "It's so cold…"_

_Not even thoughts of Renji could keep him warm._

_He heard a cough and turned toward the sound, the dream shifting and dropping him down onto a walkway at Kuchiki Manor. _

"_Byakuya," called Hisana's voice, "Byakuya, where are you?"_

_He turned in the direction of her voice and rushed to the door._

"_Hisana?" he called back._

_His vision flickered fitfully and he shivered as the cold returned and he heard Emiko crying._

"_What is happening? Where am I?"_

_He blinked several times and found himself back at the school in Inuzuri. Emiko cried louder and called his name._

"_Bya!" she sobbed, "Bya!"_

"_Emiko?" he said, walking through her door._

_The girl's bed was empty._

"_Do you need help finding her?" asked a familiar male voice._

_He turned towards the sound and inhaled sharply. Toru stood, holding the girl against him as Emiko struggled and cried._

"_Let her go," Byakuya said, stepping forward._

"_Huh," the brothel owner huffed, "What will you do if I don't? Wait…don't answer me, Bya. You don't have any powers. You have nothing at all, do you? Oh wait. There is always Captain Abarai, ne? You see, it is as I told you. You traded your body for his protection. So call him. Call your Renji, Bya."_

_Byakuya stared as Toru stepped aside and revealed a motionless body on the ground behind him._

_"R-renji?" he gasped, running forward._

_Toru released Emiko and pushed her behind him, then blocked Byakuya's access to the two._

"_What are you doing?" Byakuya cried, "You said that you would help me! You helped me time and time again and said we were friends!"_

"_You know I wanted more," said Toru, moving forward and taking hold of him, "I always wanted more, but I held back, thinking that eventually, you would come to your senses. But you didn't do that, Bya. You continued to cling to that man until I had to kill him."_

"_Renji is…?"_

"_Dead. I killed him."_

_Byakuya's eyes flashed._

"_You couldn't kill Renji!" he said angrily, "You couldn't kill a captain! You're not anywhere near powerful enough!"_

_Toru gave him a wicked smile._

"_Renji Abarai was too much in love with you. His love for you made him lower his defenses and I killed him. And now, you and Emiko are alone. You have no captain to protect you, Bya."_

"_You can't have…"_

"_Focus, Bya," the brothel owner went on, "Renji is dead, but Emiko is very much alive. You do want to save her, don't you?"_

_He saw the trap in the man's words clearly, but could not escape it. _

"_What do you want in exchange for her?"_

_Toru moved in close and wrapped his icy arms around Bya._

"_N-no!"_

"_You know what I want," he hissed, his body tightening and constricting around his captive's._

"_No!"_

"Bya?" said Renji's worried voice, "Bya, wake up!"

Byakuya jumped awake and tore free of Renji's arms before he realized where he was. He knelt on the bed, facing the surprised redhead, his heart racing and his chest heaving.

"Are you okay?" Renji asked, holding himself still, "It was a nightmare, ne?"

Byakuya nodded and released a steadying breath.

"I'm fine, really," he assured Renji as the red-haired captain moved closer and wrapped his arms around him.

Warm lips found his and red hair tickled his skin lightly as they exchanged several comforting kisses. Byakuya moved forward, spreading his thighs and settling onto Renji's lap, wrapping his legs around the redhead and making their awakening lengths touch.

"What was it about?" Renji asked between kisses.

"I was cold. It was winter and Emiko and I couldn't keep warm enough. And something bad happened. Something attacked us. I don't really remember much more."

"Well, it over," Renji whispered, kissing him and reaching down to encircle and caress him with a large, calloused hand, "You and Emiko are both fine."

"Something bad happened to you," Byakuya whispered, dropping his head onto Renji's shoulder and enjoying the motion of the redhead's hand on them.

"I'm not going to let anything bad happen," Renji assured him, brushing the hair off of his shoulder and nipping at the soft white flesh of his throat.

Byakuya sighed and moved his hips, deepening the pleasure of Renji's touches.

"I don't like feeling helpless…weak," he admitted, "and that place brings out all of my weaknesses until I can see nothing else."

Renji chuckled softly and kissed his frowning mouth until he couldn't help but kiss back with equal enthusiasm.

"Nothing about you is weak, Bya," he said, stopping to cup a hand around his cheek, "You know, I think I understand, though, why you feel that way. You see, when Captain Unohana examined you, she said that she was surprised to find that you have a full and very developed set of spirit centers."

"I…do?" Byakuya asked, blinking.

_She could see them? But then, it is obvious that she is far more powerful than she appears to be. I just had no idea…but even with her power, she didn't recognize me._

"Yeah," said Renji, kissing him open-mouthed and sliding his hand down further his fingers seeking his lover's entrance and sliding inside him, "and I think that means that you really do have powers. You just can't use them right now. Something happened to you…that night when they found you in Inuzuri. Something or someone very powerful sealed your spirit centers. It was done in away that no shinigami could do it. Captain Unohana says that it may have been done in the spirit realm. And she doesn't know a way to restore them. But even so…it makes you a shinigami. And it means that there is hope that your spirit centers will be freed from the seal someday."

_And if they are, it will be because of you…_

Renji took a short breath.

"It also means that you belong here," Renji said, looking into his eyes, "…in the Seireitei. Bya, I'm going to ask you something, and I don't want you to answer right away. I know it is…fast. And I know that your instinct is not to depend on people. Before whatever happened to you, you were obviously a powerful person, so that feeling makes sense. I know how I would feel if something like that happened to me. But even so, you shouldn't make your own life harder by refusing to take comfort that offers itself to you. You and I have known each other for nearly a year. It's not like we haven't known all along where this was headed…and now that we've said the words, we should make things official. I want you to marry me. I want you and Emiko to come and live with me…here. And before you say that you don't want to depend on me…that you need do things on your own, realize that I'm not offering to save you. I'm offering you an equal partnership in life. Yes, you will depend on me for some things, but I will also depend on you. Each of us will contribute to the whole of our life together. And I'm not doing it to 'get you out of Inuzuri.' I'm offering this, because I love you and I sincerely want to share the rest of my life with you."

Byakuya kept his eyes locked on Renji's as he lifted his hips and slowly joined their bodies together, making a soft sound of discomfort and tightening his fingers on Renji's shoulders as his body calmed and relaxed. Renji fell silent, gazing back at him through hazy, affectionate red-brown eyes and wrapping one hand around Bya's soft bottom. Their lips devoured each other's as Byakuya rose and fell on Renji's heated length. The redhead's hips thrust upward and he moaned hungrily into his lover's open mouth, sucking in Byakuya's tongue and teasing it with his own.

"Bya," Renji whispered breathlessly, "I love you so much!"

Byakuya buried his face in the redhead's hair and throat, holding onto his shoulders tightly and closing his eyes as the pleasure slowly became overwhelmingly intense.

"I love you too," he whispered back.

Renji lowered him onto his back, kissing him ferociously and shaking his body with hard, grinding thrusts.

_He's being less careful…being more himself. He was never so gentle as he was with Bya. I think he feared being too rough, but now he sees that he doesn't have to be. He can use his strength without fear of overwhelming me._

The redhead's mouth bit down harder and sucked on his flesh more deeply. His reiatsu flared, making a red glow rise around him. Byakuya ignored the feeling of suffocation that his body suffered, being in such close proximity to Renji's released strength.

_Yes! Do not hold back. I want to feel the full strength of my lover!_

He tore away from Renji and turned onto his hands and knees, gasping hard as Renji moved with him and took him roughly from behind. He raised his hips to meet the heavy thrust of Renji's hips and clenched his fingers in the riled sheets as the power flared hotly around them, licking painfully at his skin. A hard, passionate cry escaped him as the redhead's invading member found the center of pleasure inside him and struck it repeatedly until Byakuya's arms collapsed beneath him and he dropped heavily onto his stomach, hot seed erupting from his body in gripping, hard pulses.

Renji laid himself against Byakuya's back, lacing their fingers together and groaning in completion. Heat flared inside Byakuya and his head spun with the strain of bearing Renji's power being wrapped around him in such a way. His body hummed with life and pleasure so that he couldn't move, but he rested quietly beneath Renji, enjoying the touch of Renji's hot breath on his shoulder, the feeling of those strong fingers entangled with his, and the pleasure of their bodies still being joined as they slowly recovered.

"Yes," he breathed softly.

Renji caught his breath and his eyes widened. He started to pull away, but Byakuya tightened his fingers in Renji's, stopping him.. The redhead froze for a moment, then sighed happily and relaxed against Byakuya again. He pulled his lover's hair off of one pale shoulder and made a line of kisses up his throat to his ear.

"I'm going to assume," he whispered softly, "that you just agreed to marry me and to live with me here."

"You assume correctly," Byakuya whispered back.

Renji chuckled softly.

"I'm glad to see you've come to your senses," he said, licking his lover's earlobe.

"I have," Byakuya agreed, tilting his head to offer more flesh for the redhead's enjoyment, "but there is one condition."

"Hmmm…should I be worried?" Renji asked, attacking his throat with kisses.

"No," said Byakuya, sighing contentedly, "It is only that I want to continue teaching in Inuzuri."

Renji rested his face against Byakuya's for several minutes as he considered how to answer. Byakuya remained silent as well, waiting to see what Renji's response would be.

"It means a lot to you to help those kids, ne?" the redhead asked finally.

"Yes," Byakuya said softly, "I don't care about being paid. I just want to help them. They are all struggling so hard to stay alive. With the school in operation, they have a place to go where they can learn survival skills and things that will help them to find work later on, when they are old enough. And the ones who support the school also make sure that there is enough food for one good meal every day. Those things are important, Renji."

"Mhmm," the redhead agreed, "And I'm all for you doing that…but I have one condition of my own."

"Hmm?"

"When I'm not to occupied with my duties, I want to come and work with the kids on their kido skills."

Byakuya's lips spread into a lovely, unexpected smile.

"So you don't object to me staying on as a teacher there?" he asked, rubbing his cheek against Renji's.

"No, I have no objections. It's important work and it means something to you. So I am fine with it."

Renji lifted himself away and rolled onto his back, pulling Byakuya into his arms.

"So," said Byakuya, settling onto his shoulder, "When should we tell Emiko? When do you want to get married?"

He froze uncertainly as Renji caught his breath and squinted at him strangely.

"Renji…is everything all right?" Byakuya asked.

"Y-yeah," the redhead said, shaking his head, "It was nothing."

_You are beginning to see me. The enchantment is weakening…_

"And to answer your questions," Renji said, "the answer to both is the same. As soon as possible…"

His lips took Byakuya's hungrily.

"Today…now…"

"Now?" Byakuya whispered, hardly able to believe.

"Now," Renji affirmed, attacking his lips again, "Right now…"


	15. Snake Charm

**Chapter 15: Snake Charm**

**XXXXXXXXXX**

_**The circle closes around you. You look for the ones you held onto, the ones who you loved, but they have been scattered like petals on the wind. You stand alone now, naked and vulnerable…and wait only for my arms to wrap around you. I hold you tightly, and watch as you struggle to breathe.**_

**XXXXXXXXXX**

"Damn!" Renji hissed, breaking away from Byakuya's lips and scowling at the hell butterfly that floated into the room, "Always when…"

"It's just getting to the good part," Byakuya sighed, forgetting himself for a moment and finishing the redhead's sentence.

He caught himself and fell silent, hoping Renji would not pick up on the fact that he had just repeated what the redhead always said when work interrupted their couplings.

_I have to be more careful…_

Renji frowned and glanced back at him in surprise, but had his attention stolen by the offending insect.

_Captain Abarai, _the head captain's voice said solemnly, _There has been a serious attack on our forces stationed in Karakura Town. I have sent Rukia Kuchiki to check in with Kisuke Urahara and Ichigo Kurosaki, and to meet with our detachment and determine our needs, but you are to take a fresh unit and to protect our forces as we withdraw and replace them with a new team. We expect to complete the exchange in no more than a day or two."_

Renji sighed, smiled sadly and shook his head.

"Well," he said quietly, "I guess that gives you and Emiko some time to come up with some actual plans for our wedding. I mean, I'm all for going and getting married right now, but the head captain sounded kinda worried, so I'll get this done and ask for a short leave when I get back."

"Of course," Byakuya said, nodding.

He sat up and tied his yukata back in place, then watched as the redhead dressed in his shihakushou and haori.

"There's plenty of food and stuff here, so you and Emiko probably won't need anything, but if you do, just go to my division office. You remember, we passed it on the way here. I'll leave word with the officers staying behind that they are to see to whatever you and Emiko need."

He glanced back at Byakuya and furrowed his brow at the odd expression on his lover's face.

"What?"

Byakuya smiled.

"Nothing," he said, shaking his head and flushing slightly, "I was just reminded of something I saw on television in the living world once…where the husband kisses his wife on the forehead and wishes her a good day, then goes off to work and leaves her to her housekeeping. I don't know that I enjoy being…"

He noticed Renji staring at him oddly.

"You were in the living world, Bya? When?" he asked, sitting down on the bed, "Is this from before you were found in Inuzuri? Are you beginning to remember things?"

"I…"

He was interrupted by a soft tap on the door.

"Bya?" called Emiko's voice from outside the door, "Can I come in?"

"Yes, Emiko. Thank you for remembering to ask."

The door opened and the girl walked in. Seeing Renji, she gave a happy squeal and ran and jumped into the redhead's arms. Renji lifted her up over his head and gave her a kiss on the cheek. Emiko giggled and flash stepped to the bed, then offered Byakuya a calmer, but no less affectionate hug.

"You've been working on your flash step," Byakuya commented, nodding in approval.

"While you were in the healing center, Rukia and I played tag! And she took me to Karakura Town to meet her friends there. There was a lady with purple hair there who has the fastest flash step I ever saw!"

"Yoruichi," Renji said, smiling and shaking his head, "She used to give Byakuya a really hard time. He was fast, but she always seemed to stay just a step ahead of him. It was fun to watch them race, though. They were both amazing…"

_I think I would fall well short of amazing now, _Byakuya thought, lowering his eyes.

"Oh," said Renji, seeing his downcast expression, "Sorry."

Byakuya looked up at him.

"Sorry for what?" he asked softly.

"Well, when I mentioned Byakuya, you just…I don't know. You just looked kind of…sad."

"I told you, Renji. I am not bothered by you talking about Byakuya. I am just…still processing things. My life is changing rather rapidly and it's hard sometimes to keep up."

"That reminds me!" Renji said, smiling widely, "We haven't told Emiko what we decided."

"What you decided?" queried the girl, tilting her head.

Byakuya slipped a hand into Emiko's and looked up at Renji.

"Renji asked me if I would marry him…and if we would come to live with him here in the Seireitei."

"Really?" Emiko shouted, "For real? Bya!"

The girl hugged Byakuya tightly.

"I'm so happy!" she laughed, "We'll all be here now. We'll be together. And I don't have to worry about you being alone in Inuzuri when I go to the academy!"

"Oh, speaking of the academy," Renji said, "I was talking to Rukia and she mentioned that the academy is going to be starting a special program for younger shinigamis. You have to take a qualifying test and have an approved sponsor to be admitted. But Rukia looked at the qualifications and thinks it would be perfect for Emiko. She would live here, but would go to the academy with her sponsor. Rukia said she would act as Emiko's sponsor. She will definitely be approved as a sponsor, because she is a member of a noble family."

Emiko's eyes widened and blinked.

"I think you've left her speechless," Byakuya observed.

"I get to go to the academy now?" she mused.

"Well," said Renji, "You have to take the test to qualify first, but I know you'll pass. So anyway, we can have Rukia take you in for that as soon as she and I come back from Karakura Town…well, if Bya has no objections?"

Byakuya shook his head.

"I am very supportive of Emiko stretching her wings as a shinigami. She is going to do very well, I am sure. It was generous of Rukia to volunteer to sponsor Emiko."

"Great!" said the redhead, tousling the girl's hair and standing, "I'll talk to Rukia as soon as I see her. I have to go now. Don't want to keep the head captain waiting."

He hugged Emiko, then embraced and kissed Byakuya, before flash stepping away.

"He's always in a hurry," Emiko commented.

"He has important work to do for the head captain," Byakuya said, nodding, "Now, we should see about making some tea and breakfast."

"What kind of tea should we make?" Emiko asked.

Byakuya frowned and shook his head.

"It's funny," he commented, "I don't remember the last time you and I had any choice at all about what kind of tea to make. You choose."

"Okay," the girl agreed, grinning, "But if you think choosing our tea felt strange, wait until you see how many choices there are for breakfast! You may spend all day trying to decide!"

"Really?" Byakuya said, a slow smile touching his lips, "Well then, I had best begin considering my options, ne?"

Emiko laughed and grabbed his hand, then half dragged him down the hallway and into the kitchen. Upon reaching it, the girl immediately began preparing the tea. She opened the cupboard as Byakuya scanned the food supplies. He was in the midst of choosing between several options, when a soft sniffle caught his attention. He glanced at Emiko and caught his breath as he realized the girl was standing in the middle of the kitchen with the tea in hand, and her face was drenched in tears. Byakuya knelt next to the distraught girl and wrapped his arms around her.

"Emiko," he said quietly, "What is it? What's wrong, child?"

The girl took a gulping breath, sniffed and wiped her eyes.

"It…it…" she stammered, "B-bya…it's just. I'm not sad! Really, I'm not! I'm so happy that we have enough food now! B-but, I thought of Michio and Noa and my friends, Aika and Nobu and Shigeru. They are still hungry, Bya. Our friends there are still hungry!"

Byakuya bit his lip and took a careful breath, his arms still tightly wound around Emiko.

"Emiko," he said, helping to brush her tears away, "That is one of the hardest things for me to accept also. But…remember, Renji also came from Inuzuri. He knows how difficult people have it there. Even after growing up and becoming a powerful shinigami, he never forgets. That is why he and Rukia travel to Inuzuri from time to time taking food and clothes to the people there. And now that we will be living here with Renji, we also can go back with them and offer our friends some help. We have more power to do that because we will be living here. Do you understand?"

Emiko nodded.

"I know, b-but it's cold outside and I can't stop thinking that Aika's coat is too thin and Shigeru doesn't have any shoes…ever! I think about it every time I get dressed and every time I try to eat!"

Byakuya smiled at her and brushed away several new tears.

"That is because you have a very kind heart, Emiko," he said, kissing her forehead, "And that means that you will never take what you have for granted. And when you are a strong shinigami like Renji, you too will remember where you came from. You will go back and you will help others who are less fortunate than you."

"B-bya?"

"Hmmm?"

"Do you think it would be all right if we went there now? Could I take a coat to Aika and a pair of shoes for Shigeru?"

Byakuya nodded.

"Renji left some money for us to use for our needs. It is more than enough to buy a warm coat and a pair of shoes. And if you like, we can take some food to them as well. Will that ease your mind, child?"

Emiko sniffed and nodded.

"C-can we go n-now?" she asked.

"Of course…but perhaps we should eat something first," Byakuya suggested, "It is a long trip."

Emiko's face fell.

"Oh, but Bya, you just got out of the healing center!" she objected, "You're supposed to be resting and not bumping your head!"

Byakuya chuckled softly.

"I am feeling much better," he assured her, "and I promise that I will be very careful not to bump my head. Will that satisfy you?"

"Okay," said the girl, picking up the tea and moving to the counter, where she climbed up on a chair and began to prepare it.

Byakuya stood and quickly chose and prepared their breakfast. The two sat down and slowly devoured the food and tea, then dressed in fresh clothes and left a note for Renji before locking up and leaving the cottage. They walked back into town and stopped briefly at a clothing store, before leaving and heading for the main gate that led into the Rukongai. They stopped to rest and buy ice cream from a vendor in the second district, then continued on to Inuzuri. They reached the town in the mid-afternoon and turned towards Michio and Noa's building.

"Well, Bya and Emiko," said a familiar male voice, "I was wondering if you were going to return to Inuzuri. I thought that perhaps Renji, the captain shinigami, had stolen you away from us for good!"

Emiko dropped back behind Byakuya and clung to his clothing.

"Greetings, Toru," Byakuya said quietly.

"So is it true, then? Are you moving to the Seireitei?"

"I was recovering from my injuries," Byakuya said, starting to walk again.

Toru fell in with them and Emiko kept Byakuya carefully placed in between them.

"So…" Toru went on, "The school board received an anonymous donation to rebuild the school. There is a dedication of the property tonight and the owner of the building two down from mine has said that you may hold classes there until the new school is finished. I have been about gathering replacement supplies and working with a group to prepare the place. We are finishing this afternoon, so if you wish it, classes can resume tomorrow."

"That soon," Byakuya mused, "That is good, but I can't help feeling a bit surprised."

"Well, no one really wants the little ones to have to go without food and proper education. But listen to me. I'm going on, assuming that you will be staying on as teacher. If Renji is about to sweep you away, then perhaps you will not wish to return to teaching."

"Toru," said Byakuya with finality, "even if I left Inuzuri tomorrow, I would still want to teach the children. It is an important job."

"Yes," said Toru, nodding, "I knew you took your work very seriously, Bya. So…you will be ready to start up again tomorrow?"

"Yes," Byakuya said, nodding, "We will find a place to stay and…"

"You don't need to search," Toru assured him, "You can stay at the temporary school building tonight. We are going to be finished before dinnertime. And I will make sure there is a nice meal waiting for you, courtesy of the school board…to welcome you back."

"Well, arigato," Byakuya said, nodding briefly, "Emiko and I have some errands to run, so we will see you later."

"Yes, of course," Toru answered, then he watched quietly as the two walked away.

As soon as they were out of sight, he flash stepped back to his building and set himself to preparing the meal for the two. He placed the prepared food into a woven basket and then reached into one of the drawers and took out a small vial. He smiled wickedly and secreted it in his shirt, then took the basket of food and left his building, walking down the street to where the temporary school stood. He entered the building and checked carefully to make sure everything was ready for the next day. He placed the basket of food on the table and set out plates and utensils. He waited, sitting at the table and gazing quietly at the basket of food until he heard the door open and Bya came in, followed by Emiko. The girl's expression darkened slightly when she saw the brothel owner, but she was cordial as he laid out their meal.

"Wash your hands, Emiko," Byakuya reminded the girl.

Toru waited until the two were looking away, then opened the vial and loosed a drop into Emiko's food. He stirred it in, then straightened and smiled at the girl as she sat down facing Byakuya.

"I have to be off," he told them, "I am expected at the dedication ceremony for the new building."

"Well, arigato, once again, for bringing us dinner," Bya said.

The two watched the brothel owner leave and ate quietly for several minutes after he left.

"Bya?" Emiko queried, breaking the silence, "he kind of scares me."

"Do not worry," Byakuya assured her, "We will be careful around him."

He sighed softly.

"I know you do not trust him. And I have my own doubts about him. However, he hasn't done anything threatening, so we will just be careful around him. As I told you before, do not go anywhere alone with him, and tell me immediately if he ever does anything that seems wrong to you."

"Okay, Bya."

The two finished the food and cleared the table, then prepared for bed. Emiko scampered to Byakuya and hugged him tightly.

"Thanks for letting me take Aika and Shigeru things to keep them warm. They were really happy, Bya! I feel a lot better knowing they won't be so cold."

"Me too," Byakuya said, smiling, "Now get to bed, child. We will be busy with school tomorrow."

"Okay. Good night, Bya," the girl said, kissing him on the cheek.

"Good night, Emiko."


	16. The Fever

**Chapter 16: The Fever**

**XXXXXXXXXX**

_**Small and bright, you are the finest of flowers in the garden. I treasure your color and beauty, but I am at a loss for what to do when winter comes and you begin to wither and fade…**_

**XXXXXXXXXX**

"_Byakuya Kuchiki."_

_It had been so long since anyone had recognized him that he didn't respond right away, but looked up into the aged face of the man in front of him. _

_No, not a man…a god._

_He caught his breath in surprise._

"_My lord," he said, dropping to his knees before the spirit king. _

_He felt as he had before, the king's disapproval. His head bowed and his eyes closed as he waited for the king to go on._

"_There is something I don't understand," he said quietly, "I gave you one year to reawaken the love you shared with Renji Abarai, the love that made you defiant to my will. I gave you this time and even set you on a collision course. You have made progress, but time is running out and still, though you have remembered yourself, and you have recognized him, Renji Abarai is only beginning to 'see' you. I feel a reluctance in you. Why?"_

_Byakuya's eyes opened and he looked up at the spirit king._

"_I know that time is running out," he acknowledged, "but Renji has, as you said, begun to break the spell. And we are to be married. I am confident that he will see me in time to end the enchantment."_

"_You do not understand," the king said, frowning, "Renji would have seen you already, but something inside you is preventing that."_

"_S-something inside…me?" Byakuya repeated, his brow furrowing in confusion._

"_You are at odds with yourself," the king explained, "And your uncertainty about who you are is interfering with Renji's ability to see you. In the time that is left to you, you must resolve this confusion or he will not be able to break the spell."_

Byakuya felt the dream fade and sat up in the darkness, his heart pounding strangely. He wasn't sure what had brought him awake, but he listened deeply and heard Emiko make a soft sound of discomfort. Thinking the girl was likely having a bad dream, he climbed out of bed and walked over to the other side of the partitioned room where they slept. He sat down in a chair beside her bed and touched her face gently to wake her. To his surprise, the girl's face was hot and even in the dark, he could see the redness. She shifted uncomfortably and shivered in her sleep and when he tried again to wake her, she didn't respond.

"Emiko," he called softly, "Emiko, can you hear me? Wake up, Emiko."

After several tense minutes, he realized that she was not likely to respond, and lifted the blanket-wrapped girl out of bed. He carried her out of the building, heedless of the fact that he was wearing only a thin yukata and his feet were bare.

"B-bya?" said a soft male voice, startling him.

"Toru…" Byakuya breathed, "What are you…?"

"I have been up most of the night," the brothel owner explained, "It seems there is a dangerous fever sweeping through the town. Several of the school board members, some of my whores…even several groups of the street children have come down with it."

He glanced down at Emiko and his face paled.

"I have to get her to the fourth division in the Seireitei!" Byakuya said insistently.

"You don't understand," Toru replied, placing a hand on his arm, "Bya, the shinigamis have quarantined the town…well, this one and a few others. This fever is spreading rapidly and they have to stop it. The shinigamis will attack you if you try to leave the town!"

"B-but…" Byakuya said, wide-eyed, "We have to do something! Emiko is horribly ill!"

"I know," Toru said, looking sympathetic, "Let's get her to Michio. He's very busy with all of the ones who are already ill, and Noa has been stricken with this, but maybe he can help."

Byakuya swallowed hard and nodded, then followed Toru through the darkness to Michio's building. When they arrived, they found the doors standing open and nearly all of the beds were occupied by sick and dying people.

"Oh…" said Michio, gazing down at the girl in Byakuya's arms, "Oh…take her into the room with Noa. Wash her face with a cool cloth and make her comfortable."

"Can I help you with any of these?" asked Toru.

"The ones here are holding their own, but there have been a number of deaths," said the healer, "mostly older folk and…"

He trailed off, gazing sadly at Emiko.

"…children," he finished.

"Michio," Byakuya said desperately, "Is there any way to reach the Seireitei?"

The healer shook his head.

"We have been quarantined. Right now, no one is allowed to leave the town. Those who try are being killed. There seems, as of yet, to be nothing that will cure this. But healers from the unaffected towns are trying to come up with something. The ones of us in the quarantined towns are just trying to keep as many of the ill as possible alive until a cure is found. Bya, I need you to watch over Noa and Emiko. Toru, come with me and help with the others."

"Hai," said the brothel owner as the healer turned to go.

Toru turned back to Byakuya and placed a hand on his shoulder.

"I will be back later to check on you. Try not to worry, Bya. I am sure that they will find a cure for this soon."

Byakuya nodded silently and watched him leave, then set Emiko in bed and washed her face gently. He left her side to tend to Noa, then returned to her and settled next to her bed in a chair. He tried to summon a hell butterfly and caught his breath in surprise when he found he could not.

"A full quarantine," he whispered, "Not even the hell butterflies are being allowed to leave…"

He remained in the room with the old woman and Emiko, keeping them as comfortable as he could as the illness ravaged their systems. Several times, out of sheer restlessness, he left the room to assist with the other sick people, but he returned frequently to check on the two. As the night faded and morning came, Byakuya felt panic setting in. The old woman and the girl were still unconscious and their condition seemed to only be worsening. He sat at their side, washing their faces and talking to them in soothing tones. He tried desperately to wake Emiko, but could not get the girl to respond in any way. He was nearly at his breaking point when Michio returned and stepped into the room to check on Noa and Emiko himself.

"What have you heard?" Byakuya asked quickly.

The old healer gazed at him, exhaustion and sadness in his aged eyes.

"They haven't found a cure yet," he said softly, "and we are still under quarantine. People are getting desperate. A few have escaped…or so they think, because new cases have showed up in other towns. The situation is growing worse and worse. Toru says that he has heard that a healer a few towns over may be close to finding a cure, so we should hear something soon."

"You must rest a bit, Michio," Byakuya said, placing a hand on the healer's shoulder, "You must take care of yourself as you are all these people have."

The old man nodded briefly and dropped into the bed next to his unconscious wife.

"Wake me in two hours," Michio mumbled, dropping off to sleep.

Byakuya sighed and returned to the chair next to Emiko. He leaned against the bed, his face in his hands and weariness making him feel sick inside. He heard the door open and close behind him, but didn't move. He couldn't look away from Emiko. And all that his exhausted mind could focus on was how her face reminded him of the way Hisana's had looked as she lay dying.

_Please, Emiko…please don't leave me. You have to get well…_

"Bya?"

He felt an arm wrap around him and a gentle hand brought his head to rest on a warm shoulder.

"You have to get some sleep," Toru said, sending a soft bolt of kido through him that left him with a feeling of slowly falling, "Sleep, Bya. I will watch over the two of you. I won't let anything bad happen to you. I heard there is a cure being made in one of the other towns. It is going to be all right. Sleep, now."

He did sleep for a time, but his dreams were filled with darkness…pain…death. The ghosts of his parents, of Hisana and of friends he had lost in battle came back to haunt him as he moaned softly and shifted against Toru's shoulder. He woke a few hours later to find that Michio had gone. Toru still held him and had laced their fingers together as he slept. He would have been a little unnerved, but was too overwhelmed to go to the effort of the emotion.

"She's hanging in there," the brothel owner told him, "and you look better for having gotten some rest."

"Arigato, Toru," Byakuya said quietly, "Thank you for watching over her so I could sleep."

"It wasn't much," Toru said, giving him a sad smile, "but it's all I can do to help, I'm afraid.

He would have said more, but was interrupted as the door banged open and Renji flash stepped into the room. Seeing the redhead, Byakuya tore himself away from Toru and threw himself into Renji's arms.

"Gods, Renji, I am so glad to see you!" he said in a shaky voice, "Tell me this means that the quarantine has been lifted and we can take Emiko to the fourth division!"

Renji sighed softly and his arms tightened around Byakuya.

"I wish I could tell you that," he said quietly, burying his face in Byakuya's hair, "but that's not how it is. The borders between all of the towns are being closely guarded. They think they have it contained now, and they're working on a cure as fast as they can."

"But you…"

"I came in, but I can't leave either. They let me in because I'm a captain. But even a captain can't get out once exposed. I have to stay here too, Bya. But we're together now. Everything's going to be all right."

"This is all my fault," Byakuya said, tears coming to his eyes, "If we had just stayed in the Seireitei, this wouldn't be happening! It's just that…Emiko was worried about her friends and wanted to bring them some warm things to wear. And when I got here, Toru said that a temporary school had been set up in town. Emiko and I were there when she became ill. Renji, she was fine before we left! I know she was! I don't understand how this happened!"

"I don't either," the redhead admitted, shaking his head, "but it's going to be all right. We'll take care of Emiko and Noa, and they'll be okay."

Byakuya couldn't think of a response, but nodded into Renji's shoulder. The redhead took his face in both hands and kissed him several times, then turned him back towards Emiko. Toru rose quietly and watched as the two sat down next to the girl. He left the room and returned a few minutes later with two cups of tea.

"I thought this might help settle you, Bya," he said, handing the dark-haired man one of the cups. He nodded to Renji and handed him the second. "I am glad to see that your presence has calmed Bya. He has been beside himself since she became ill. It is too bad that you did not bring better news…or hope of a cure."

"Y-yeah," agreed the redhead, taking a sip of tea, "Um, thanks, Toru. Look, I have things here. I'll take care of these three. I think Michio needs some help. An order came from the Seireitei telling him to burn the bodies of the dead to keep this better contained. He'll need men to see to that."

"Hmmm," said Toru, turning away, "I'll leave it to you, then, to watch over them."

Renji turned at the sound of something falling onto the floor. He spotted Byakuya's teacup on the floor at his feet and Bya sitting with his upper body resting on the bed, his head buried in his arms. He wrapped an arm around the man's shoulders, his eyes sad as he registered the soft, silent sobs that had overtaken him.

_Thank Kami I'm not myself, _Byakuya thought miserably, _It is a relief to be able to shed tears and not feel like it's wrong…_

"Bya…" murmured Renji, tightening his arm around the distraught man, "Bya, she'll be okay."

"She has to be," Byakuya whispered through the tears, "I can't _do _this again! I can't…I just can't. I can't sit here and do nothing and watch Emiko die like…"

He stopped himself, turned and buried his face in Renji's shoulder.

"I'll never forgive myself if Emiko dies, Renji. It's my fault for bringing her here!"

"It is not your fault," Renji insisted, "Stop saying that! There was no way that you could have known. You and Emiko were just trying to help her friends. You didn't do anything wrong. So stop trying to put the blame on yourself."

Renji pulled away for a moment and brushed the tears away from his eyes. He smiled encouragingly and handed him the tea.

"Here, have some of mine. And take a few breaths. You're just overwhelmed. You've had it really tough for the past year and you have to be worn out from fighting so hard to hold the pieces of your life together, Bya. But you can't give up now. Just…hang in there. I really believe it will be all right. You have to believe that too."

He brought Byakuya's head to rest on his shoulder.

"Try to sleep a little more, okay. You'll feel better if you do, and maybe when you wake up, there will be word on a cure for this."

Byakuya nodded silently and closed his eyes. He felt an odd chill pass through him and his skin felt unusually hot. Renji's hands seemed to burn against his skin. He wanted to ask the redhead what was happening, but couldn't drag himself to the surface to speak. Renji's arms loosened and let go of him. Byakuya felt himself slide out of the chair and onto the floor. He expected Renji to wake, but as he turned his head, he realized that Renji was on the floor next to him.

The door to the room opened and someone came inside and knelt down next to him. His fevered mind barely registered the garbled words and he could only make partial sense of them.

"Damn it! You drank from his cup, didn't you? What were you thinking? Baka!"

Cool water was brought to his lips, then as his consciousness faded, a drop of something bitter was placed on his tongue. Everything disappeared for a time after that, and when Byakuya woke, he found himself lying in a cot that had been brought into the room. Renji lay nearby on another cot, his face looking flushed and feverish.

"Wha-what happened?" he asked, sitting up, then grabbing his head as pain shot through it.

"It's all right. Lie down," Toru said, easing him onto his back again, "You just collapsed from exhaustion. Michio said that you don't have the fever…but your captain friend, Renji, does. We made him comfortable and he's holding his own. Now rest, will you? You aren't going to do yourself or us any good if you are unconscious."

Byakuya shook his head to clear it and sat up.

"What are you doing?" asked Toru, "Lie down!"

"I've sat around being useless for long enough," Byakuya said quietly, "I'm going to take care of them. I'm going to make sure they survive long enough for a cure to be found. They are my family and I have to take care of them."

"Y-your family? Bya, Emiko is an orphan…a street kid, and Renji isn't…"

"Renji and I are getting married," said Byakuya, "We are going to raise Emiko as our own daughter."

"What? You are…marrying the squad captain?"

"Yes. Renji asked me to marry him and I said I would."

The brothel owner was silent for a moment, then he smiled.

"Well, hopefully, everything will work out for you."

Byakuya frowned.

"But I thought that…"

"Bya," said Toru, smiling, "I might have been a little offended for a while, but I wasn't blind. I knew you were falling in love with him. I just…underestimated his feelings for you. But that isn't important just now. Look, I want to talk to you about something else. While you were unconscious, word reached me that a healer a few towns over has found something that has helped to cure the ill there. I have an associate who says that he can get some of the compound, but it is terribly expensive. I would go ahead and pay him, but I helped to pay for some of the building costs for the new school and the money I have has to be paid to my creditors very quickly. Is there a way that Renji could…"

Byakuya shook his head.

"He is unconscious and I haven't been authorized to act on his behalf yet. Toru, we have to get that cure into Inuzuri. Emiko and Noa are barely hanging on. And now Renji is ill. We need it now!"

"I know," said the brothel owner, "I've been working on that. And I have an idea that will get us that cure and keep me from going bankrupt. You aren't going to like it, but with everything on the line, this is all I can think of to do."

Byakuya stared at Toru, reading his expression.

"No, Toru!" he said, anger rising up inside, "There is no way in the three worlds I will…"

"Bya, listen to me!" exclaimed the brothel owner, "Emiko and Noa are dying! People out there are dying right and left! I would think of another way if I could, but I can't! I will give the guy the money for the cure, but I need you to help me earn it back so that I don't get beaten to death by my creditors…"

"Toru…I can't do that. I can't."

Toru's lips tightened. He took a sharp breath, then sighed.

"All right. I will try to convince him to let me pay him later or something, but Bya…"

He froze as Byakuya made a sound of dismay and leaned over Emiko.

"She…she isn't breathing," he gasped, "Toru, bring Michio quickly!"

The brothel owner flash stepped away as Byakuya leaned over the girl and began to breath for her. He could still feel her heart beating, but had to give her several breaths before the girl coughed, moaned and began to breathe on her own again. Michio rushed into the room and examined her, then used a kido spell to slow her systems.

"I am placing her in a suspended state for now. It's all I can do. We have to have that cure soon. I would say that even in suspension like this, Emiko only has a day or two."

Byakuya dropped into the chair next to the girl and slipped a hand into hers. Toru's hand came to rest on his shoulder.

"I'm sorry," he said softly, "I wish there was something I could do."

Byakuya stared silently at Emiko's pale face for several long minutes. Finally, he gave a long, shuddering sigh.

"Promise him the money if the cure heals them," he whispered finally.

"B-bya?" Toru queried, "You…you mean you will…"

"Perhaps Renji will wake quickly enough to make the payment for it. If not…"

He left the comment hanging as Toru rose and turned towards the door.

"I'm sure he'll wake in time. But even if he doesn't…I know how we can make enough in one night to pay the money back. There is a man who has come to Inuzuri several times. He saw you and asked if I could arrange something for the two of you. He's very rich and says that you look like someone he is in love with, but can't have. He doesn't want anyone to know he would visit a place like mine, so he will keep quiet about it."

"Toru…just get the cure…now."

"Hai!" the brothel owner exclaimed, flash stepping to the door, "It will be all right, Bya. They'll all be cured in no time!"

He disappeared out the door, leaving Byakuya sitting quietly between Emiko and Renji's unconscious forms.

_I don't care what it costs or what I have to do. I am not letting you and Emiko die, Renji. Maybe Byakuya Kuchiki would have had to stand by and watch you die. He would never lower himself to this…but…you will wake soon enough. You will pay Toru back._

_And no one will ever know what I had to promise him._

_And I'll never have to lower myself to do…that._

_I would do it if I had to._

_I would do anything to save you._

_But having put myself in that position, I could never let you or anyone else know it was me. I would have to lose the king's challenge. I would have to lose myself completely. Byakuya Kuchiki would be disgraced if he even considered such an act._

_But I am not Byakuya Kuchiki anymore._

_I am just Bya, and I have no money and no power to save you other than this._

_And if I have to do this to save you…then Byakuya Kuchiki must disappear and never return._

_Byakuya Kuchiki will have to die._


	17. The Face of Nobility

**Chapter 17: The Face of Nobility**

**XXXXXXXXXX**

_**Do not look at me. I am the picture of disgrace. All that was noble and worthy about me has fallen away and my core is exposed. I was never what they made of me. You always knew this…and that is why you loved me. Do you love me still?**_

**XXXXXXXXXX**

Toru's lips curved into a secret smile as he watched Michio lean over Emiko, then Noa, then Renji, placing a drop of the healing compound in each of their mouths. Within minutes, their fevers broke and their color began to improve. Toru waited until he saw Renji begin to move in his sleep. He approached Byakuya and touched him lightly on the shoulder. The man stiffened beneath his hand, making the brothel owner's smile widen.

"Bya," he said quietly, "He is waiting. We need to leave now. Michio has said they will be fine. We can't keep him waiting, because he is a very powerful man, and he has already waited while we made certain these three were taken care of."

"T-toru…" Byakuya said hesitantly, choking on the name.

"I will go over and stall him for a few minutes. Do what you need to do and meet me there. But do not take long. I don't know what he'll do if he becomes impatient and we cannot afford for him to leave without…"

"I understand," Byakuya whispered, "I will be there shortly."

Byakuya leaned over and kissed Emiko on the cheek, then turned to Renji and kissed him on the mouth. His fingers traced the outline of the redhead's face lightly and he could see that Renji was trying to open his eyes. They opened into fevered slits, but could not seem to focus on him.

"It will be all right," he whispered, "You and Emiko will be all right. I have to see to something…and after doing this, I have to leave here. I know you won't understand, but once this is done, I will forever be unworthy of you. I am just thankful that you and I were able to find each other again. You were the love of my life, Renji Abarai, and I will never forget you…even as I lose myself. But you don't need me anymore. No one needs Byakuya Kuchiki. You will have Bya. You will all be happier that way. Let the dishonor fall on Byakuya Kuchiki. Let him die and disappear. I will take on this new form…and everyone will be happier for it. The clan has a leader. Rukia has you. And you and Emiko will have Bya. Byakuya Kuchiki can rest in peace, having given himself up for the ones he holds most dear."

He kissed the redhead's lips one last time, then quietly rose and left the room. As the door closed behind him, Renji stirred and opened his eyes. His head turned in a shaky, unsteady motion to look at the door and he inhaled lightly. His eyes widened.

"B-byakuya!" he said, remembering.

XXXXXXXXXX

Byakuya's heart fluttered painfully in his chest as he approached the last place he ever thought he would willingly go. A shiver went through him and he swallowed hard as his hand wrapped around the door handle and he stepped inside the brothel. He was surprised at how tastefully decorated the place was…but then, it had to be so to attract the more wealthy.

"Oh…Bya, thank Kami," sighed Toru, spotting him, "Your client is here. He is waiting, so you'll need to change quickly. Your clothes are in here. Come with me."

Byakuya took a shuddering breath and followed Toru into the next room. On the wall hung an expensive red kimono with a deep black pattern of flowers and birds, and golden embroidery.

"You won't need any makeup," said Toru, "Unlike most of my whores, you have perfect skin and hair that doesn't need any extras. Come."

Byakuya moved forward and stood quietly as Toru slipped in behind him and slowly undressed him. He kept his face hidden so that the other man could not see the cruel shine in his eyes and the predatory smile that took over his face at the sight of Bya's perfectly built, if slightly, thin body, the vast expanses of unblemished pale skin, the long, shining waves of raven black hair. Toru felt himself harden at the sight. He had to work hard to suppress the urge to force the other man down and take him then and there, but he hadn't gone to all of the trouble to merely accost Bya in his dressing room. There was another room that awaited the raven-haired man…and once he entered that room, no one would ever see Bya again…except for him.

Toru smiled as he set the red kimono in place and touched Bya's face lightly. His arousal throbbed again at the way the raven-haired man flinched at his touch. It was like some part of him knew the trap that was about to be sprung.

_I have dreamed of this and planned this…ever since that first night. You are mine now, Bya. You will never leave me._

"Come this way," he said softly, leading Byakuya out of the dressing room and down a long hallway, a winding set of stairs that went downward, and down another long hallway. They stopped at a black door and Toru turned to Bya to offer him some final advice.

"Bya," he said bracingly, "I know you don't want to do this, so I will drug you so that you won't suffer. When you wake up again, it will be over…and your debt will be paid."

"I will not need any drugs," Byakuya said in a trembling voice.

Toru frowned, but nodded and opened the door. Byakuya felt his mouth go dry and his heart began to beat hard in his chest. He followed Toru into the room and heard the door close behind them.

"Wh-where is…he?" Byakuya asked softly.

"He will come in after I prepare you. He wants to take you in a certain way. Lie down."

Byakuya looked down at the bed and spotted the restraints…and off to the side, a gag and blindfold.

"T-toru…" he said in an unsteady voice.

"He likes to restrain, but he won't hurt you, I promise," Toru explained, "Just lie down and be quiet, Bya. It will be over before very long."

Byakuya tried to make himself move and couldn't.

"I…Toru, I can't do this…"

Toru moved in close, wrapping an arm around Byakuya and bringing his lips to the man's ear.

"Of course you can," he whispered, "You are doing this for Emiko…for Noa…and for your Renji. You saved them, Bya. Now all you have to do is lie down with this man and it will be paid for."

Byakuya caught his breath as Renji's reiatsu touched him. His eyes widened and he pulled away from Toru and returned to the door.

"Renji is awake," he said, smiling, "I feel it. Toru…he can pay you back. We don't have to do this!"

"What are you talking about?" Toru asked as Byakuya's hand found the doorknob, tried it, and found it to be locked.

He turned in surprise and pulled harder, but the door would not budge. Toru moved in close to him again, dark power rising around him as he slowly shed his human form and let his hollow form emerge.

"You have missed the whole point of this," the hollow hissed.

Byakuya turned to face Toru and his face paled even more than usual.

"Oh…" Byakuya gasped, "Oh…no…"

"Have you guessed yet?" the hollow said, raising himself to full height and towering over Byakuya, "There _is_ no client…just like there is no Toru. I ate the real Toru before you ever met him…and I took his place here. The whores in this place…are my food. They come in, desperate for one reason or another. I use them for as long as they are useful, then I bring them down here and I drain them…and I eat them. But you don't have to worry, Bya. I won't eat you for a long time. You and I will be together many, many times before then."

Byakuya stared up at the hollow in dismay and set his back against the door. He felt an odd stirring in his spirit centers and again felt the questing touch of Renji's reiatsu. The hollow glared down at him through wicked red-golden eyes and its slender, black hands reached for him.

"No…" Byakuya said, striking out.

He started across the room and was stunned when his flash step engaged and made the hollow miss grabbing him as he swept by. Pain erupted through his body and Byakuya knew it was that he had been without his powers for so long that his spirit centers had to become accustomed to its use again.

"So," the hollow hissed in a rasping voice, "Little Bya has some tricks up his sleeve."

The creature's sonido engaged and he appeared suddenly in front of Byakuya and took hold of him by the throat. Byakuya placed his hands against the beast and breathed a kido spell. The blast that erupted from his hands was weak, but it was enough to startle the hollow and to make him release his grip. Byakuya flash stepped to the door and blasted it with another kido spell. He groaned inwardly as he realized it would take a second attempt to shatter the door. He raised his hands again, but was taken off his feet and thrown down onto the bed with force enough to nearly break it. He started to roll to his feet, but was pinned by the hollow's larger, heavier body. Claws extended from the beast's fingertips and dug into his skin.

"Hold still, now," the hollow hissed, "Or I will extend my claws while my fingers are inside you!"

He knew better than to hesitate and shifted and threw his weight upward and to the side, throwing his heavier foe off of him and flash stepping to the door again. The beast's claws found his kimono as he fled and slashed at it, tearing the top and leaving him bared to the waist. Thin lines of blood rose across his back. The hollow raised his claw to his lips and slowly licked the blood away as he closed in on Byakuya again.

"You can't escape," it rasped, using its sonido to close the distance between them again.

He managed to catch the dark-haired man around the waist and threw him towards the bed again. Byakuya's body struck the wall with crushing force and he fell onto the bed, groaning. The hollow approached the bed slowly, glowering down at the injured shinigami as he tried to summon another kido blast and was unable. The hollow's claws wrapped around his wrists and forced them down as it climbed on top of him and let him feel it's enlarged member through their clothes. It locked Byakuya's hands together above his head and reached into the tattered clothing that still clung to it. The dark-haired shinigami struggled hard to pull free as the hollow's hand emerged from its clothes, bearing a wicked looking syringe.

"This should take the fight out of you!" the creature said, jabbing his arm with the needle.

Byakuya struggled harder and the hollow smiled and let him tear free. The shinigami dragged himself to his feet and staggered towards the door as dizziness swept over him. The beast stalked him slowly as he stumbled away and down the hall. He reached the door at the bottom of the stairway and gathered his power, trying not to think about the hollow that was moving closer by the moment. He loosed a blast as the hollow reached him, but again, it was not strong enough to break the door. He struck again, quickly as the hollow grabbed him and threw him against the wall. The breath left his body at the impact and the cement blocks cracked. His eyes locked on the hollow's, Byakuya slid to the floor and remained on his hands and knees, gasping for air and barely able to see.

"Don't worry," said the hollow, gathering him up and making him scream in pain as his broken ribs were jostled, "I will heal you. I have no intention of letting you die. I have waited too long for you, Bya."

Byakuya tasted blood in his mouth and spit it in the creature's face, trying to break free. The hollow merely laughed and licked it away, then carried the injured shinigami back to the room and set him in restraints. He leaned over the panting man and shifted back to human form.

"Be calm now," he said in Toru's voice, "I only became rough with you because you tried to escape. Lie still now."

Byakuya couldn't help but sigh in relief as his broken bones were carefully mended. Toru focused his power on each injury, one by one until Byakuya's flesh had been returned to its pristine state. He leaned forward and kissed the restrained noble on the forehead.

"I am going to have to drain you a bit," Toru told him apologetically, "Your struggling made me use more power than I intended."

Byakuya felt an odd sense of euphoria pass over him, freezing him in place and holding him spellbound as Toru shifted to hollow form again and lowered his mouth to fasten on the shinigami's. He felt hard suction, then the dizzying sense of having his lifeblood consumed. But it wasn't blood that the creature was sucking away, he realized…it was his core life force. Unlike reiatsu, life force was not meant to be used or drained. And if some was lost, it took large amounts of time to restore. Sometimes it couldn't be restored and the drained being lost years of his or her life.

Byakuya strained to move, but was held frozen as the hollow completed his feeding, then sat back and took on Toru's form again. He gazed down at the restrained man in the bed and touched his face gently.

"You are so lovely, Bya…so beautiful, but…I wonder about you now. You seem to have powers you didn't before. Why is that?"

Byakuya stared at him, but didn't answer.

"It doesn't matter," Toru went on, "You are mine now."

He tore away the last of his clothing and laid down next to his captive as Byakuya blinked and squinted, and tried to break free of the drugged haze he was in. Toru went on talking, but his words faded into unintelligible, garbled sounds. His hands roamed over Byakuya's bared torso and his lips and tongue lazily explored the dazed shinigami's mouth and throat. Byakuya's objections brought a smile to Toru's face and he laced their fingers together.

"Don't worry. Now that you are not fighting me, I will be gentle with you."

His eyes bored down into his captive's, and Byakuya wondered briefly if that too was a means of draining him. All of the strength seemed to have left his body and a tremendous weariness stole over him. He felt Toru's hand slide down his abdomen and the hollow's fingers lingered over his awakening genitalia before moving further down and entering him.

Somewhere in the back of his mind, it registered that Renji's reiatsu seemed closer. He loosed his own and closed his eyes, barely conscious as Toru rose up over him. The brothel owner had shifted back to hollow form and red light swirled furiously around his body, lighting up the demonic face and hollow mask. A sudden explosion of sound made the beast launch off of him and turn towards the door. Byakuya turned his head to the side, watching as Zabimaru's jagged shikai form struck the hollow and forced him back into the wall, which cracked and broke under the weight of the blow. The hollow launched itself at Renji as the redhead flash stepped through the door and sent a kido blast that shattered the bonds holding Byakuya down.

Almost sobbing with relief, the groggy shinigami rolled over and fell onto the floor. His hands found a ragged yukata and his hands fumbled with it as Renji attacked the hollow again. The beast forced the redhead back, then the two locked themselves against each other, each trying to force the other to give ground. The hollow slashed at Renji with its sharp, black claws, tearing the redhead's yukata and making lines of blood rise up on his skin. He loosed a barrage of kido that forced the beast back, then flash stepped as the beast's sonido engaged and he disappeared and reappeared next to Byakuya. He grabbed the shinigami by the throat and dragged him to his feet, then held the dazed man against him and glared at Renji.

"He is _mine_!" the hollow hissed, "He belongs to _me_!"

Renji said nothing, but launched himself forward and knocked both Byakuya and the hollow off their feet and giving the noble a chance to run.

"Get out of here!" Renji screamed, "Run, Byakuya!"

He surged to his feet and then froze there as the hollow turned suddenly and forced Renji back against the wall.

_He…sees me?_

_No!_

"Byakuya, get out!" Renji yelled again as the beast tore at him.

Blood ran down the front of Renji's body and as Byakuya watched dazedly, the hollow drew back a clawed hand and prepared to use it to impale the red-haired captain through the chest.

Fire seemed to rush suddenly through Byakuya's veins and something solid formed in his hand.

_Master, I am here, _whispered the voice of his samurai zanpakutou, and suddenly, his body acted without thought.

He launched himself forward, the sword that had appeared in his hand extending out in front of him. Senbonzakura passed cleanly into the hollow's back and the point poked out the front. The hollow looked down in surprise as it registered that he had taken a fatal hit, then a soft voice rose up behind him.

"Scatter, Senbonzakura."

Petals exploded through the hollow, cutting it to ribbons as it gave a hard, dying scream. The two stunned shinigamis watched its body shimmer and fade away, then stood in perfect silence, staring wordlessly at each other.

Renji stood and stepped away from the wall unsteadily, moving towards Byakuya and slowly wrapping his arms around his lost love. Byakuya closed his eyes and his fevered mind registered that beloved voice as it released a flood of words he barely understood.

"Oh, kami, I've been looking for you forever! Gods, I thought you were dead…or imprisoned somewhere…and you couldn't get back to me. Was it like you said? You couldn't remember? But you didn't even look like yourself? What happened to you…Byakuya?"

It was the sound of his noble name that seemed to awaken him…that reminded him of why he was inside the brothel…and why he could not let this reunion happen. As Renji's mouth sought his and the redhead's hands touched his face to make sure he was real, the noble backed away and tore free, his eyes wide and haunted, as though he was trapped in a terrifying dream.

"No…" he whispered, backing away, "I…no…no…no…"

"Byakuya," Renji said, staring, "What's wrong with you?"

Shaking hands abandoned Senbonzakura and the noble exploded into flash steps. He raced up the stairs, down the hallway and through the building entry, the front doors turning to splinters as he charged through them. He burst out into the cold night, turning towards the end of town, where he had first been found upon appearing in Inuzuri. His mind screamed for the king to appear…to take him back. And as thunder sounded and raindrops began to fall, he felt the rise of power ahead of him. He tried not to think about the red-haired captain who flash stepped after him, but his ears couldn't help but hear the rending sound of his name.

"_BYAKUYA! BYAKUYA, STOP!"_


	18. Reflection

**Chapter 18: Reflection**

**XXXXXXXXXX**

_**Held up to the mirror, I finally see the truth in my reflection. All of my lies and half-truths fall away, as my true nature is revealed. In the depths of its shiny surface, I see you watching from behind me, as all else falls away and my heart is exposed. You stare in surprise at what you see…how much you are a part of me, and how I cannot be myself without you.**_

**XXXXXXXXXX**

The dark clouds over Inuzuri lit brightly. Thunder crashed and the skies opened up. Rain tumbled down and marked the gathering of cloth and white flesh and bone that flashed madly through the darkened streets. One might have thought that he was running away, but the urgency in his flight across the poor town was not caused by a need to escape, but a need to find.

_What is wrong with me?_

_Why am I like this?_

_Who in kami's name am I?_

_I was born into a noble family and raised to be like them. And nobles are supposed to walk with their own, to live within the boundaries of proper behavior, to bring their families honor. I set out in good faith to do those things…to be an example of what a noble lord is meant to be. Even though my heart was not in it, I said the words I knew they expected and I tried to do as I was supposed to. I might have been able to fool them all…if not for three people._

_Hisana._

_Rukia._

_Renji._

_As each came into my life, something happened. And where I tried to abide by the rules of the clan and walk within the boundaries, it was like the boundaries themselves moved and I could no longer remain inside. I wasn't like the rest of them. I thought it was wrong for me to be different, but from the moment Hisana came into my life, I couldn't help but be myself. She had my heart…enough so that I broke the rules to keep her close to me. And when she was gone, I broke them again in her memory. After that, I swore never to break the rules again…but I didn't anticipate Renji._

_Who could?_

_From that very first moment I saw him…that day when I invited Rukia into my family…I knew. As I walked by him, something happened. There was no eye contact, nothing physical, but there was a revealing of souls. It made an imprint on my heart. Then, when his face was among the ones being considered for vice captain, I chose him as much for the sense of fate I had in looking at him as for his considerable skills. Of course, I lied to myself and said that I chose him for his abilities…but when he broke into Las Noches and freed me from the prisons…that wildness in him, that heedlessness made me completely lose my ability to hold back._

_Again, as before, I couldn't help but loose everything inside, everything I held back in honor of my family and their expectations. Renji knew. He saw that I wasn't at all what I appeared to be. As carefully as I had constructed that part of myself, he saw right through it…to the very heart of me. And he loved what he found inside me._

_That's why I couldn't let go…_

_And although I walked the path to the spirit dimension. Although I let go of his hand and went obediently to accept my fate, the moment came to finally break away from him, to shut off that wild, free-spirited part of myself that resonated with him. If I had said the words and become Prince Byakuya, I would have become the proud noble my family always wanted._

_But I looked into Eri's eyes…and around that beautifully decorated room…and as I did, I caught sight of myself in a distant mirror. And I finally realized. I could not be that prince. I was proud, stubborn, wild, free-spirited, powerful…and completely in love with the one person who would have looked into the mirror and, like me, seen the truth._

_I am no prince._

_And a noble name does not define me._

_Whatever name I am called, I live and breathe for that force of nature, that lovely nightmare in red, the crimson warrior who makes my eyes light from within, who steals my breath, who sends mad shivers down my spine. He loves and haunts me wherever I am, and the moment I am threatened, appears to stand between me and any threat._

_The reason that I could not say the words, why I could not be their dutiful prince…is because my heart was already spoken for and given. And as though handfasted and soul bound, we were together in heart, even as I tried to do the proper thing by walking away._

_But this love is not something either of us can walk away from. And when Renji pleaded with me that day to fight for it, he was only acknowledging what we had truly become. Now, for both of us there is no other. It does not matter how far or fast I run, I cannot escape us._

_So I am not running away, but to…to know the truth, to acknowledge it, and finally to live it. _

Byakuya reached the end of town and slid to a stop in the midst of a huge, dark and barren plain. He felt the power of the spirit king rising around him and dropped to his knees in the mud, barely cognizant of the rain that continued to pour down all around him. It had to be cold, but nothing reached him. He stared breathlessly as the royal monarch rose up before him and brought light to the area around him. The rain no longer touched him and the icy breezes no longer made his numbed body shiver. He gazed into the eyes of the spirit king and was unaware when Renji appeared behind him and slid to a stop, his eyes fastening on the two men ahead of him.

"Byakuya Kuchiki," the king said quietly, "once again, you intrigue me…frustrate me…fascinate me. Explain to me, Byakuya. Explain to me why, when you had won, you turned and ran, why you came here to ask me to destroy you, who I created. Is your defiance so great that you cannot follow any rules? Even ones that benefit you? Speak. Enlighten me."

Byakuya felt the turbulence drain away and his body was flooded again with calm as he looked up into the king's eyes and gave him the absolute truth.

"Bya is a better man than Byakuya ever was," he said softly, "And the ones that both Bya and Byakuya love need Bya. The clan has a capable leader in Tetsuya. Rukia has Renji, who Byakuya stole from her and kept her from for many years. Renji has a lover who can give his whole self over and Emiko…Emiko doesn't even know Byakuya. Byakuya would be a complete stranger to her."

"But that is not all."

"No."

"Then what more is there?"

"Byakuya Kuchiki abandoned his lover. He constantly chose his family and duty over that man and in the process destroyed a love that would have been worth the sacrifice. He couldn't go against his family, break the rules, refuse to marry the princess, or brave the streets of Inuzuri, pick up the pieces of a child's broken heart, persevere endlessly despite all that dragged him down, center his life around the ones he wasn't supposed to love, and give himself, body and soul to their protection. Byakuya Kuchiki would never have whored himself to keep them alive. He couldn't. In the name of honor, he would have watched them die. He nearly watched his sister be executed. He could be that cold. He could kill or part with anything that threatened pride or honor. He was constantly at war with himself and was weary of that battle."

"Bullshit!" exclaimed Renji, making the surprised noble catch his breath and turn.

"Renji…" he mouthed voicelessly.

The king regarded the redhead with a surprisingly warm expression and said nothing as Renji brought Byakuya back to his feet. The noble stared at the red-haired captain silently, waiting. The red-brown eyes that met his were angry…furious, but there was something beneath that, that made the proud noble stand quietly and listen. And to their mutual surprise, the king listened too.

"Byakuya," Renji said, taking the noble's hand, "and Bya…you can't separate them like that. Don't you get it? All of those things that you said Byakuya would never do? Byakuya Kuchiki _did_ them! Because it doesn't matter that your face changed, or that you ended up here as a poor man of Inuzuri, you are still Byakuya Kuchiki, and you are still my lover. All you did by changing your face and your name was to change what's on the surface. Inside, you never stopped being yourself. Forget all of that shit about nobility or poverty, powerful or weak, shinigami or peasant...what matters is what's in here."

Renji placed a warm hand over Byakuya's pounding heart.

"That's how my heart recognized you before I ever could. That's why I fell in love with you at first sight that day you invited Rukia into your family, and that's why it happened again that first moment I rescued you from Toru…the first time, that is."

He paused for a moment to brush wet raven strands away from his lover's dark eyes.

"I made a mistake when I accused you of not being willing to fight for us. I don't know what happened in the spirit dimension, but judging from all of this, I'd say that you refused to marry the princess, ne?"

Byakuya stared for a moment longer, then sighed softly and nodded. Renji looked up at the spirit king.

"So I was wrong when I accused you of not being willing to fight for us," the redhead went on, "You did fight for us, but you had to do that in your own way…and when you were ready. So what happened? How did you end up here…as Bya?"

Byakuya held onto the redhead's hands tightly and remained silent.

"He carried out his duties flawlessly until he would have had to make his vows to my daughter," explained the king, "at which point, he froze, much like now and became speechless. As punishment for his defiance, I set him a task. I set him down in Inuzuri and made him unrecognizable to anyone but you, Renji Abarai. His task was to find himself again, and to make himself visible to you. He had one year in which to accomplish this…and he was able to do so. Despite his odd attempt here to undo himself, he has won the right to choose to be with you. But before I let the two of you go, there is a story I must tell you."

The king lowered himself to his knees and settled as the two shinigamis exchanged curious glances and followed suit.

"No one knows this. No one remembers it except for me, but…Eri is not my only child."

He paused and his eyes grew sad and stormy.

"Eri had an older sister. She was a lovely girl…wild and free-spirited, kind, gentle hearted. But beneath the gentleness dwelt a fierce warrior. And when anything riled her heart, she fought it tooth and nail. As a result, she and I constantly clashed. And though I sought to cure her of her rebelliousness and defiance, it seemed to have no end. And one day, she went too far."

The king took a soft breath and continued.

"She was to be betrothed to the Kuchiki heir of the time, Soujun Kuchiki, son of Ginrei, and your father, Byakuya. And Sorano, as I called her, was very pleased at the union. She traveled to Kuchiki Manor repeatedly to spend time with the young lord and they were very much in love. But…as you know, Soujun did not inherit the great power all had hoped he would. A capable shinigami, he rose to the rank of vice captain, but was unable to achieve ban kai. As such, I withdrew my daughter from the betrothal. An heir to the throne, I felt her mate must be one of higher power and quality. Sorano was, of course, furious…and her fury led her to recklessness. She left the palace one night and traveled alone to Kuchiki Manor. She convinced Soujun to leave with her…and the two were secretly wed. She masked her reiatsu and appeared to everyone to be simply a female of one of the lower noble houses. She used her powers to ensure none would question this…so only I knew afterward what she had done."

The monarch sighed and closed his eyes.

"I was enraged at her defiance…but I could not undo what she had done as she was already with child. So, in my anger, I disowned her. I erased the memory of her from everyone…everyone but me, myself. And Sorano became the simple female of a lower noble family who married your father."

The king gazed at Byakuya, who looked back at him silently with widened eyes.

"I did not realize the weight that my anger would place upon her heart. She bore a son…you, Byakuya, but so grieved was she at losing her connection to her family that her heart seemed to die within her and she took her last breath as you drew your first. But it seems that she breathed her spirit into you. And although your face is like your father's and you try to be dutiful and proper, it is your mother's heart that beats beneath your breast and constantly causes you to fight yourself."

The king's lips curved into a sad smile.

"Defiance, I called it. And I thought that it was. And so, for centuries, I have believed that lie…the lie that my daughter was just an undisciplined, defiant brat who ran away with her unworthy lover. And as I watched you grow older and more powerful, I saw the same defiance beneath the noble exterior you tried so hard to keep up. I thought you poisoned with it…and that is why I sent the summons. Eri is your aunt. I would never have let the ceremony be completed. I brought you to the spirit dimension to test you, Byakuya, son of Soujun and Sorano…to see if you, too, would defy me. And, of course, you did. You stood before everyone and refused to agree to the vows of matrimony to my daughter. And again, I was greatly angered. My anger drove me to challenge your love for Renji Abarai. You see, if your behavior had been simple defiance, then you and Renji would not have found each other again. It is as your vibrant lover said…your heart revealed you to him, even though I made you unrecognizable. And in the course of watching you struggle, I realized that with Sorano, and with you, it was not defiance that caused you to disobey. Sorano's heart was devoted to Soujun, even before they married, just as yours was devoted to Renji Abarai. And in both cases, your mother and you rebelled out of a devotion to love, a protectiveness of it."

The king looked back across the plain, where dawn was arriving, lighting up Inuzuri's ragged buildings in the distance.

"Both you and Sorano saw love in a very broad spectrum. It didn't matter to her that the rest of us judged Soujun to be beneath her…and it didn't matter to you that as a male and a peasant, your clan saw Renji as beneath you. Byakuya, not everyone is capable of loving across boundaries. But…a king must be able to love all creatures. He places them across the three worlds and allows them the freedom to make what they will of their lives. He loves and respects all, but allows them to struggle and grow…whether they live in palaces or in the cold streets. He hears their cries and prayers and always answers in some way. He protects without endangering free will and brings comfort without suffocating. Being king means judicious use of great power. And the one who holds that power must have a driving will to protect. Sorano possessed this in great quantities and her son does as well."

"My lord," whispered Byakuya, "Does this mean…?"

"This means that from this moment forward, the memory of my Sorano will be restored. And you…and Renji, Emiko too, are invited to join me in the spirit dimension. I cannot bring back my daughter, but I can give her child his title…and someday, his crown. But knowing my grandson's penchant for trying to undo himself, I must insist that he be officially handfasted and bound to the one stabilizing force strong enough to keep him from sabotaging himself."

The king's eyes fastened on Renji.

"You have my gratitude, Renji Abarai, for bringing my grandson to his senses, and for opening my eyes again to the beauty and complexity of my daughter. I am in your debt. Go now…and begin the preparations. I will see you in the spirit dimension in three days time. Do not be late."

And before their staring eyes, the king faded away, leaving the two damp men kneeling in the mud, watching the sun break through the clouds to bring morning to Inuzuri.

Renji studied Byakuya's weary, mud encrusted, tattered form and brought a dirty hand to an only slightly less filthy porcelain cheek.

"You're a mess, Byakuya Kuchiki, a real disgrace," he said affectionately, "A crown prince has no business looking like this…"

The redhead made a sound of surprise as he was tackled and brought down in the long grass, and the lithe, slender body of his lover held his down. It wasn't so often, Renji thought, that Byakuya dominated. Most often, because he spent so much of his time leading, it was a relief to him to be held down, loved and gently invaded. But all great loves needed balance. And here, as he finally reached a place of peace within himself, his noble lover offered that balance.

_And,_ Renji thought, _who doesn't want to be held sometimes? As much as I enjoy taking him, I love feeling his strength again. It's been so damned long and we've had to fight so hard for this._

_But it's over…_

_We're together now and nothing will take us away from each other again…_

He closed his eyes and opened his mouth, welcoming the hot, insistent tongue that pushed inside, captured his and teased him shamelessly. Slender hands pushed their clothing aside and parted the redhead's thighs. Tranquil gray eyes locked on happy red-brown and Byakuya took him in short, deepening thrusts until he was fully inside.

"Aishiteru yo," the noble whispered, "I am sorry for keeping you waiting while I searched for the person you saw all along. I know I hurt you…and I will spend the rest of our lives making that up to you…if you will have me. Will you marry me?"

Renji laughed, sending a jolt of pleasure through the noble and making his eyelids flutter.

"I thought we were already engaged," he said, kissing Byakuya again.

"We were," agreed the noble, "but at the time, I wasn't able to give my whole self to you. I have been freed to do that now…and so, I will ask again, will you marry me, Renji?"

The noble moved his hips, making the man beneath him catch his breath and groan hungrily.

"Should I take that as a 'yes?'"

"Yes," Renji sighed, arching up into the noble's body, "Oh, gods, yes!"

Byakuya's body moved in response, making both men inhale sharply. They fell into a heated torrent of heavy thrusts, the noble's deceptively delicate looking form, flaring nearly white with rising power. The golden-tanned and tattooed body of his lover flared red…and where their power met and blended together, the red and white softened into a lovely, rosy pink. Renji's hands gripped Byakuya's hips tightly and his red mouth opened into intense moans of pleasure, that rose into howls as his lover's thrusting member found the bundle of sensitive nerves inside him and struck it, hard and fast, once…twice…three times in quick succession. Hot seed pulsed onto their still-raging bodies and the noble held himself deep inside his beautiful, red-haired lover. He buried that fiery red mouth in sweet, sakura kisses as his body shook fitfully and his seething release filled the lovely body that was so intimately joined with his.

He remained entrenched in Renji's body for a long time after, then rolled onto his back at the redhead's side and they laid quietly in the long grass, delightfully naked and pleasantly sated, enjoying the slow crawl of puffy clouds across the sky.

"Sorano," Renji whispered, finally breaking the silence, "It means, 'of the sky,' ne? I guess that's why you seem to love the sky so much."

Byakuya smiled.

"Perhaps…"

Renji chuckled softly.

"I have a question for you," he said, squeezing his noble lover's hand.

Byakuya turned a calm gray eye to look at him.

"You are done running, right? I'm not going to have to chase you all over the three worlds anymore, right?"

Byakuya lifted their joined hands to his lips and kissed Renji's fingertips.

"Where would I go, watashi no koi?" he asked softly, "Your love would find me anywhere."

"You got that right," Renji said, turning and crawling onto his lover's body, eager to begin the next round of lovemaking.


	19. Our Many Blessings

**Chapter 19: Our Many Blessings**

**XXXXXXXXXX**

_**Here at the end of our struggles, we stand at the beginning of a new world. We have built this place upon the lessons we've learned, carefully sown the seeds of our future. We look to the sun to bring light and warmth, to the breeze to bring song and story. Rest now in the fragrant gardens, with your head on my shoulder and your eyes to the sky, searching for a new dream to follow.**_

**XXXXXXXXXX**

Renji opened the door to Emiko's room and stepped inside. He was unsurprised to find the girl leaning against the windowsill and gazing out at the clouds that crossed the sky. She turned at the sound of the door opening and smiled at him, then looked beyond him to where she expected to see Bya. But Renji closed the door behind him and sat down next to her. He read the worried look in her eyes and acted quickly to head off her fears.

"How are you feeling, kiddo?" he asked, smiling, "You look a lot better now."

"I'm fine," she assured him, "But Renji, where is Bya?"

"Bya is on his way in, but I wanted to talk to you first before he gets here."

"Did he get hurt?" the girl asked quickly, "Did something happen to him?"

"Bya is fine," Renji assured her, "but when you see him, he is going to look a little bit different to you. You see, I found out something…something kind of amazing. Bya is really special, even more special than we thought."

"What do you mean?" Emiko asked, looking confused, "What did you find out?"

Renji smiled.

"Well, you know how I was looking for Byakuya Kuchiki, the man who used to be my captain and was called to the spirit dimension to marry the spirit king's daughter, ne?"

Emiko nodded.

"I found out that Byakuya Kuchiki went to the spirit dimension, as the king told him to do. He tried very hard to obey his king and to marry the princess, but Byakuya's heart belonged to me, and in the end, he couldn't marry the princess. The king was upset with him and thought he deserved a punishment, so he made it so that no one could recognize Byakuya…and sent him here to Inuzuri. He was given one year to find me…and for us to fall in love again. And we did, Emiko."

"What?" whispered the girl, "You mean…?"

"I mean that the man we know as Bya is really Byakuya Kuchiki. And because we found each other and we fell in love again, the spell was broken and now he looks like himself again. But he is still the person you know. Only the way he looks on the outside has changed."

Renji turned back and opened the door and Byakuya entered the room. The girl's eyes swept over the tall, dark-eyed shinigami, noting the deeper, wider gray eyes, the darker hair decorated with the kenseiken. The feel of his reiatsu was stronger, and Emiko sensed his great power, but as he reached the bed and sat down, she leaned towards him, touching his face gently and gazing into his eyes.

"It _is_ you!" she said wonderingly as Byakuya's arms wrapped around her and pulled her close.

"Yes," he said quietly, "It is me."

She stared at him, wide-eyed.

"So…does that mean that we will go to live at Kuchiki Manor?" she asked, remembering her visit to the Kuchiki home.

"Actually," Byakuya said, smiling, "in addition to being a member of the Kuchiki clan, the spirit king told me that my mother was actually the crown princess. She died when I was born, and that means that I am now the crown prince."

Emiko's eyes went as wide as saucers.

"You are…a prince? A real prince?" she asked in an incredulous tone.

"I was pretty blown away by that too, kid," Renji added, slipping an arm around Byakuya and sitting down next to him.

"I was taken by surprise as well," said the noble, "And what this means is that when Renji and I are married, the three of us will go to live in the king's palace in the spirit dimension."

"But I'm supposed to go to the shinigami academy!" objected Emiko, "And Renji is a captain! Does that mean…?"

"You may still attend the shinigami academy," Byakuya explained, "but when you leave the spirit dimension, you will be attended by a personal bodyguard, a member of the King's Hogosha. They are special protectors of the royal family."

"And will Renji still be able to be a captain?" the girl asked.

"If he wishes it, he may," said the noble, "but as crown prince, I have power to choose a strong shinigami to be the crown prince's special protector, or Prince's Hogosha. And because Renji has proven to be such a capable protector, I have decided to recommend him. If he accepts, he will have primary responsibility for seeing to my protection, both in spirit dimension and when we travel to Soul Society or the living world."

"The Hogosha…" Renji mused, "I don't know. Have you _seen_ those guys? They are…really something!"

Byakuya smiled and brought his face close to Renji's.

"_You_ are really something," he said quietly, "For years, I have had the comfort of your protection and love. I don't want that to end…not now, and not ever. I love you, Renji."

The redhead laughed.

"Well then, it looks like I'm going to keep loving _and _protecting you, Prince Byakuya."

"Oh stop, I haven't been officially given my royal title yet. I won't until our wedding. Today, I am just Byakuya, and believe me, that is more than enough for me."

XXXXXXXXXX

"You look lovely," said Byakuya, admiring Emiko's formal kimono and smiling.

Noa put the finishing touches on the girl's hair and stood.

"You both look wonderful," she said, her eyes warm and happy.

Renji poked his nose into the room.

"Hey guys, the Royal Guard escort just arrived! I think it's time to go."

Byakuya nodded and stood, his kimono rustling softly. He took Emiko's hand, then joined Renji and walked outside.

The streets of the town outside the healer's building were lined with people, all smiling and craning to see as Byakuya, Renji and Emiko stepped out of the building and into the street. Emiko inhaled sharply at the sight.

"Why are they staring like that?" she asked softly.

Renji smiled.

"It's not every day that princes and princesses come walking through Inuzuri, kid. It's exciting for them."

"The spirit king has spread the story of my father and mother, and how I came to learn that I am the crown prince. I think that if we were them, we would wish to see as well. People like fairy tales, Emiko. Do you know why?"

"Why?"

"People like fairy tales because they reminds us that our lives are not a straight line ahead of us. Our choices lay the foundation for our fate, and so as we make each decision, we ourselves write the story of our lives…and we affect other people's stories along the way."

"Like how I happened to be hurt at the same time you were and Noa asked you to take care of me?" Emiko asked.

"Just like that," Byakuya confirmed.

"My story was changed by your arrival in it, just as yours was changed by my arrival."

"I guess that's why my mom and dad kept telling me to think about how I was acting when I did something wrong," the girl concluded.

"Yes," Byakuya agreed, "We have to be careful in our choices, because it is not only our own lives that we affect. We affect all of the ones around us, and so we are all connected."

"It's time," the Royal Guard Captain said, bowing, "We are ready, Lord Byakuya."

"I thought you were a prince," Emiko whispered.

Byakuya smiled.

"I will be given my royal title when we reach the spirit dimension. For now, I am simply Lord Byakuya, head of the Kuchiki clan."

"And what am I?" asked the girl.

"Today, you are Lady Emiko, but when we reach the palace, you will become Princess Emiko."

"I get to be a princess?" Emiko asked, her face lighting up, "Does Renji get to be a prince too?"

"Yes," Byakuya said, nodding, "He will be Prince Renji and he will also be Crown Prince's Hogosha."

There was no more time for talking as the three were led to a group of horses. Emiko gasped with delight as Byakuya mounted a huge white stallion and Renji set her lightly in front of the noble. Renji climbed on last, behind Byakuya and the Royal Guard led them forward as their friends watched and waved to them.

"Can I wave back?" asked Emiko.

"Yes, wave gently and smile," Byakuya directed her.

The procession moved slowly through the busy streets of the Roukongai, through the main gates into the Seireitei and on to Kuchiki Manor. Rukia waited at the front gates of the manor and was helped onto another white horse that moved to join them.

"Brother," Rukia sighed, her eyes shining with tears, "I was so worried. I am really glad you are safe."

"I am sorry to have worried you," he replied softly, as the horses continued down the bustling streets.

They stopped at the first division, where the head captain opened a Royal Senkaimon for them and the group passed over into the spirit dimension. Emiko gripped Byakuya's hand tightly as her eyes swept over the slightly misted, dreamy surroundings, the trail through the thick forest, the opening into wide plains with rolling hills. And when the palace rose up ahead of them, she was left speechless.

"I can't believe we're going to live _here_," she whispered as they arrived in the courtyard and attendants appeared all around to help them down and lead them inside.

They were taken first to their rooms, where servants waited to bathe them and dress them in fresh kimonos. Then, another attendant appeared and led them into the throne room. They knelt before the spirit king and consort, their heads bowed respectfully as he greeted them.

He rose from his throne and walked first to Byakuya. He placed a warm hand on the noble lord's shoulder.

"Welcome home, Lord Byakuya, son of the late Princess Sorano and the noble Soujun Kuchiki. As I have restored your mother to her rightful place in the royal line of kings and queens, I now bestow upon you, your royal title, Byakuya. Crown Prince of the three worlds."

He placed his hand in Byakuya's, gently brought him to his feet and kissed him lightly, once on each cheek. Byakuya remained at his side and the two moved to stand before Renji.

"Renji Abarai, Captain of the fifth division of the Gotei 13," the king said, laying a hand on the redhead's shoulder, "and betrothed of my grandson, Prince Byakuya, I welcome you to the spirit dimension."

He paused, gazing down at Renji's bowed head.

"The royal family, and I in particular, owe you a great debt of thanks. You began life as an orphan of the Rukongai. Life there was very difficult, but you made the best of it and grew strong so that years later, you could serve proudly as a captain in my armed forces. Yet even aside from that, you have accomplished many numerous important things. You have been a good and loyal friend, a devoted subordinate, a committed partner, and the fiercest of protectors. And in addition, as you stood at my grandson's side, you gave him what he needed to find his strength, even when he fell from my good graces and was left with nothing. You respected his ability to take care of himself, even when doing so was very difficult, you loved him from the heart, and always, you helped him to see the way to move forward when his path became difficult. Because of this, you have my deepest gratitude, and my blessing for your marriage. I wish you and my grandson many happy years together. In addition, as of your marriage to Byakuya, I will award you the royal title, Prince Renji Abarai."

He glanced up at Byakuya.

"And now, I think Byakuya has something to bestow upon you as well."

"Thank you, my lord," Byakuya said, inclining his head.

He turned to Renji and drew Senbonzakura.

"Renji Abarai," Byakuya said quietly, "As my first duty as Crown Prince, I hereby recognize your loyalty, your power and your desire to protect. I offer to you the additional designation of Crown Prince's Hogosha."

Renji smiled.

"It would be my honor," he answered, meeting Byakuya's eyes warmly.

"Very well," Byakuya said, touching one shoulder, then the other lightly with his zanpakutou, "then I name you Abarai-hogosha, the Crown Prince's protector."

"Thank you, my lord," Renji said as Byakuya slipped a hand into his and brought him to his feet.

The two joined the king as he stood before Emiko. The girl kept her head bowed until the king place a hand on hers and raised her. Then she stood, staring up into the king's eyes, frozen like a dear, her heat beating hard inside her.

_Why is he looking at me that way?"_

"Lady Emiko," the king said softly, "You have suffered greatly for one so young. You have suffered the loss of your parents and have had to struggle to find warmth and food. Yet with all you have endured, you still look upon your king with trust…with respect. Tell me why."

Emiko caught her breath at the question.

"My lord?" she whispered, "I don't know exactly."

She thought for several minutes, gazing up at the king, then letting her eye stray to Byakuya and Renji. A slow smile rose on her lips.

"Sir," she went on, "I am very sad that my parents died, and it was really hard being cold and hungry. But it wasn't all bad. My parents took good care of me and taught me things while they were alive. And when they weren't anymore, there was still Michio and Noa, who healed me…and then Noa asked Bya to take care of me. It was because of Bya coming into my room when I was healing, because he sat down and hugged me and sang to me that I felt like I could breathe again. And Bya took good care of me. He listened to me and he helped me with my bad feelings about my parents being gone. He and Renji helped me when I had bad dreams, and they taught me things. Because of them, I am going to be able to go to the shinigami academy and become a healer. They helped me, and they made me stronger, so I can help other people who are like I used to be. I guess what I mean is…I miss my parents, but I feel lucky to have good friends who helped me grow strong."

The king smiled and reached down to touch her face.

"You are wise beyond your years, child, but can you really say that you are not angry with me for your parents being gone? Do you wonder why I didn't save them? Many people ask why I do not solve all of their problems. Do you wonder as well?"

Emiko stared at him silently for a long time, then her eye strayed again to Byakuya. The prince smiled back at her and nodded.

"I think," she said quietly, "It's like Bya…I mean, Prince Byakuya told me. He said that we all have our own story…and we do things that affect other people's stories, and they do things that affect ours."

"Yes, child," the king agreed.

"And if you always solved everyone's problems, then we wouldn't make ourselves stronger and we wouldn't need to help each other. And besides," the girl said matter-of-factly, "Bya told me that we learn and grow by making mistakes and having tough problems to solve. I guess we couldn't grow if you took over and fixed everything all of the time. It doesn't mean a person shouldn't help another person…just they shouldn't do everything."

"But even though I do not interfere with their struggles, young Emiko, I listen to their prayers and I answer with a great gift, something that each person must only reach out and accept and it can make all of the difference. Do you know what gift I give them?"

Emiko furrowed her brow hard and thought carefully.

"I don't know for sure," she said uncertainly, "but I know that when my parents died, I had Michio and Noa, and then Bya and Renji. And I always had my friends."

"And there is your answer, child. Because as Bya told you, we affect each other's stories. So it is up to my people to affect each other in good ways. Sometimes by giving to someone who needs and sometimes by accepting, but always by trying to make each story end more happily."

"Like Renji helped Bya to find out he was a prince? And like Bya helped me to feel better and grow strong again after my parents died?"

"And as you did by returning to Inuzuri to give your friends a coat and a pair of shoes. You didn't fix all of their problems, but you affected their stories and made them better. As I said, you are wise, Lady Emiko," the king said, nodding, "And I will tell you now that tomorrow, when Prince Byakuya marries Renji Abarai and they officially adopt you as their daughter, you will join the royal line of succession as Prince Byakuya's royal heir."

The girl's eyes went wide.

"What?" she said, not quite believing her ears.

Byakuya and Renji, too, stared at the spirit king in surprise.

"How is that possible?" Emiko asked, "I'm not Byakuya's real daughter. I'm just adopted. I am not from the royal family!"

The king laughed softly.

"Emiko, child, remember that I dreamed of these worlds before they ever existed. I crafted them with my own hands and filled them with creatures I made…and who carried on to make more. Every living thing is my child. So…I may choose any I deem worthy to be placed in the royal succession."

He leaned over and kissed the girl softly on the forehead.

"And I see promise in your eyes. Yes, you were born a peasant, but you have proven yourself worthy to stand among the kings and queens of our worlds."

"I don't know," Emiko said in a small voice, "I don't know if I could do a good job taking care of everything! I might make a mistake!"

"Yes," said the king, glancing meaningfully in Byakuya's direction, "You will make many mistakes, Lady Emiko. But as your very intelligent friend, Bya, told you, those mistakes help you grow. And you do not stop growing, just because you become a king or queen. We all must grow, young Emiko. All of us."

"Yes, sir," Emiko said, bowing her head respectfully.

"Now go and enjoy the gardens," the king commanded them, "Be sure you rest well tonight because tomorrow will be an important day for all of us.

XXXXXXXXXX

Byakuya sat quietly in the king's garden, leaning against a very contented Renji Abarai and holding a peacefully sleeping Emiko against his shoulder. He watched as the sun set and the stars began to rise in the sky and sighed happily.

"Arigato, Renji," he whispered, breaking the long silence.

Renji nuzzled closer.

"For what?" he asked.

Byakuya smiled.

"For finding me when I was lost…for helping me find my way home, and for seeing me when I couldn't even recognize myself. You brought happiness back to my life story, and I will never forget that."

Renji laughed softly.

"Well, you made my story a happier one too. But you're welcome."

He leaned over and kissed the prince lingeringly.

"Aishiteru yo, Byakuya."

Byakuya smiled again and returned the gesture.

"Aishiteru yo, Renji."


End file.
